


Golden bird

by Rmenfys



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Masturbation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-28
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2018-03-19 23:29:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 47,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3628293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rmenfys/pseuds/Rmenfys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Au. Settled after the warring clans era but without chakra involved. characters are warriors not specifically shinobi. Story of how Tobirama understands that even if they show strenght and a hard exterior all women need the same: love. rated M for future incomes (smut) but problably will change to explicit o_o. Warning: this will be a very slow romance. Tobirama x OC.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Merits

**Author's Note:**

> All naruto characters belong to Kishimoto :)

My father has always been so kind to me. He never pushed me to do something I didn't want to, he educated me as he would have done with a male first born but loved me as his little girl. He always thought highly of me and asked me for help in paper issues. Until now I never would have thought that at the end it would be the same:

I'm a woman, and I could not decide my own future.

My father, General Kato, was one of the three military Generals of the Fire Land in representation of the coast region. The land, after ages of war, became a state thanks to the power of the Senju clan that unified the more powerful clans and, in the process, subjugated the rest of the clans in a state of relative peace through politics or force if necessary. In order to administrate it better, the land was divided in 3 regions: coast, mountain and valley, each one with a source of production and it’s own force to serve and protect the order the Hokage has established.

We lived in a medium sized household that faced the sea on one side and a thick forest on the other. It was strange to have a place to belong to after all that time of warring and I wished to see more of the world. But in this world, in this era, it was not possible. I had a duty to my family, to my beloved father, that exceed all the wars and battles and a couple months after I turned 22 I was finally asked to fulfill it.

-o-

_Valley Region: Hokage tower – Hokage's office_

"A falcon messenger has arrived from the coast, anija. It seems General Kato cannot attend our upcoming meeting." - Said the white haired Senju, a trace of preoccupation in his stern face.

"Ahhh, is that so? Why not?" - said the black haired one as he signed the freshly arrived pile of papers.

"It seems he's suffering a sickness, although he didn't say which one."

"General Kato? But he was always so healthy! This is so sudden… I think we should send one of our physicians…"

"Aren't you overreacting now, anija? It may be just a cold…"

"Tobirama! He gave us the tactical move that won the war! We can't afford to lose him. Besides, his intel is so good and he's loyal as a dog! We can't-"

"I know! I know you! We appreciate it a lot. Just control your crush on him..."

~sigh~ "It's just… He's an honorable man. It would be a shame to lose him to a sickness for lack of caution…"

"Okay. I'll send one of the best-"

"The best! It should be the best physician-"

~sigh~ " _You_ are the best physician, anija…"

"Oh! So it should be me-"

"Don't even think about that! People need you here. I'll send the one who follows after you."

~depressed sigh~ "Okay…"

-o-

_Coast region - Kato household_

"Father? Did you call for me?"

"Ah?...Who? Ah! Makoto-chan!"

"Yes.  Are you okay papa?"

~sigh~ "I wish I was my dear. I must talk to you while I still can."

"What's wrong, father? You are scaring me."

"Child…I'm so sorry but I'm afraid you cannot yield your birthrights to your sister anymore…"

"Wha-"

"Please, listen carefully. You are a clever one, I know you'll understand…"

~Nod~

"Sit by my side, dear…Take my hand."

And that's when she realized it, she was doomed. Her father's hands were trembling but they were sitting by the fire in a comfy couch in his office.  His sickness was far worse and there wasn't any medicine to cure it. She looked at her father with a mixture of realization, sadness and anger, and she hated that she couldn't say no to him.

"I knew you'd get it quickly." ~he said with a melancholic smile~ "You always do." He patted her head full of golden brown hair.

"The Senjus sent a physician, and he caught me easily. I had to confess your… authorship in the last tactical plans."

~She raised her head in astonishment~ "What?! But father! They could hang me for that! I'm not allowed to-"

"Shhhh… relax child. Hashirama wouldn't do that. He appreciates me to much. But I know you won't be allowed to do as you wish. That tactical plan was a masterpiece, they'll be good to you."

"But father… The master of the ancient library already made a place for me… It took so long for him to say yes. If I go now they can't reach me in the neutral land…"

~He looked at the fire, sadness clear in his dark eyes~ "Child, Mako-chan, I… I wish I could let you go now, that there's some peace here. But I didn't raise you to throw your talent to the wind or to enclose you in a god forsaken place. That's why I skipped the fact that you were a girl…-"

"Then what do you want father! For them to catch me and lock me up like a pretty, good wife and then force me to bear children and do women chores? Because that's what they'll do when you die! They'll use me to replace those who died!"

She didn't intend to sound so rough but the idea was so repulsive that it made her feel psychically ill. She did not - would not - let them lock her up doing house labor when she had fought for her place during the war, and in secret helped her father with the tactical and intel moves. It was just unfair!

"Kato Makoto! I'm still alive and your father!" - he was angry, but not because of his daughter's harsh words but because they were true. He knew it . That's why he had agreed to Makoto's petition to give away her birth rights as lady-heir of his home to her younger sister and go away to find the place she wanted to have in this world. She had won that right after her efforts in the war. But now he was sick and the war was just reduced to a lower scale and complicated political affairs. He couldn't let her go. Not now. They still needed her, the cultivated mind in which he so put much effort after he saw the spark of intelligence in her. He knew what the Hokage would  ask and his answer would be yes. He knew his child. She would never say no to him. She would go.

 

 


	2. Plans

_Valley Region: Hokage tower – Hokage's office_

* * *

 

"My lord, General Kato is far worse than we thought."

"What?! How could that be! He's been working with us and even made that incredible plan to win the war!"- Hashirama was stunned.

"Yes… well… My lord, General Kato has a long term sickness that shakes his body involuntarily and causes some mental blackouts. We think he has some mental damage after all the fights my lord."

"Impossible! Mental damage? He has been the finest tactical advisor we have had!"- Something was off. On occasions Tobirama thought his tactics had worked all too well to be real. This may be just the tip of the iceberg.

"That's correct my lord. I had the same question."

"And? What did he say?!"- Hashirama was very distressed. He really held this man in  high  esteem. It could not be that he was some kind of double spy or something of that order.

"He… he admitted he didn't make the last tactic plan. In fact, he admitted he was being helped the last 4 years in tactical planning and intel gathering."

"What?! By whom?!"

Tobirama waited for the worst. A high ranked enemy name or an organized bandit group.

"His firstborn my lord."

~ufff~ Hashirama breathed again. "Wait…"

"General Kato doesn't have any sons." said Tobirama frowning. Did General Kato think he could fool them so easily?

"Umm, no… Tobirama-sama, he doesn't. His firstborn is a female. A young woman by this date if I may add…"

"A girl?" - Said Hashirama, impressed.

"A woman?!"- Said Tobirama, confused.

"Y- Yes… my lord. I've had the pleasure of meeting her. At first I was also shocked, but then I recalled her to be applied as an anatomy pupil. It made some sense to me."

"Is that so?! Then we're saved! I mean, General Kato is not a traitor and he has a daughter that can serve in his place as a tactical advisor!"

"Really? So General Kato has an incurable and unpleasant disease and we are happy that his  _female_  child could be the author of many of our victories? What would the council say Hashirama?! That we're in debt to no less than a young woman who surpassed _our_ tactical advisors and us in the way?"

"Tobirama… You really are that misogynist?" -Hashirama didn't believe his brother to be so old fashioned.

"No! It’s not that! I don't care who he or she is, but the council _is_ very old-fashioned. There's no way they would let her join it as a tactical advisor even if she planned the last 10 years of tactics on her own. We cannot let them know. It could destroy all that we have achieved in political terms. It could start a civil-"

"Tobirama! Don't even think about that! I understand. We can't afford to have her as a tactical advisor but it's so unfair to leave things this way. General Kato has done a very good job in this war. We can't let him die in shadows with this awful disease. I wish…"

"Just keep quiet, anija. You're dismissed Mihara. Keep his mental damage a secret so it doesn't raise suspicion. If the council finds out we have been following the advice of a sick man..."

"Yes Tobirama-sama."

-o-

_Valley Region - Hokage house, several hours later (dinner time)_

* * *

 

The last information left a bad taste in both of the brothers’ mouth’s. When dinner time came and they reunited at the dinner table the ambient was a little more than tense. Hashirama hated when Tobirama closed his mind contemplating on the next step without consulting him. He wasn't gonna let him do it this time.

" _Tobirama?"_

" _Hmm?"_

" _I was thinking of a way-"_

_~ Earth's shuddering~_

" _Shit!" - Tobirama held his katana and dashed outside._

" _Was that an explosion?"- Hashirama reached for his weapon too and ran beside his brother until they reached the center of the town. Smoke…_

" _It seems so, quick!"_

-o-

_Valley Region – Council room, next day_

* * *

 

"They had the nerve to make a terrorist attack on our doorstep even after we won the war!"

"What happened with the intel? It never happened when General Kato was in charge of it!"

"How could it be?! It could happen again! People are scared!"

"Bring back General Kato! He can't retreat to the beach after the war! There's still so much to do!"

The council was very scared after yesterday’s explosion. It was a box full of gunpowder that was ignited in a watchtower near the village perimeter. The village security should have detected it but it was very clear they needed more control over security. Tobirama just bit his tongue. At this rate there wouldn't be too much time before the council knew of the state of General Kato, and then suspicion would raise. He couldn't allow it. All they have fought for would be destroyed in a day just because they relayed too much on one man. A man that wasn't sincere enough to tell them he was being helped by -

"Tobirama!"

"Anija!"

"The session is over. We need to talk."- Hashirama's expression was very serious. He meant it.

"Let's go to the office."

-o-

_Hokage's Office_

* * *

 

~sigh~ "People are too scared. We need to take measures."- Hashirama said calmly.

"I know. I already thought of something."

"Did you? And what is it?"

"We need that woman. She's the only thing that General Kato will leave after his passing and she has the experience so-"

"We should marry her!"- Hashirama was quick to interrupt. He was thinking the same before the explosion.

"Yes. I was thinking the same. We should get her near someone on the tactics or intel team so she can get access to everything without the Council noticing it-" Tobirama stopped talking when he saw Hashirama's cat expression.

"What? Do you have someone willing already?"

"Well, under more normal circumstances I would like to know her first but you see, I asked Mihara some details about her. He didn't know much but he said she was single, beautiful and reserved."

"And your point is?"- Tobirama didn't like how things were turning.

"It must be you!"

"Never!"- Tobirama interrupted quickly.

"Why not?! You don't have a sweetheart, do you?"

"N-n-"

"And that's the last thing we can do for General Kato! He's the last man in his family. Who will take care of his daughters and land when he dies?!"- Hashirama was in drama mode.

~angry grunt~

Tobirama was speechless. His brother was right. They owed the Kato family. They were the first to join them a long time ago when their father was still alive and were the most resourceful and least problematic of all the families. But still… He wouldn't know what to do with a wife, a woman… What if she were too problematic?

"Is that a yes? I will count it as an affirmative! You will look soo good as a husband!"

Hashirama was too happy way too quick. Was he planning this all along?

 


	3. Introductions

 

_ Coast Region – Kato household (3 days later) _

* * *

 

This had to be a joke.

She was past the age of marriage. In fact, she thought she was totally discarded as an option. But it was a suitable punishment for her meddling, she thought. How could her father agree to this?! Sending her away when he was obviously losing his grip on reality. Who would be in charge of the men and their training routine? Who would intercept the messenger birds passing by the zone with precious information? Nobody else knew how to use the whistle. And to a Senju… She could never escape them no matter how good she was in stealth. They were far too good. Even if she could escape, her father had already sent the answer. He knew the move they would make and sent it even before their letter arrived here. He even knew it would be a Senju! Damn him and his years of experience. But she was a good daughter. She would not bring shame to her family… to him.

She burnt the letter in the fireplace until the wax seal disappeared and went to her room to pack for the journey, her flame slowly losing it’s power.

 

By the time she was on the journey she was more like a corpse than herself.

At least she could bring Shimobashira with her. The white dire wolf was her only comfort and she was petting him while trying to ignore her sister's annoying jibber jabber with her maiden. They were here to make sure she dressed and acted like a proper lady.

The valley was undeniably beautiful. The meadow full of different flowers before the dark green forest was an outstanding contrast and the river reflected the sunlight in a way that made it very appealing since the valley didn't have the cold breeze like the coast. The coast… She would miss the beach and the caves. The sea carved in the cliffs… Even if they were nomads before, they had always remained near the sea.

 

_ Valley region – Konoha Barracks _

* * *

 

"They're here Tobirama! Let's go to greet them!"

"Stop it! You are the only one happy about this!"

"Why are you so grumpy Tobirama?! I got you a cute and collected woman to meet. Or is it you prefer…other company?"

This time he didn't even answer with sounds and just limited himself to a scowl. Hashirama has been annoying him since the acceptance letter arrived two weeks ago. He had scowled so much lately that his forehead hurt. But the day had come and he was trying to put on a blank face as if he didn't care. It had worked putting aside the moments Hashirama annoyed him. He just kept on with his work and ignored Hashirama's presence.

"Tobirama, you'll have to meet her sooner or later. And I recommend sooner since you will be marrying her. I'm sure you don't want an unknown in your room…or in your bed, don't you?"- Hashirama put his cat face trying to break some of Tobirama's ice walls, hoping he had some blood in his veins. He seemed stressed. The kind of stress only a woman's soft touch could take away.

~sigh~

Well at least he made a sound.

"I'll go after the barracks's water supply is functional."

"Yes!"- Hashirama congratulated himself and walked outside the barracks directly to his house but not without screaming some recommendations to Tobirama.

"Remember to get a shower and wear some perfume Tobi! Women don't like smelly, grumpy cats!" – He avoided a wood piece and got himself out hastily.

 

_ Hokage house – Male baths (five hours later) _

* * *

 

The shower wasn't pleasant. He could hear Hashirama laugh fondly, like he knew these people all his life. Sometimes he envied his easiness to befriend people. His marriage had been arranged too, for the good of an alliance, but he and Mito seemed truly in love a year after their union. He wondered if he could do that.- No - He knew he could not let another enter his routine so easily. He would make that woman very miserable.

By the time he headed to the room it was late into the night and he could hear the noisy conversation in which they were engaged. When he opened the rice paper door Hashirama and Mito were sharing sake with two strange women. One laughing resoundingly and the other more reserved but smiling anyway. The noisy one, he thought, should be the General's daughter. His stomach clenched uncomfortably. She was with no doubt beautiful. Impossibly long and straight shiny brown hair, slightly tanned skin, a juvenile heart shaped face with big dark hazel eyes, just like her father , with large dark eyelashes that fluttered quickly when she noticed his presence. She was noisy as hell. He put the blank face and nodded in acknowledgement to the guests.

"Oh! Tobirama you deigned to appear!"- Hashirama was very happy and you could deduce this wasn't the first sake bottle they shared.

"Brother, you've kept our guests waiting! How rude of you!"- Mito scolded him and although she was drinking she looked far more composed than Hashirama.

"I apologize." – he nodded again but said nothing, waiting for the rest to introduce themselves.

And then, the dark haired woman broke into a noisier laugh than before.

"Ajem, ajem! I'm sorry if I annoyed you my lord. It's just you sounded so much like her."

"Her?"- Tobirama was already a foot out of the room. He obviously made a face of disgust when the woman laughed because she, as drunk as she was, noted it.

"Ah… You thought I was your fiancée? I'm honored my lord. You are a very handsome man but the lucky girl is my older sister."- She said with a suggestive look as she scanned him without shame.

"And she is…?"

"In the room assigned to her, until you share yours my lord. Yuu can lead you if you wish."

The dark purple haired maiden was standing as the door of the opposite side of which Tobirama had entered opened.

"That will not be necessary."

"M-my lady! I'm… the lord Hokage invited us to drink…."- the maiden seemed suddenly stressed, as if she were being caught doing something wrong. The woman ignored her as she looked around the room with a serious expression.

"She's more upset than me."- Tobirama thought her square face and high cheeks gave her a stern semblance. She also had slightly tanned skin but that was the only thing she shared with her sister. She had a snub nose where her sister's was straight edged, her hair reached a little more than shoulder length and held a lighter shade of brown that almost matched her tan skin and a small mouth with fuller lips where her sister's were wider and more shaped. But what caught Tobirama attention the most were her eyes. Not like her father's dark and friendly. These were deep turquoise predator eyes and were silently defying him. He had seen them before but he didn't quite remember where. She too was very beautiful in an entirely different way.

…..

The short embarrassing pause was interrupted quickly by Hashirama.

"Oh! Mako-chan you came back! Are u feeling better? You came just in time. It must be the connection between you guys!"

"The noise stopped. I supposed someone came in."- she said quietly, examining Hashirama but making it sound like the most obvious thing in the world.

She nodded to acknowledge everyone and before Tobirama or anyone could reply she closed the door and turned away.

…

"Well, she's kind of intense isn't she? Hahahahahahaha!"- Hashirama broke the awkward moment with his drunk laugh as he motioned for Tobirama to come sit by his side. An offer Tobirama impolitely rejected as he turned around and led his steps to the kitchen. He was starving.

 

_ Hokage household – kitchen's yard _

* * *

 

At least they had quinces which were hard to obtain on the coast. But here it seemed they had a tree. And that was enough to make her life a little less bitter.

She knew that guy. He was the Hokage's brother and was quite proficient with katanas and a long bow and… That was all she knew about him.

Her father always praised the way he moved on the battlefield and it seemed they worked together on the tactics and strategy but he never gave any details and she hadn't minded it in the past. Now... She was a little insecure. Even afraid perhaps… She had hoped the Senju she was assigned to to be older. Maybe with a dead wife and grown children so she could persuade him to pity her and not ask anything of her. Things were horribly wrong now.

~sigh~ 

This man was a highly praised bachelor. Young and strong. A male in the prime of his life who most surely wanted children and an active bedroom life. She didn't want him or what came with him. She didn't even know why they gave her to him. There must be a good number of younger virgins waiting for him and…. No. She knew why the Hokage did it. He was his right hand and was immersed in the strategies and tactics unit. ~sigh~ This was far worse than pity.

"Is that quince too dry? Your sighing reverberates in the kitchen."

She must have been very immersed in her thoughts because she didn't hear him approaching. Or he was too stealthy…Or both.

She ignored him and continued to eat her fruit looking at the tree roots as if they were going to bloom any time soon.

He just sat at the other end of the bench eating with a bowl of miso soup in one hand and smoked fish in the other.

They were like an old married couple brooding in silence.

"Tobira- Hey! There you are! I knew you would get along!"

Tobirama finished his food, took the quince heart from her hand while ignoring her glance, nodded in her direction and retired through the kitchen to his room with Hashirama on his heels wearing a confused expression.

"So… What do you think? Isn't she beautiful? Although she doesn't speak too much. But that doesn't bother you. Quite the contrary, hmmm?"

"Maybe. But shyness isn't the reason for her lack of dialogue."

"C'mon Tobirama! I know you liked her! You didn't make that disgusted face and you looked soo cute eating together in the moonlight!"

"It's not like I have an opinion in this. We need her. The end."

Hashirama put an arm on Tobirama's shoulders and put his face so close Tobirama could smell the sake.

"Aww… Don't be so shy Tobi! You didn't take your eyes off her in the room! I could even see some kind of realization crossing your face."

~sigh~ "Maybe… She was just so…"

Hashirama's eyes glowed in hopes that his brother would have a crush at first sight, just like him, but Tobirama was far from that. And the only thing that came to his mind was-

"Golden?"

* * *

 

Please review what you liked or disliked!


	4. Preparations

_Valley region | Hokage house_

* * *

 

A week. She would be tied in a week.

Ever since she arrived her mind could only think of a way out of this situation. Even when she knew it wasn't possible. It could be infertility. Nonetheless it could only be tested if she tried so obviously not. Maybe that she was utterly useless in home chores but they had plenty of staff to do that. She could be annoying but how? She would just achieve to annoy the staff. Maybe she could destroy something precious? But the war had destroyed almost every family relics. Men valued just their swords and to destroy a sword… she would need a blacksmith. Another failed idea.

This… man was as stubborn as herself.  None of them wanted to bring down the wall. Thus, in the last week they just watched each other from behind and let others to prepare the wedding arrangements.

It was a nice staying until the head maid of the Senju house visited her. The Senju brothers didn't have surviving parents, thus the head maid has been taking care of the household until Hashirama married Mito. However, Mito delegated all but the administrative chores to her.

"Well, well… What do we have here?" The head maid had walked in with obvious disdain on her face.

Makoto simply looked up at the older woman  to let her know she had her attention.

"Ah, don't you have manners to greet a person when you first see them?"

"Excuse me lady maid, but I don't know how to refer to you. In my household we didn't have someone like you."

"Someone like me?" The woman frowned. It was obvious that didn't make her happy.

"A head maid. It was my mother who played that role."

"Ah… I see… Let's see what your mother taught you." She sat down in front of her and gave her a false smile.

"What do you wish to know?" She was being as polite as possible. For her standards.

"Your skills my dear." She had brought a clipboard with paper, brush and ink and was poised to write.

"I've been taught the art of war, especially strategy and tactics. I'm also good in administration and arithmetics and I was in charge of our household's supplying-"

"Administration is a good thing. But Lady Mito already does that here." She interrupted her with an irritated look "And the rest of your 'capabilities' are very unsuitable for a woman. What would you do with them? Improve our cleaning rhythm? Ah, please!"

"Also, I have learnt the ways of medicine. Bones and war wounds-"

"Well… That's more useful but since the big war is decreasing at fast rate I think we wouldn't need your services in that area… my lady."

That was all the information she would give to this woman. She clearly disliked her and she wouldn't let her stomp all over her.

"You see, after the war we retreat to lick our wounds and replenish our numbers in hopes war never comes to us again. But maybe for someone like you… It would be better if it just stayed as it was…"

"No one sane would want that!" Makoto spat with controlled anger. What was wrong with this woman?

"At least you have some sanity in you." She stood up and started to inspect the room she was staying in. "As I was saying… In these times a man needs a woman like me- capable in sustaining their home and children. You? You are just a trophy that will not last long."

She hadn't wanted to last at all, but she bit her tongue. Her staying here would be worse if she annoyed the wrong servant.

"Nothing to say, huh? At least you know how to remain quiet. But if you keep glaring at me or your husband or any man, I will slap that pretty face every morning from now on, understand?"

She didn't know she was glaring. At this point it was like her normal expression and as much as she would like to make her eat her words, she choose to look at the floor. This wasn't her territory. She could not win this battle… not now.

"I'll take that as a yes. I hope you to be pretty good in childbearing, since you have nothing else to offer."

When the head maid left she just wanted to destroy everything in her room. How dare she?

This was exactly what she feared. The pretty mirror case for the jewelry her mother gave her was no more than a mess after it hit the wall.

 

_Hokage's office_

* * *

 

"You can come in Sonja-chan."

"Hashirama-dono, I… got to know the girl."

Hashirama instantly left what he was doing "So? What did you find out?"

"Where did you find that girl?! Putting it simply, she is totally unsuitable and useless. She cannot do anything. No cooking or washing or mending clothes or babysitting. Is her lineage that amazing that we can overlook this in favor of the offspring she can produce?"

Sonja-chan had been their wet nurse and caretaker since their mother died giving birth. She was a strict woman but loving when it came to them. He trusted her judgment but Mito had already told him she was a little unnerving with the housekeeping thing and with women in general. Apparently, she favored the males.

"Sonja-chan… Don't be like that." He let out a small sigh. It seemed he would have to unfold the truth behind this arranged marriage.

"The real reason for the marriage is… We aren't in need of that kind of skill from her. We settled this marriage in order to get her an easy access to the strategy and intel unit. If she and Tobirama put their differences aside and produced an offspring it would be convenient but it's not the main reason."

Sonja was shocked. It wasn't common for a woman to put their hands in those kinds of issues. That would give her far too much power and she had threatened her. This wasn't good.

"But Hashirama-dono, why her?! We have plenty of good and smart men that would be glad to work on that."

"She's General Kato's first born and the one who planned the last move that gave us victory and ended the war Sonja-chan. Treat her with respect and keep it a secret. You witnessed the last terrorist attack near the town. We need her intel and brains here."

"You know the Council will not overlook this Hashirama-dono." She said with a hard expression.

"Yes. That's exactly why we're marrying her to Tobirama instead of putting her directly under our command as part of our troops." He said with an equally stern voice and expression. He knew Sonja didn't like it since she was old-fashioned but he needed her cooperation on this.

"I understand. She better be worth all this trouble."

"She had been worth it up till now."

"I see. Well she just told me about her education. She spoke about the strategic thing and some administration capabilities. She also said she had medical training, though just in bones and major wounds. Nothing like midwife labor or herbal knowledge as a normal woman would have."

"Well Mihara already told us about that. She didn't mention anything else? Her hobbies or what she likes to eat?"

"I hadn't thought you wanted that kind of information boy. I was testing her potential as a wife." She huffed. He should have told her who was that girl before! Now she had mistreated her and she wouldn't give her any information. Why did he want to know that kind of stuff? It was just useless information.

He eyed her for a bit before lending an extended sigh. "Sonja-chan, you didn't threaten her already, did you?"

"I'll send a younger maid to befriend her."

"Okay… I'll leave it in your capable hands."

She nodded and went to take her leave but then she remembered something.

"What does Tobirama think of this?"

"He accepted."

"Of course he did." She exited.

 

_Konoha's Library_

* * *

 

This woman was, by far, the weirdest he had known. She didn't get annoyed at, talked to or even looked him. He didn't know how to interpret her behavior. Was she ignoring him and the whole marriage issue? In certain light he was doing the same but a small voice in the back of his mind was telling him it wasn't a good thing to do. Leaving the marriage aside, they would be working together in political and battle administration. As co-workers they should be able to develop some kind of a sane relationship. But when you have to share the same bed with that co-worker everything becomes complicated.

Tobirama was in a predicament. He didn't want to be the first one to break the silence. That would just make him look like he was more interested in the matter than she was herself. However, Hashirama was constantly reminding him he knew nothing of her and in some point of this year he would have to consummate the marriage. Sleeping with a stranger, that word put the shivers down his spine and disgust in his stomach.

She was the daughter of a well named General. That same General was also known to hold pretty questionable relations with some free sword (Ronin) smugglers and other underground shadows in order to provide some decent intel. The same General that had confirmed her help in the planning. Why not in intel gathering too? Tobirama wanted to at least confirm it in some shape or form so he could take measures or not so many. He was a cautious man.

So here he was, spying on her in the library, pretending to read some administration record in a place he knew was out of her vision. He had seen her entering this place on several occasions. She had seemed very pleased with the large collection of anatomy treaties.

For a high ranked General’s daughter she dressed quite humbly. In fact, she dressed like a man.

She never wore kimonos, just a haori decorated in different shadows of white and green with golden edges but under that she wore plain white linen pants and a high neck shirt decorated in pale brocade with canvas slippers. That kind of pleased him. At least she wasn't extravagant. He wasn't sure if she was wearing make-up and her hair wasn't as long as her sister's but it was always tied up so it didn't bother her while reading. Her nails were short which indicated she wasn't spoiled although it has been almost three years without a big battle.

"How much longer are you going to stalk me?"

Tobirama didn't see that coming. He kept his head down pretending he hadn't heard what she had said.

"This is the third day. Do you need something?"

He had clearly underestimated her. In the beginning Tobirama assumed that, like most of women, she had not been trained in advanced combat. Even if she knew theory it wasn't the same. But as he looked at her better (from afar),  how she moved, her apparently acute senses and how she looked for any quick escape route when she went anywhere he was sure she had been trained more than just a beginner. So, now he was going to sleep with a trained stranger.

"You're misinterpreting."

He couldn't accept he was stalking her. He was the Hokage's second hand. He didn't stalk people, not in the safety of his village. He was just compiling information. She just took a book and abandoned the building in direction of Hashirama's house.

 

"You were right. He arrived there a while after me, three days in a row."

"I told you sister! He _is_ interested in you after all!"

"That means nothing. The library is a public place, anyone can enter and do some reading."

"What?! No! He has been following you for the past five days! I've seen him!"

"Did he? Maybe it's because we live in the same place and do similar things."

"I thought you were smarter."

"And I know you aren't."

"You are impossible you know?!"

"You may go to your room now."

"Huummm!" Her sister made an angry noise and closed the rice paper door as hard as she could.

She had to admit she felt curiosity but her statement was true. Her sister's intent to drive her to him was futile. She already knew what she needed of him in order to work together. She knew his strategic preferences from years of mail interchange. Knew his combat style and even some of his gaps since that time she had to fight him over a misunderstanding (and he obviously didn't recognize her since she was wearing a keffiyeh). He relayed just on logic and she respected him for that. She thought the same way. But one thing was to know the warrior and another was to know the man. She wasn't sure if she wanted the last one.

_Konoha's library_

* * *

 

He was ready to leave when he heard her. It was easy since she was stomping her way through the place.

"There you are!"

She seemed exasperated and was noisy even when she pretended to be quiet. He made the decision to give her a little of his attention by inviting her to sit in front of him.

"Yes, we need to talk. Look, you and my sister are rock hard headed and won't accept the fact that you are going to be a couple! I know I can't force you to love each other but you should get to know her at least!"

Well this was information falling from the sky. He was too prideful to ask but now, she was giving it for free. He wasn't one to look a gift horse in the mouth. He looked at her with his undivided attention.

"At least you seem interested. My sister… Well, is there something special you want to know about her?"

Tobirama wanted to know a lot of information, but asking too much right now would give the wrong impression. Like he wanted something more with her, which he didn't. That being kept in mind, he started with the one that worried him the most.

"Does she have combat training?" He asked with a blank face and crossed his arms.

"What? I thought you… Oh… Well, yes. In our clan all the women are trained in hand to hand combat, at least enough to free themselves and run."

"That was not my question. I'm asking about advanced training."

She remembered her sister narrating an occasion in which she had a fight with the white Senju brother because some refugees were mistaken for spies. It seemed he didn't remember, or it was possible that he never knew it was her.

"Umm, yes… But that is something only she could answer."

"What kind of training?"

"Hey! I came here on good terms! Now you are just being rude!"

Tobirama huffed. He wasn't being rude. He just wanted objective and concise information.

"I… If she is in fact a warrior, that would change things."

"Why?!" She looked appalled.

"Because that makes her more dangerous than I thought. I would have to take more measures."

Her face paused, her mouth dropped open while her eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. "What kind of measures?! She means no harm to you! She would never do anything our father wouldn't! You have our full loyalty!"

This woman, in contrast with her sister, was an open book. Tobirama saw she really believed what she was saying, but he needed more details in order to be calmer.

"Then tell me, what kind of training has she endured? What kind of weapon she favors, aside from tactical planning. Which role had she assumed during war?"

She wanted her sister to have a happy marriage. For her to accomplish that she would have to tell him all she knew. She sighed. It was for Makoto's future. She would understand, eventually.

 

_Hokage's Office_

* * *

 

"Oh, Tobirama! I thought you had one free hour till the reunion."

Tobirama closed the door and secured it. He spun around to question his older

brother, "Hashirama…You knew?!"

He didn't like the accusatory tone in Tobirama's voice… "Knew what?"

"Of her! Of Kokuyo! You did this on purpose?!"

"What? What do you know of Kokuyo? Did someone find his lair?"

"No!" Tobirama never yelled, he was pissed. "Then you didn't know?"

"Of what!? You are very agitated. Come, sit."

He sat rigidly. Was it actually true? When that girl told him that the general's daughter was in fact the most wanted intel smuggler, he just blew up in anger. It made sense, the reason all their efforts to find him were futile.

"Now what were you saying about Kokuyo?"

Tobirama looked at him for a while, calculating his words. It was starting to make Hashirama nervous.

"Anija, do you know who this woman is?

"Isn't she General Kato's daughter?"

"Aside from that. Do you know who taught her?"

"I assumed it was her father. Could it be Kokuyo?! You think she's covering him?"

"Her sister just told me. Yes,she is and… Kokuyo isn't a man… but herself."

Silence reigned in the room as Hirashima tried to absorb the new information.

"Makoto-chan is the coldblooded smuggler that sold us enemy intel?!"

"We have yet to confirm it."

"Tobirama, are you inventing this to cancel your wedding? It's in two days and it is very child-"

"Ngg-No!" He scrubbed his face roughly as he let out a sigh. "If this is true… That could fix our intel problem but could arise problems with our allies. We have to know now! If I marry her and it proves to be true they can accuse us of complot!"

"I know! But how? She's not going to just come here and confess."

"When I fought him-her in that misunderstanding I scratched him-her on the right side of his-her thorax…"

"If she was trained to fight that will not be enough, anyone could have that scar!"

"No. It was the sword of the thunder god. The scar would be colored light yellow from the poison it holds. Also, it would explain how he-she survived it. She knows I use that kind of poison."

"And how are you going to look there before the wedding? Huh?!"

"We can have a maid to look for it!"

"The sisters are very secluded. They bathe and dress together, they don't allow anyone in."

"You already asked?!"

"I wanted to know small things about her so I could tell you!"

"You… stupid bird brain!" Tobirama let out a long suffering sigh. "Even if I marry her if we don't… consummate it I can null it. I just have to get access-"

"Tobirama! You are talking as if she were a thing! She is a woman for God's sake!"

"A dangerous one if it's true!"

"Maybe. But then again, you are also dangerous to her well-being. You picked a fight with her after all."

"I was in charge of the security. It was in my right to doubt and we haven't confirmed the identity yet."

"Well, you know, not all the suitors wait until the wedding night to 'get to know' each other…" Hashirama said as a sultry comment.

Tobirama frowned deeply. "I'm not… That is _not_ going to work on her!"

"How do you know? Have you tried? You seem to be in need of some action." Hashirama was doing that suggesting thing with his eyebrows, raising them up and down rapidly. Now he was making fun of him.

"Okay! Don't get mad Tobirama! Your face is tomato red! Even if she _is_ the face behind that black scarf no one else would have to know. We can keep it a secret and you win a wife that can take care of herself… and has a nicely toned body."

"Anija! We are hiding too many things for this woman! If someone finds out there will be too many dirty clothes on our hands."

"Tobirama, I think you are overreacting. She just smuggled information, not people, and fought on our side of the war-"

"And a lot of people disappeared under his-her footsteps."

"Bad people. Remember they were double spies. You're so ungrateful Tobirama… Someone has to get their hands dirty. If this woman is in fact Kokuyo, then she is an absolute genius!"

Tobirama couldn't reply to that and he had found himself in this position too often since this woman arrived. He didn't like it but Hashirama was right. In these times it was convenient to keep her by their side, so he would have to wait until the wedding night.

 

 


	5. Awkward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, sorry for the long pause, i'll update some action by the weekend in compensation ^^, please review!
> 
> All naruto characters belong to kishimoto.

_Valley region | Hokage residence: Saloon_

* * *

 

The marriage ceremony had ended. A cocktail was being held in the couple's honor afterwards but only a few guests from the prestigious clans were enjoying the cocktail.

The ceremony had been quite modest and low profile. Very much like how they had been asked by both parties (although they chose it separately and without consulting each other). It was rather awkward, even for an arranged marriage.

Most of the guests thought the serious semblance of the bride was due to her father's absence who had been trapped in a thunderstorm and couldn't make the trip, or so they had heard. The groom's stoic face had always been his habitual expression so no one questioned it.

For Tobirama, though, he was the definition of stoicism. He still felt uneasy inside and he was struggling not to show it. He knew she didn't want this, and while he didn't enjoy social encounters, he wished for this one to never end.

The knot in the pit of his stomach didn't allow him to taste the food properly. Then the fact that he had to receive congratulations at her side from people he didn't know didn't do him any favors. He just wanted to dip his head in sake and wake when everything was done.

During the course of the war he had engaged in some intimate encounters with some women, but even then he preferred other activities. His thoughts on women were; they were always complicated, with the tendency to ask for too much time and dedication. Then to top it all off he was required to confirm her alias while in the course of said encounters.

What would he do if she was Kokuyo?

Hashirama had insisted he must keep it to himself or make some kind of truce with her. Nothing too difficult, but what happened after that? Would she attack him? Deny it or just shrug it off? Would she let him touch her at all? Hashirama had just laughed when he expressed his concern, "You just have to know how to kindle her fire, little brother. Maybe her sister can offer you some details." That was the last time he would comment on the subject. He wasn't a prude, but those kinds of details were private.

It was an arranged marriage but he made an oath and because of that he owed her respect.

Tobirama was so lost in his worries that he didn't notice that all the guests had left and/or were out drinking their lives away in the gardens. Makoto had tugged on his sleeve after a moment when he didn't answer her call.

When he came too she was already half the way through the corridor, dragging the Uchikake dress (which she had been forced to wear) with grace. Hashirama winked at him over his shoulder as he swayed with his own wife. Tobirama rolled his eyes at his intoxicated brother before following after his newly made spouse.

 

_Hokage residence: Tobirama's Room_

* * *

 

His room had been changed dramatically with the zen double sized bed. He used to sleep on a futon he stored during the day. They must have had it changed while they were at the ceremony because it wasn't there when he had left. The bed had a nice dark wood platform and white conventional sheets. It looked quite comfortable.

She had walked into the middle of the room and was beginning to remove several layers of cloth. It was a shame though, he did have to admit that she looked breathtaking in red and gold.

Her voluminous hair had been tamed, golden brown silk that ran softly to her chest framing her face rather well. Fire red painted lips matched her dress and wild turquoise eyes outlined in black to highlight them.

It was supposed to be his chore to remove her clothes, but the word uncomfortable was lacking in description for what he felt at that moment. He had intended to shrug it off and then remove his own clothes but he just managed to get a grip on his haori. He was used to women coming to him, not him to them.

By the time he finally removed his haori she was already in her hadajuban, but instead of waiting for him to make the first move she opened the blanket, knelt down on the bed and looked at him.

His eyes narrowed, what did she intend to do?

She didn't look nervous and to take off the Uchikake by herself, that was a bold move. It seemed even she wasn't untouched, not that it actually mattered to him.

"I know my sister told you."

"Are you confessing?"

"Have I committed a crime?"

"Don't play fool with me, prove your statement, now."

She smiled under her eyelashes, "Ohh? If you want me naked you will have to be gentler, you know?"

She was playing with him but he wasn't going to take it. She could be hiding the smuggler under this lie. She clearly knew he was talking about the scar. Then it was true she was involved with Kokuyo. He slowly began to close the distance and her playful smile disappeared.

"I know you don't make void threats. I'm sorry I broke your fingers but they seem to be perfectly healed now."

"He could have told you that." He didn't stop his movement.

"I'm not bedding you tonight."

"That's not in your hands to decide, it's my right-"

"Are you going to force me?" The tone in her question was meant to be a challenge, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "Look, I know it's my duty to submit myself to you and I will not stain the name of my father, but I would like some time to be acquainted with you." She breathed those words with the same blank look she had worn all day. Was that glint of playfulness in her expression her true nature?

Tobirama didn't have a clue on how to get her to show him her scar (if she in fact had it). She had said that if he wished she would consummate the marriage tonight, but that held the promise of a dark future and a very tense relationship. On the other hand, she was asking for time. For what? He did not believe she needed that familiarization. He thought she would use it to warn the smuggler of their movements, or to flee.

He held his ground. They held a long staring contest.

A sigh drew from her burning lips. "Alright, I'll show you. We are allies and shouldn't keep secrets after all." She moved to remove her hadajuban. She didn't have a clue on how he would react. However, she was ready to fight with her bare hands if necessary. She pulled her right arm out of the thin nightgown to expose her right breast.

Tobirama's eyes grew wide. Right there, under her breast, sat the scar. It was thin with an unusual yellow color almost diffused into her natural skin tone. He made a move to touch it but she immediately covered it. Pulling her arm back, rearranging the nightgown, then waited for his reaction.

She was the smuggler.

He was kind of relieved. It brought things to a more personal level.

His mind began to wander too quickly. He wanted to ask her so many things. How did she do the smuggling? Why did she do it at all? Her contacts, how she kept her secret for so long, was she completely and utterly devoted to Konoha and peace? Her sister had already told him they were but he needed to hear it from her.

Makoto saw all the questions in his eyes. His expression went from astonishment to confusion in under second. She wasn't used to seeing so many expressions on him. It amused her in some way. He clenched his fist and she thought he was going to attack her.

She flinched back and quickly clambered up into a defensive stance on top of the bed. Instead of attacking he made a deep exhalation and exited the room swiftly.

She wasn't going to chase him, though. She simply shrugged it off and moved to lay in the bed until sleep would come to her.

It had honestly not been as bad as she expected, considering it was the first time they had exchanged more than three sentences.

 

Tobirama didn't know what to do.

He had played out all the possible outcomes in his mind and prepared a course of action for each one of them. But when the moment come, he couldn't touch a single hair on her head.

He was trembling slightly from impotence, cold sweat on his forehead. He needed some air and time to think alone. He ran his hands through his hair on his way to Hashirama's inner garden.

In his head he had planned on grabbing her by the hem of her nightgown and interrogating her all night if it were necessary, until he was content with her sources and motives. In reality she looked way too fragile and soft as the faint light of the paper lamp bathed her exposed skin. He was flesh and blood after all. Of course he looked the scar but he also noticed the small firm breast and the equally small pink areola decorating it. He only remembered he was staring at a warrior when he noticed the toned shoulder and the way her sternomastoid ran furiously in her neck. It was strength and femininity all together that took him (and his hormones) completely by surprise, and he found himself too attracted to her for his liking.

How should he proceed? He scrubbed his hand over his face, frustrated. He felt as if he were drowning in a glass of water. It would have been easier if Kokuyo were a man. No, he was being unfair. For what he had seen, and for a woman, she was almost as practical as he was. She had offered low resistance and precise answers (except for the flirtatious joke). He chastised himself for forty minutes before Hashirama took notice of him seated on a bank beside his largest bonsai when he was on his way back to his room.

"Tobirama? What are you doing here? You should be enjoying your new wife!" Hashirama asked in what seemed to be an angry tone attenuated by alcohol.

"This is all your fault." He huffed, he needed someone to vent his anger and frustration.

"Are you having problems in _that_ department? Cause I told you to make a halt at the brothel before-"

"Stop it Hashirama!" He nearly shouted.

Hashirama was surprised. His brother only called him by name when he was truly enraged. This had happened only twice in the past.

"She _is_ …" He lowered his voice. "She has the scar."

"Then it's true." Hashirama suddenly came to his senses.

Tobirama gave a flat nod.

"What did you-"

"Nothing."

"Nothing? Why? I thought you had a plan?"

"I _had_ a plan, but she…" Tobirama didn't know how to explain his mesmerized reaction to her.

"She…?"

Red began to climb from his neck to his face. It was much too dark for Hashirama to notice it from that distance, but he knew that expression and was very amused to see it on his usually stoic brother.

"She got under your skin so easily? Pfft… I think you should've experienced more of the company and ways of ladies little brother."

"She didn't do anything." He hissed.

"That's even worse! She dismantled your carefully planned course of action and she wasn't even trying!"

"Anija, lower your voice!"

"No. Now you listen green sprout. You are a twenty-eight year old married man and you have to learn how to treat a woman. First-"

"Hashirama it's four in the morning! Stop screaming and come here!" Mito shouted from their shared room.

"But… Woman, my brother needs my knowledge-"

"And you'll be in need of a new wife if I have to wait another second."

Hashirama shrugged and scurried to his room as quickly as a drunk man could.

"Pff." He snorted. He wouldn't let her treat him like that. Well she apparently already knew her place, so it was one less discussion.

He finally decided he will go through it as always- ignoring needless interaction. Once he made his decision he went back to _his_ room and decided he wanted _his_ futon back, but that could be arranged in the morning when he no longer had a sleeping wife in 'their' bed. For now he would settle for sharing oxygen and space, while secretly enjoying her body heat and soft smell.

 

She wasn't in bed when he woke up the next morning.

He dressed and a maiden informed him that his wife was taking her breakfast. He began with the arrangements:

"Take the double sized bed into to the next room."

"To your spare room my Lord?"

"Yes. From now on it will be my wife's."

"As you wish my Lord."

 

_Hokage's residence: Dojo_

* * *

 

Tobirama felt like himself again. Sweat and sword polisher in his nose, nothing like a fast cardio workout to begin the day. He was in the last stretching stage when Hashirama interrupted, disgust written on his face.

"What do you think you are doing Tobirama!?" His shrill yell confirmed the anger.

"I'm training."

Hashirama grabbed a fistfull of the hem of his shirt, "You are dishonoring your wife." Hashirama hissed to his face.

"We are not comfortable with each other. I placed her beside my room, what's the problem?" He freed himself from his brother’s tight grip and began to clean and sheathe his sword.

"You haven't even tried to get to know her. Did you even ask her?" Hashirama threw his hands up, "Aaargh, I don't even want to ask about the consummation."

"No, but I assure you she will agree."

"Because she made an oath! Maybe she wants a normal relationship. Why are you distancing her from you?"

"She is the one pushing me away. And you are putting too much effort into this to have it fulfil your ideal family concept. This marriage wasn't made for that." Tobirama let out in a hurtful tone.

"You don't need to remind me of that. I thought it would be good for you." Hashirama spoke the last sentence with a sad tone and withdrew himself.

He knew Hashirama was being touchy, but that didn't change the guilt that plagued him. He would overcome it.

He decided to wash down the bitter taste in his mouth with some breakfast.

 

A maid was removing the plates from the breakfast table. Mito was with Makoto but was already leaving.

Tobirama greeted her and he made a motion for Makoto, demanding that she would stay. She nodded and sat back down while Tobirama took Mito's place and waited for the maid to bring his habitual breakfast.

She was admiring the gardens which were exposed when the rice paper door was opened. She looked bored.

"You don't seem upset." Tobirama began casually.

"Should I be?" She said in a lazy tone.

"Well, my brother is. Did he tell you about the bedroom change? Or perhaps Mito?"

"Yes, she did. She seemed quite appalled."

"Are you?"

"No. In fact, I'm quite pleased to have some privacy. It has been a considerate act from you to accept my petition."

"Are you thanking me?"

"Yeah, why?"

She came and went from formal to informal dialogue. Sometimes her informality grated against his nerves since he wasn't used to informal relations with women. He dismissed the issue this time.

"I thought you would be unhappy since I didn't tell you before the change of plans."

She pursed her lips slightly, "I'm only here as an advisor, the final decision falls on your shoulders."

Formal speech came back. He wondered how long she could wear the formal mask in front of him. His breakfast arrived and he sipped his tea quickly.

"The council meeting is planned for around four in the afternoon. I'll go to my room when it ends. Be alert."

She picked up the underlying message and left after nodding. Real problems were beginning.

 


	6. Values

Their rooms were divided by a rice paper door but were a part of the same unit, the same tatami mats decorating the floors. She really didn't need to pay much attention to notice when he entered his room. He walked with heavy steps. It must have been a complicated reunion.

She knocked on the wooden panes that held the paper door together, asking for access.

"You may enter."

She slid the door open revealing her actual room and part of the bed that last night was in his room, with a massive white dire wolf resting peacefully.

The animal stared at him at full attention, upright ears and wide yellow eyes. The big wolf cocked his head, sniffed the air and then went back to sleep.

"He knows your smell, it was in the bed."

He looked her with apprehension.

"He will not attack you, I promise. I have trained him since he was a pup."

"Unless you order him to do so?" It was more a statement than a question.

"In theory, yes."

He settled for a sigh, "I don't know how I accepted this." He rubbed between his eyes. He had heard rumors of the big wolf that came with the coast people, but never thought it would be THAT big. But then he remembered that big cat Kokuyo mounted. Maybe she smuggled exotic animals too?

"Do you wish for some tea?" She brought the tea set, like a good wife would. But honestly, she had never used one of those before.

He nodded and began displaying maps and operative reports over his desk and the floor.

"The explosions (there had been two more displayed events and four explosives detected before they were lighted up in two weeks) left evidence that we need more protection. We assigned the design and supervision of a new perimeter wall to the Nara Clan. The Sarutobi and the Senju Clans will build it, followed by the addition of a patrol and public safety system operated by the Uchihas."

"Just the Uchihas? Isn't too much responsibility? People will blame them if something else happens."

"They assumed the risk it takes and it will incidentally appease the unilateral ego war they have with everyone else."

She shrugged, it wasn't a good idea but she didn't have the last word. Uchihas were too isolated and it seemed they didn't want to change that, just like Hyugas.

"In the explosion department, do you have any whispers?"

She nodded and went back to her room. She brought back a slender parchment sealed with an intricate set of threads. She pulled a particular one and the parchment unfolded itself. She placed it over the maps for him to read. It contained a map of Konoha and the nearest settlements drawn freehand, marked with points all interconnected by red and purple tinted lines. Each point held a paper pasted aside (copies of the message's content). Each point was the interception place and had a name.

"This attack was conceived by two clans  to deceive attention and hit another target. We have some notes but they are encrypted. We haven't had luck in the interrogations either even with "persuasion". I'll fetch the messages so you can read them tomorrow. Maybe you know something we don't."

He nodded. The amount of information in the parchment was so precise it scared him. He was conscious, Hashirama had been warned of at least three of the four blocked explosions but didn't think she was already working on intel before the wedding.

"The rest of the information is in the reports and maps but surely you are aware of it. The Council wasted all of our time arguing about clan integration, power, and influence balance."

"I see. I'll begin studying the maps."

An hour later he finished his analysis on the parchment but she was nose deep in the reports. He was too hungry to wait for her and decided not to interrupt, he just left to the kitchen.

He felt like an ass for having judged her the way he did. Before he looked at the scar he was convinced her father had exaggerated her dotes in order to get her a good marriage. That she was just one of Kokuyo's informants and in resume, that she wouldn't be as useful as Hashirama assured. She had changed that in an hour and he kind of saw why Hashirama was so annoyed with him.

He filled his plate with today's menu and accepted the exported tea from a young maid some lord had gifted them on their wedding. It was actually tasty so he ordered some for his wife in consideration for her efforts. He should have ordered food too, but that would be weird for him to do. They were sleeping separately after all.

 

_Tobirama's room_

* * *

 

Tobirama had left thirty minutes ago and Shimo scratched at the door lightly asking to be with her. She had denied him at the beginning, but his whining ended up convincing her.

A maid knocked on the door offering some tea Tobirama had recommended and she took it inside to drink it at the desk. She took caution so as the maid didn't see Shimobashira, she knew his size made the staff nervous.

When she placed the tray on the desk Shimo began snarling at it. She knew the meaning and her blood ran cold. She brought her poisons antiquary and made Shimo recognize it.

She heard the first scream. She needed to hurry up.

 

_Hokage house: Dining room_

* * *

 

Tobirama couldn't identify the kind of pepper they had used in the food but he was sweating after the fifth spoonful. It was delicious but the itching obliged him to drink some tea to placate it. When he heard the first scream he stood up quickly and the world flipped so brusquely he had to kneel. He heard a second and a third scream and then could no longer distinguish how many there were. His head throbbed and his stomach clenched furiously. He couldn't get enough air, and his vision blurred. The last thing he saw was a pair of white slippers and turquoise pools.

She had run into disaster when she entered the hall. She pushed through all who crossed her path, went through the kitchen and saw three dead maidens. Bloody pop-eyed, blood ran down from mouth to chest. She picked up a saucepan and filled it with fresh water, took a deep ladle and ran to the dining room across the kitchen.

He was so damned lucky. There, on his knees, one hand pressing against his stomach and the other on the floor for support. She threw chairs and tables aside and pushed him up onto her lap. He could barely breathe and his eyes were irritated for the effort. She threw his head back and forced a ladle full of water down his throat, then two, three until he was spitting it.

Then she squeezed his thick throat until he choked leaning him over so that he could empty his stomach on to the floor. She repeated it until all that came out of his mouth was water clean of bile.

Hashirama and Mito found her when she was trying to drag an unconscious Tobirama to his room. Fortunately they haven't had the tea yet. Hashirama was horrified and helped her with the dead weight so she could prepare a detoxifying brew, the sooner the better.

Hashirama already had disrobed and tugged Tobirama on the double sized bed when she arrived, Shimo patiently seated, waiting for her. She gave the vessel to Hashirama and he made his brother swallow the whole content with gentleness and affection rarely seen in a man.

Finally, she exhaled the air she was holding back, she had done everything she could, from now on it would depend on Tobirama's will to live.

 

It had been a tragedy, twenty three deaths, all staff members. The tea was identified as a rare flower very difficult to find and harvest for the toxicity it holds. It had been almost eradicated from the lands… almost.

She knew this was the real blow. That the explosion authors had planned this. They had targeted Tobirama under her nose. Little did she know that it was just the tip of something far too big for her alone.

High fever and malnourishment threatened to kill Tobirama. The poison had been poured almost entirely out, but what little he metabolized was tearing him inside. the fever testified of the controlled infection and each passing day he seemed paler, if it could be possible for him, indicative of internal bleeding.

At the second day she was thinking hard about what she would do. She felt offended because this happened on her watch, but on the other hand, if Tobirama died she would be free. As a widow she had the right to stay under his brother wing, allowing her to continue the intel labor in the shadows as Kokuyo without Tobirama's constant pressure and wife labor on the horizon.

Tobirama hadn't been so bad, but they had been married just two days before this, she didn't believe she knewn him truly… but he let her be. She had thought he would force himself on her but was wrong. Apparently he wanted the same peace she did.

She was a woman after all, and would have to live forever in a man's shadow. It was her father's before. Now, it was only logical to be Tobirama's.

At the end, she convinced herself to put more effort into Tobirama's safety. He was a brilliant man and one of the best warriors in the alliance. He didn't deserve this pathetic death. Besides, she had a reputation as a healer and had witnessed a great one, one time, when an old healer from the mountain region healed a man with a similar prognosis. She had watched him be completely dedicated to the patient for three weeks. She could do that for him, for her family’s honor. The last thing she wanted to do was disappoint her father.

And so she began.

She cleaned him each day in the morning so his pores would be free of impurities and toxins. She made liquid protein concentrates instead just the chicken soup Sonja was giving him and supplied him progressively with water so that he could have strength to fight back the fever. She changed the wet wipes on his forehead and body, and talked to him while in his state of unconsciousness and made sure he had ocular reactions. She moved his body so he wouldn't develop bedsores, massaged his body and moved his limbs so his muscles and nerves didn't suffer too much from inactivity.

Hashirama kept giving him the brew every day and was pleasantly surprised with her changed attitude towards his brother. The first day she had only looked from afar as he and Sonja took care of him. Something had changed and she began to make all these things not even old Sonja knew about. And she stayed the rest of the month by his side until he opened his eyes and she was the first thing he saw.

 

When he woke up it was like a mountain had buried him. He felt dizzy and weak, his tongue thick, but he was alive. He remembered it all in a quick flashback. He heard a noise in the room and saw the same turquoise pools he burned into his mind when he thought he would die.

And that was all he needed… A life debt to Kokuyo.

He had annoying mixed feeling about this woman and his head hurt too much to think about it. He needed a bath with urgency. And water, lots of water.

He let out a pained grunt when she moved his head in order to provide him with water and soon he was holding the pot himself, drinking in spurts.

"You shouldn't load your stomach too much, you have been eating liquid slurry for a month."

And she was right, he was already full. She at looked at him in the same way she did before this- with a blank stare. He wanted to know everything about what happened, but at the moment he could just articulate one word: "Bath."

She didn't need to hear it twice. She called a maid and rose up towards the room behind him. He could hear water falling and began to move towards that direction. He could barely sustain himself so he practically crawled to the door frame using the wall for support.

"What are you doing? You can't walk!" She admonished him, then threw the last bucket of water and dismissed the maiden on her way to him.

"Come, I will help you." She put one arm around his waist and with the other took his arm and pulled it over her shoulders securing it in place and began to walk to the bath.

He was completely taken aback with her sudden helpfulness and it wasn't like he could have denied her help or show resistance.

She entered the bath with him, sat him down and began to remove his robe. He felt incredibly stupid, he couldn't even match her hand's speed. It all moved too quick, he only managed to mumble a weak "no" because he couldn't even elaborate his thoughts into words just for her to take his arms and softly let them fall at his sides.

"It will be alright. I've been bathing you the whole month." – That eliminated the word dignity from his vocabulary, but he was so numb he almost didn't care and as she began the bathing drowsiness overtook his senses. He just looked at her like a zombie, enjoying the attention. When she reached his hair he actually fell asleep again, this time from relaxation, not illness. He woke up when she spoke again. "Tobirama, can you hear me? I need you to help me. You must try to get up." He had a small towel over his head and a bath towel was on her shoulder waiting for him to get out of the water. Slowly he summoned force, stumbled into her but reached the edge and climbed the small steps of the built-in tub, always with her support. She wrapped him in the bath towel and guided him to the double bed. She motioned for him to sit, and began to dry his hair like his mother did when he was a child, before she died in her fourth labor when he was six.

Then she dried his torso and arms patiently and asked him to lay back so she could dry his lower body. Initially, he just watched the floor with a zombie expression waiting for his body to return to 'normality.' It bashed him that even as numbed and weakened as he was, his body reacted so vividly to her touch and ministrations. It had been a clinical touch and treatment. Maybe it was true he had been neglecting his "needs" like Hashirama told him…

Her monotonal voice interrupted his thoughts. "Tobirama, it's normal for your body to react like that. You have been prostrate for a month without sexual release and also, an erection is produced as a basic reflex when you are in vital danger and your mind faces the last chance of propagate your blood continuity."

Her explanation made it all worse in some wicked way, making him more conscious of his state and feeling the heat spread down his body, descending right to his crotch, making it twitch.

Well if she wasn't annoyed either would he be. With that thought, he leaned back and focused on the ceiling.

 

It was kind of sad to see him like that. This man was a proud creature and the poison had reduced him to a mumbling zombie.

At the beginning of the month when he first fell in bed, she allowed herself to admire his body while she bathed him. He was a beautiful specimen (anatomically speaking), she had to admit it (at least to herself). In part it had motivated her when she started massaging and moving his limbs, to reduce the muscle mass loss and it had worked in some degree, he could be a lot worse after a month of prostration. But to see his zombie gaze, numbness and now his complete submission to her was… shocking.

She had passed the last month looking at every detail of him since she was all day by his side and left only to bathe and do the nature calls.

She memorized his straight nose, his short white eyelashes and thin lips, the strong angular jaw that gave him a manly air in contrast with his light features which made him look more fragile than his brother. The way his Adam's apple looked, how light the skin in his nipples was. How she could count his serratus on sight and follow the fine path of equally white hairs that got a shadow darker at the point where the oblique wanted to meet each other, and then she found herself too interested in him…

She seethed her displeasure tucking him rudely into bed again, that way she could go away and grab some food. She was being dazed under the shadow of the unknown, she shouldn't be admiring him in that way.

She didn't care about being in her father's shadow but this man… He had done nothing for her except giving her a scar that still had a dull ache. He didn't deserve her care.

 


	7. Indecision

Hashirama felt one less weight on his shoulders when Tobirama woke up. Within the last month he faced all the difficult political decisions normally made by Tobirama all by himself. It was a hard and an endless job to do with the grim aura of death held over his brother's head. However, it seemed as if Tobirama had some stroke of luck when it came to his wife and her caring nature.

Hashirama thought it was strangely pacifying.

He hadn't been able to talk to her very much simply because before the marriage they weren't related and it wouldn't have looked right to engage in a conversation with a woman of single status. But from what Mito had said about her, she was all of what Sonja had said and more.

She was actually a very open minded person and was quite outspoken (a quality Mito enjoyed a lot since few women shared it). She professed deep love and admiration for her father. According to Mito, it could cause a lot of bumps in their relationship. Mito feared the idealistic paternal figure she held would infringe on their relation as a couple. Men don't like to be overshadowed after all.

Mito also saw the analytical coldness Makoto’s gaze held, but hers was different from Tobirama's. Mito could tell she had seen and done more of the darker and bloodier things. She held no self-doubt in her soul and if she could have seen what Madara had done it was highly likely that she wouldn't have accepted Hashirama's piety on him.

It scared and excited him.

Eagles in all colors, shapes and sizes went to Tobirama's shared room throughout the month. Air traffic was so high Hashirama had to build a little aviary so they could rest before being sent back with the answer.

The information rate was overflowing and they were already pointing their weapons to the suspicious clans to avenge and submit them.

He just hoped Madara wasn't involved in this assault. It had been six months since he left the village and Hashirama prayed all his days hoping to never have to face the byproduct of Madara's betrayal in his life.

 

_Tobirama's Room_

* * *

 

His muscles were still sore after one month.

He really appreciated the physical therapy this woman (his wife) was applying. The idea was still weird and it was becoming harder to convince himself that he had a wife. In the stupor state he held this month all the recent events before the poisoning seemed very much like a dream. A very uncomfortable dream.

He couldn't remember much from previous events but since he woke up she had been all he had seen and heard. At this point almost everyone became a suspect and Hashirama wasn't letting anyone in except for direct family.

The dizziness didn't help either. It was like the feeling he would get when he would stay too long in the hot springs.

The brief moments when he was awake enough to concentrate, he observed every detail he could get. The deep and rich golden color of her hair, her long, thick light brown eyelashes, the arch of her brows, how the space between them wrinkled when she found a particularly tense area, her small nose followed by the narrow but full lips, and the way her breath would sometimes fan across his neck and back as it would tickle.

When he could no longer keep his eyes open he just felt. He felt her hands on his body repelling the numbness and activating his muscles again. The soft clinical touch relaxed his analytical brain and awoke something deep and primal inside of him. He wanted more.

She was _his_ after all.

But it could wait. It would wait. It wasn't like he could do something about it right now, and she certainly hasn't changed much of her opinion in a month.

The bliss ended abruptly at the intrusion of Hashirama entering with his dramatic expression. She caught the signal and left before Hashirama could involve her too.

"Tobirama!" Hashirama fell on his knees at his bedside and wrapped him in a bear hug.

"I thought you were dying! You have to be the luckiest man alive! I love you so much! I'm so sorry! We will avenge you!" - Hashirama said quickly with trampled words and wide tears on his face.

And there it was… The ease Hashirama had for ruining his pleasing and tranquil moments was incredible, but Hashirama was his last brother and he loved him endlessly, not that he was going to say that out loud.

"Do you know who was behind this?"

"We just need some physical proof to face them. Makoto-chan's shadows are on it." Tobirama opened his mouth to speak but Hashirama was too far gone. "She's awesome! Did you see the birds? And all those messages? She took care of you too. You will be forever in debt, did you know? And she's pretty. Did you change your mind about her? I bet you are wishing you could have used your honeymoon for something better now, don't ya?"

"I'm in no mood for your jibber jabber, brother. I appreciate your concern, but I barely saw her the whole month since I was unconscious."

That seemed to brake Hashirama's heart.

"Yes, she has been nice. And she's very good at massaging. I didn't think she, of all people, would be the one who ended up saving me and caring for my health."

"Actually I think she's like that with everyone. Ohhh! I didn't tell you! Mito is expecting! I'm going to be a father, can you believe it?! And Mako-chan has been so nice to Mito. She knows a lot, not just of healing, but of natural body process too!"

That took him aback. He was very happy for Hashirama, but the thought of not being "the only one" did hurt his ego a bit. Then she was doing it because it was her duty.

"I think the baby is going to be a girl but Mito has placed her bet on a boy, but in any case you're going to be uncle!" Hashirama paused and actually took in Tobirama lying if front of him, "Are you doing alright? Maybe you need to rest some more? I was too excited..."

"Yeah…" Tobirama replied slightly breathlessly. "I mean, yes. I think I need more rest. My head is spinning a little."

Hashirama hugged him tight-"My little brother… Take care of yourself so you can come back to your people, to me. You now I need you."-

-*sigh* "You just want me to do the boring paper work."-

-"Hahahaha! Yeah! You got me but don't you always?"- With that said Hashirama stared at him with a melancholic expression for a couple of seconds and then left.

As soon as the main paper door was closed the one between their rooms opened. He saw her head poke in a little to see if Hashirama had really left. Maybe Hashirama's enthusiasm was too much for her too?

Had she been on the other side of the paper door eavesdropping on the conversation? It wasn't anything so private and even if it were, she was the spy master… She would know all eventually. Or that was his logic mind trying to convince him. He wasn't used to this kind of intromission. Usually the spy master was part of the war council and just reported in the council meetings. Having the spy master in his bed was entirely different.

* * *

 

Makoto resumed the massage where she left off. She didn't want to eavesdrop on their conversation but the walls were made of paper and the fact that he liked her massaging skills drew a small smile on her face. Tobirama was a man of few words, unreadable and complex. Every piece of information she could extract from him was valuable.

She didn't particularly like the feminine art of manipulation but she knew someday she would have to use it.

* * *

 

The month and information passed quickly. Each day Tobirama needed less assistance but his physical state wasn't at top level. In fact, he could just defend himself. She had planned this anyway. The second stage would consist in strengthening him but there were too many eyes in the Hokage's estate. She had some of her own in the house after the intoxication, but the staff was huge and many were too old. Keeping track of all their movement was proving difficult for a newcomer.

As a result, Tobirama was restricted to the inner complex where the bedrooms were located, where  _she_  could control the gossip. If the rest of the council saw him this weak it would only give them an opening to civil disruption, laying aside the image that would give to their enemies.

No. In order to keep his current state secret, the only ones who could train him were Hashirama and herself. And given the current conditions Hashirama didn't have too much time to do it.

She would have preferred to have one more month of kinesics sessions with Tobirama before moving to workout, but obligations gave her no choice. They didn't have more time and Tobirama was a capable man after all. He'll be okay she told herself, but she had to admit it… She will miss their sessions. It was the perfect excuse to touch him without him wanting to touch her. Yeah, it was pretty selfish, but to her… It was her way of interacting. Slow, private and personal… very personal. At this moment she knew every physical weakness Tobirama held, every muscle that needed training, each stiff tendon and every scar pulling his pale skin and how he liked it to be touched and treated.

He thought she wouldn't notice it but she certainly could differentiate a sigh of relief from a pleasure one. She didn't turn him on his back just to respect his modesty, something he really held high, or so she had learned.

Against all her thoughts she had become quite comfortable in this place in the last months, Mito was friendly and different from all the other noble women she had get to know until now.

Hashirama was so comprehensive it shocked her. Mito was totally outspoken with him and you could see the love and confidence they profess each other, although sometimes they made her want to puke.

The only loose end was Tobirama. He had been no more than a plant till now. Being unconscious or numbed most of the time, the few interactions she had held with him before the incident had been kind of aggressive and imposing, even territorial. He was so different from his brother, but who was she to argue? She wasn't that different either.

She only hoped for him to respect her own space as he had promised before. He was a handsome man no argue, but that was all. Yes she had enjoyed the view but just that. The consequences of letting him any further in her space were something she didn't want to deal with.

-o-

For Tobirama, the last month had been one of meditation and reflection. The daily kinesics session with her was what he expected the most. She had incorporated active exercises gradually but had maintained the massage at the beginning and end of the session and it was pure bliss. He was restricted to the inner area, but even if it irritated him he understood the reason. He said nothing and calmed himself meditating.

He didn't expect a change the day she transformed his room into a dojo. No massage this time neither in the beginning nor the end of the session, just warming up and stretching – a normal exercise session. He appreciated the granted loneliness while doing his daily workout but after two months of seeing her daily… he missed her presence, only a little of course.

Hashirama had left a week ago on a mission to expose the suspect of the attack and as much as it annoyed him, he was in no condition to go. Not physical at least.

She had left a week before Hashirama, probably to scout the area and give the final approval for the execution of the mission.

This gave him a lot of time to think and train. She had left a list with a detailed training schedule and foods which brought his thoughts back to her. *sigh* Kami-sama… What was wrong with him? Three months ago he was the most reticent in sharing his space with her. Now he couldn't take her out of his head. He knew the caring was for duty because she had made an oath, but it seemed so selfless and voluntary. His mother had been the only female he had allowed that kind of closeness. Even back then he didn't feel this way. Makoto was pleasing but also burning. Relaxing but arousing at the same time. Sometimes he even had to fight down some pleasure faces and moans.

It was slowly driving him crazy. He loathed it, but deeply he was beginning to crave for it again and at the same time he felt highly aggrieved for not having her absolute attention "It must be the confinement"- he said to himself at first. But then another month had passed and grumpiness overcame him.

And then, they came back.

 

_Konoha's Barracks_

* * *

 

-"Good job to everyone! I'm highly pleased with your performance! Keep the up standards and energy!"-

-"Hai, Hashirama-sama!"- Said in unison the group of elite warriors.

-"You can retreat to your families and women."-

The group bowed jointly and left.

"Took you longer than you thought, anija."- Tobirama spoke from shadows.

-*sigh* "What are you doing here Tobirama? I thought you were confined to the rooms for your own good"- Hashirama turned around to face him. He looked tired.

-"I have improved a lot in a month. At least in appearance, and confinement is taking the best of me"-

-"Ah… Could it be you are being a little possessive over Makoto-chan? Fear nothing my little brother, she's still yours and perfectly safe!"-

-"It’s nothing like that!"- Tobirama hissed. Hashirama touched his nerve so easily…

-"Oh…Then you are troubled about your dear big brother?" Hashirama played shy-

-"I just wanted an excuse to leave the rooms. Now that you are back I suppose we will finally train."-

Hashirama begun to touch Tobirama's arms, examining his muscle volume hurriedly, which caused Tobirama to recoil.

-"I said I'm ready! This regimen is affecting more my mental state than my body!"-

-"I know. I see you are irritable, but we can't afford arousing suspicion. Makoto has a plan to train with you, just wait for her."-

-"Her? Why not… I see"- Tobirama said with a hint of disappointment as he centered his attention to the ground.

-"You really see, brother? You didn't see her working in the field. She's a wonderful warrior. She uses a different approach in combat but she's very competent and skillful."-

Tobirama looked troubled. He didn't know if he should tell his brother about his confusing thoughts on his wife but Hashirama misinterpreted it as disappointment.

-" Look,  _you_  more than anyone knows the amount of work I have waiting in the office. You need her more than you are able to accept. All the village needs her and the information her net can provide. You should learn how to keep her happy."-

Tobirama abruptly turned his gaze from the floor and looked at his face with slitted eyes.

Hashirama knew what slitted eyes meant. He got him wrong or he didn't give a shit about his opinion.

-"I will not be a bed-warmer! " Tobirama hissed low.

Ah, he got him wrong -"I'm not saying that!"- said Hashirama a little amused with the mental image of Tobirama in that kind of role.

\- "…"

*Sigh* -"Look, Tobirama… This isn't a place to hold such a conversation, but when you made that oath it implied much more than just sharing a bed. You are sharing your lives and happy people work better than sad or angry ones. Since you are going to share almost all of your time with her and vice versa you'll play a big role in her perception of our village and family. Remember we want her on our side."-

-"She made an oath."

-"And we hope she will comply but you should not tempt fate. You reap what you sow."-

Tobirama kept staring at him with a tense stance.

-"Tobirama, I know you may feel useless now or even replaced but that's nonsense. We all have a role here. I could never replace you and that's why I need you back quick. I'm concerned about Mito and the baby and I need you more than ever. Please pull yourself through this, I know you can."-

He was looking at the floor now. Hashirama had succeeded getting into his thick head.

-"Where is she?"- Tobirama said in a low voice, almost a whisper.

-"She stayed for two days with her troop to get reports and see all cleaned."-

-"You are giving her too much chores. We can't depend that much on an external unit."- Tobirama said regaining his normal tone of voice.

-"Actually I was planning you could fix that. We are an incipient village and we-"

-"Have to fix problems as they appear."-

-"Yeah. I'm happy you could get through your moody cloud."-

-"Tssk. Go see your wife. She has been…awkward"- with that said the tension in the air disappeared, they were fine again.

-"Hahahaha! And you are clueless about women! Walk with me brother. I'll tell you the details about the mission."- Hashirama crossed an arm over Tobirama's shoulders and obliged him to walk by his side.

 

_Kokuyo's Lair_

* * *

 

-"Kokuyo-sama, the head-basket is ready for travel. Will you attach a note?"-

-"No, they know what they did. The head will suffice. Are the apples ready for the next target?

-"Yes ma'am."-

-"Good. Send me the report with my owl and process the remains to nourish the apple trees."-

The soldier nodded and left.

All resulted as expected. Now she had to go back to her role of a wife.


	8. Ch8 Scent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: contains explicit depiction of masturbation and oral sex.

_Hokage's garden_

* * *

 

Training alone and meditation sessions always helped him to put his mind and body at ease.

Nonetheless, he was still impassive, his body tense. He had been consciously delaying his bed time all this week. He knew some of this days or nights he'll enter his room to find it was no longer his own again. Makoto wasn't a noisy nor annoying woman but he was used to his own space. She didn't even talk that much, but her smell… After she left her smell lingered in their bed clothes, vests and coats in their shared wardrobe- the soft blend of floral shampoo, sweet perfume and the acid freshness of quince. He had to remember her every night he set his head down to sleep.

And he found himself wanting her.

When the maids finally changed their bed clothes and he laid his head on the pillow, with no smell but his own, he found himself missing her.

It was maddening the first days, he even found himself feeling jealous. Did she have a lover as Kokuyo? Someone who complies her lustful wishes?

Did she even have those kinds of wishes?

Was just this woman able make him feel like a drooling boy wishing to have her touching him again? Or would it have happened with any woman his brother had chosen for him?

~sigh~ He knew the answer. It didn't happen before in brothels or in his few liaisons during the war.

This woman got him the moment she glanced him in the saloon. Her gaze piercing and calculating promised power, but she took it from him with a single side glance, disdain write in her face.

Two months is a long time. He had carefully buried this feelings and denied them to his brother so many times he almost believed it, but the mention of her impending arrival was enough to bring them all to surface and the fear of rejection put a hole in his pride that could be buried with apathy and hard words.

He hopped the training session could make him stop thinking about it, but the moment he finished and walked the corridor to his room his mind whispered she could be right now sleeping in  _his_ bed, pouring her smell again all over his- their room. Since he couldn't go to the dojo because it was outside the complex he was allowed to walk, his old room was his permanent dojo and he ended using the bed on the room he gave her. He had been building up a desire for two months and didn't want pressure her. He promised space and time and even if she granted him the pleasure of intercourse, deep in his gut he knew it would be for duty as all she did.

He couldn't understand why that sounded so bad to him.

After almost two hours of thinking, the cold stone bench wasn't that welcoming and he decided finally go to bed. Why would she arrive now, the most introspective day of all?

He made the same routine since Hashirama arrived without her, staying outside the room a couple of minutes listening for someone inside, this time was no different from before.

Tobirama slipped into the room in silence and released the breath he was holding, not today it seems.

The impossible big white wolf stayed guarding Mito since her depart, the room was totally empty.

He opened the bathroom wood door to prepare himself a hot bath and all his body clenched when he received the heat and… that smell.

 

_Konoha (that midnight)_

* * *

 

When she reached the town it was far past bed time. It was strange to come back to a place where everything was so passive. Sometimes she wished she could submerge herself in the shadow of Kokuyo and disappear forever as a person. As Kokuyo all was more simple. He had an objective to fulfil;, men to command, plans to realize. All the stupid protocols weren't necessary and he wasn't defined for what was in his pants. A short, adventurous and bloody life.

Why did she came back here then?

**Her father's hands trembling, the fire, a couch in his office**

Ah… She made a promise to her father, that's why she was a wife.

She set her horse in the stables and went to their shared room as Kokuyo, climbing walls hidden by the shadows so none of the servants she didn't controle could notice her absence from the central compound. When she reached the paper window she let herself feel the wind on her face one last time. This freedom was no easily earned, she will enjoy it until the last second.

The room was empty, at least the bed.

Moonlight was reflected against the white sheets and walls, creating a strange aura of loneliness. She opened the wardrobe, looked her reflection in the full sized mirror and threw herself on the soft bed. It was someone else's room, it wasn't her home.

Even if half the clothes in the wardrobe were made for her, the boudoir held her perfumes and the desk was full of her papers, the sheets and the dresses held someone else's aroma. Him.

She needed a bath and sleep.

 

_Tobirama's Bathroom_

* * *

 

The water was calm with the light of a single candle and the moonlight that seeping through the small windows. She was facing the contrary wall, her scruff lied on the edge of the bathtub embedded in the floor, hair spread through the wood floor and body submerged till her chest.

He couldn't move, think or talk, just stare. She heard him entering since she moved her head aside, her lips moved but he didn't hear. Now he could see her profile, small nose and high cheeks…

"Tobirama!"

She was looking at him now, one arm out of the water resting on the edge of the bath, her eyes glaring at him head to toes.

"I'll be ready in a minute, can you wait in the room or do I have audience?"

Her acid comment made him touch ground again. She was his wife because of an intel arrangement and she didn't want him at all. He said nothing, closed the door and let rejection and anger pour out to build his wall with them.

He opened the window and sat on the porch, soft breeze blowing leafs and flower buds. It was refreshing against his skin and helped to empty his mind. Five minutes later he heard the wood door, the towel slipping to the floor, the touch of clothes and the brush on her hair. It was maddening.

He rose up and walked long steps towards the bathroom. He looked at her with askance while she combed her hair and closed the door softly, trying to hide his anger.

The bathtub was still full and he wanted to scream and destroy the room. The entire damn thing smelled like her now!

He collected himself, went to the service door and called for someone. Two maids laboured in silence while he waited outside in the service area. He wouldn't go back to the room while she was awake. When they finished cleaning he came back. The bathroom was steam free and the tub was full with hot water.

Tobirama quickly disrobed and plunged his body in the clean water hoping that the heat would unclench his tense muscles, but it seemed the maids thought he was in a hurry and didn't clean it completely since the smell of shampoo and bath oils from the previous bath were still impregnated in the wood tub, hence, his new clean water.

This must be the so called karma.

He had two options: the first was to get out and reprove the maids for an incomplete job and wait again for them to redo the full job, earning a bad reputation with the staff in the process and questions about his marriage status, or the second: stay and enjoy the hot water and the subtlety of her smell.

His brain screamed the first, it was just the right thing to do. If he was kind enough maybe the maids wouldn't get annoyed at all. His body by now was enjoying the second. His arms laid on the edge while all his body was submerged, muscles already submitting to temperature, senses submitting to stimulation.

He chose the second.

He had been denying himself anything aside village administration and wellness for a long time because he didn't care about the other aspects of his life aside from job, body and mind but that was because he had never wanted anything outside that group of things. Now, life circumstances had allowed him to explore something his brother had tried to push in him multiple times but it always became subjective and too complicated and he just didn't want to think about it anymore, maybe he just wanted to feel.

And so he did.

He rarely did this kind of thing, just when it was strictly necessary and his body hurt from negligence. However, this time he allowed his hands to wonder, remembering the soft clinical touch Makoto gave him a couple of weeks ago. Adding some of what he would have liked her to do, to touch, he let his fingertips travel down his pectorals. Soft,  almost not touching the skin, placing them over his nipples, squeezing them a little, allowing himself to let out a subtle sigh just to travel down the water with the same softness to the skin of his abs. He could feel his pulse growing. The veins on his lower abdomen now visible, dilating to allow more blood to flow through. He had felt the first pulse of arousal when he opened the bathroom door and the steam rich with her smell hit him. He felt himself growing hard at the sight of her in the bathtub, naked under the moonlight like waiting for him after a long absence...

He could work with that.

He continued going down, touching his hardening length lightly- feeling the torturous way of the veins there, denying himself the direct pleasure of touching the most sensitive part, as she would do, slowly teasing his skin but not his head, touching the inner portion of his thighs. Slowly first, squeezing or scratching a little. In his mind’s eye she was between his legs nibling him softly. He missed her hot breath on his skin. How wonderful would that feel by the sensitive skin of his cock, how those small lips would kiss his length until the base just to feel her hot tongue all the way up until the pink head, sucking it lightly at first... He hissed low. His cock was nearly untouched but his imagination had plenty of material and it was resulting very easy to work himself hot and needy. His cock was fully erect, throbbing against his lower abdomen, grazing the uncircumcised tip gently with each pulse of his hearth. He couldn't deny himself any longer. He touched it, tentatively, like she would do. He cursed silently for his inability to replicate the lubricating feeling of saliva since he was under water, so he squeezed his tip harder, imaging a small mouth sucking it. He trembled while keeping the sound minimal, traveling down with the same pressure till the base and then touching the soft sack of skin retracted against his hard member and then came back till the head in the same way. He squeezed the head a little harder, one thumb near the riddle and the other hand working his length. First softly, but he was so hard he needed quick release (it had been a while since he did this the last time). He pumped harder because there wasn't enough friction, imaging her head bobbing up and down. He could feel it now, the pull in his low gut and balls. He arched his back and panted hard using his legs for support while he pumped his cock faster with one hand, massaging his balls with the other. His hips jerking up just by reflex, thinking of her in his mind's eye, wishing to be inside of her- her walls instead his hands, her juices instead of water, her mouth silencing his pant and her skin close enough to smell her directly and not just a poor residual smell.

He came in the water trying his best to silence the growl he emitted, half arousal half frustration.

Shame was the first thing he felt after the orgasm washed off. God doom him, she was in the other room! Just 5 meters and a wood wall separated them. Even if she didn't hear him he had to sleep beside her pretending he didn't just touch himself thinking of how pretty her face would look between his legs or how those small plump lips would feel against his member. How was he supposed to look her in the face again?

Since there was no answer he put his thoughts aside, finished cleaning himself and listened through the door just to make sure she was asleep. She wasn't.

He washed his face again and put the best poker face he could, like always, just this time he did have something to hide. He looked at his reflection in the mirror and all he could see was a hypocrite. A man who could not confront his partner with the truth. But what truth? He didn't think he loved her. It was just desire, lust. There was no interest or care (at least on his side) he could admit to hold. It was just that she was undeniably beautiful and desirable and he was a healthy young man. Yes, that was all.

He told himself it was totally normal and that she didn't need to know any of it. He dressed in his nightgown, dried his hair from dripping water and went to the room normally, just not looking in her general direction.

She was reading intel reports on her bedside, in her nightgown too, supporting her body weight on her right side, giving her back to him. Her head held by her right arm. It was just a normal pose for reading -that allowed him to value the ample curve of her hip and the roundness of her gluteus. The light of the candles on her nightstand gave the best shadow to perfectly guess what was under the thin summer nightgown. He just got more material for his wicked mind’s eye.

 


	9. Feel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm soooorry it took too long, I'm having troubles to reach the point i want where is all the action ( if you know what a mean ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )) also if u are interested in being beta for this history please send me a private msj ;3! hope u enjoy this chapter!
> 
>  
> 
> Last chapter:
> 
> *She was reading intel reports on her bedside, in her nightgown too, supporting her body weight in her right side giving her back to him, her head holded by her right arm. It was just a normal pose of reading...*

 

He ignored his pulsing groin and went to bed showing her his back, minded in falling asleep quickly. She wasn't on the same page, apparently. She put all the scrolls on the floor except for one and rolled over to look at his side.

\- "Tobirama? I need to talk about a report."- she said in a low voice as if he were asleep already.

\- "Hello to you too."- his voice sounded a little too exasperated for his liking.

\- "…."

That seemed to take her aback. This woman was too inestable in her speech for his liking. She did not use honorifics with him. Even if this marriage was planned for other reasons she should learn the ways of a wife or the rest of the council would suspect. Hashirama told them he was on their "honeymoon" as an excuse for the last two months of absence, but if she keep that behavior they won't be able to hide the impoliteness of her interactions. Since she was already on acid comments he couldn't help but answer in the same way.

She answered in a low voice after a moment of scilence.

\- "I'm sorry. I'm not used to this yet and I've been outside for a while."- she touched his shoulder in a way almost imperceptible, as if asking forgiveness.

Even as offended as he was for her rejection he couldn't fail in work matters. Tobirama gave her a glance over his shoulder so she knew he was listening. She looked at him for a couple of seconds like she was waiting for him to turn completely. When he didn't she continued.

The scroll was a map marked with information she got on this campaign. In order for him to look at it in his actual position she supported her abdomen on his half turned back and unwrapped the map over his chest, her long hair recently dried fell over his face overwhelming him with that damned pleasant perfume he wanted so bad to avoid.

He could hear her voice in the background but the only thing he heard before his brain stopped working was something about a map recently acquired from their enemies. She didn't seem to realize that her hair was all over his face while she was avidly explaining, pointing out places with one hand and holding one side of the paper with the other.

Tobirama was lost in his senses. The soft hair fell over his face like silk. The perfume of oils, shampoo and her own body odor made him want to nuzzle her neck and see if her skin was as soft as it looked. Her body weight over him sent most of his blood to his groin, wondering how would it feel if she rode him, slowly and sensually at first and then hard and-

\- "Tobirama!"- she exclaimed in an exasperated tone.

He woke up from the enchantment just the moment he almost nuzzled her neck. Her shadow projected by the candles and the map were the only things obscuring the tent in his pants.

\- "I told you to hold the other end of the paper. If you don't want to cooperate this late just tell me."- She said kind of irritated

Tobirama just looked at her with startled expression, maybe he felt sick yet?- she thought.

\- "Are you alright? Your behaviour has been… kind of unsettling."

She put the map away and made the gesture to lay him on his back by grabbing him by his exposed shoulder and pushing him down. At the action all his warning senses awoke and he grabbed her wrist to prevent her from touching him again.

-"What are you doing?!"- Tobirama said a little too high, apprehension on his face. If she moved him too much she would notice his predicament and he wasn't in the mood for two rejections in one day.

\- "I just wanted to check your health. I left before you were fully recovered and you have some signs of mental instability."- he was squeezing her wrist a little too hard. That meant he was physically well, at least.

\- "I'm fine. It's bed time, we'll talk about this tomorrow."

\- "If you have any discomfort you should tell me. I can elaborate on a new plan or return where I left the therapy. Sometimes the mind doesn't follow the body"-

\- "I said I'm fine!"- Tobirama barked with a firm voice and tight teeth interrupting her clinical discourse. He squeezed her wrist harder and she winced a little from the pain. He disengaged his hold immediately and turned over to his side abruptly. His pulse fast and strong all over the wrong places of his body.

He hated the formality of her voice. It shoved in his face she was just fulfilling the contract when she offered help or showed concern. He would wait for the erection to go down and then sleep in a guest room. He couldn't give explanations about his actual state of humor, not to her.

* * *

 

What was wrong with this asshole?! She detected something off when he abruptly came into her bath and didn't leave immediately, but now he reacted aggressively without a minimum tease and totally rejected the health care she offered him and only him in sake of honoring the nuptial agreement.

She decided to drop the subject and talk tomorrow since after he barked at her a completely unbelievable "I'm fine", he turned his back at her and a couple of minutes later he got up from the bed and left the room in few large strides to never return.

It seemed he was avoiding her. The reason? Who knows… But a night of lone sleep in a wide comfy bed was good for anyone who has slept for weeks on the hard floor of the forest.

She quickly fell into deep sleep, unconsciously enjoying the musky, male scent that lingered in the bed sheets and pillows.

 

_Guest room (that same night)_

* * *

 

Sleep was proving to be difficult this night. The only thing he could think of was her. How she smelt, how she felt pressed against him, above him. Once he was alone in the spare room he walked in circles around the bed like a jailed lion trying not to submit to this uncontrolled and mindless desire, but it was too difficult to keep his hands of the tender points.

It wasn't neglection anymore. He had just touched himself less than an hour ago. Still, he found himself easily aroused by just thinking of what he would do to her if she let him...wanted him.

This was ridiculous! The fact that he could actually have her was the root of all this. He just had to make the demand and she will comply with her part of the bargain… unwillingly. The idea made his gut clench. He wasn't going to rape her for God’s sake. He would touch her in order to get her all wet and wanting, but right now he was too eager to just throw her on her back and have his way savoring, smelling, touching her and... _Ugh!_

He threw himself onto the bed facing the ceiling, his face covered in sweat. He couldn't sleep like this. He needed to _stop_ this line of thinking.

There was no he way he was going back to his old room, now improvised dojo, which was a couple of meters from her, so he snuck out to the barracks. There he got in the showers. The extremely cold water of the night put his body at ease almost instantly. In order to get his head clean of sexual matters he continued his swordsmanship practice in the light of a few candles. Some guards saw him but recognized him immediately and left with a curtsy.

When he got tired after a couple hours he got another quick shower and went to the house studio, the light of the morning sun already peeking through the horizon tentatively. Sleep finally reached him and the kotatsu table looked far too comfy. He seated and laid his head on the surface. It was all he required to fall into a deep sleep.

 

_Hokage's Studio (morning)_

* * *

 

Hashirama wasn't an early bird. Not like Tobirama at least, who always woke up before the first sunlight touched the earth. He was more of a mid day bird if you could say so, but there was plenty of work accumulated and he had to make the best of the time before the baby's arrival.

He could have expected from Tobirama to be already working this early before the poisoning. When he saw him laying on the kotatsu the first thought was he had been working in the night and had fallen asleep while working. Hashirama was ready to reprimand him for working while he was still weak, but when he got close he realized there was no paperwork on the table. His hair was humid and was wearing a yukata from the barracks instead of his own. Did he overexert himself in the barracks and then came here to sleep? Why? Ahh…If he was avoiding his own bed there was just one reason: Makoto-chan had arrived.

Hashirama didn't understand Tobirama's insane efforts to avoid her. She had taken care of him while unconscious and a whole month after that. He had hoped for their relationship to improve in that time of intimate touches. He had caught some glimpses of the kinesic therapy Makoto gave him. It wasn't anything overly invasive, but Tobirama has never allowed someone to touch him that much, not even for sex, but he let Makoto massage him and he could tell Tobirama had enjoyed it. He saw how he curled his toes when she loosened a muscle knot. He even let her bathe him once when his legs were too weak to sustain him.

Maybe he was overwhelmed for liking it too much? Hashirama then remembered his distress in the interior garden when he admitted she had gotten under his skin by just showing him a little of her body. Yes! That should be it! He didn't know how to deal with feeling too much. He would help him with that. He was his dear little brother and the hopes of his successful marriage where on Hashirama's hands, or at least he liked to think of it that way. It was so romantic…

Tobirama was frowning in his sleep and were his lips partially opened. It seemed he was dreaming. Hashirama moved silently to his left side and placed a hand on his back making soothing movements. His face also rested on the table close to Tobirama's. When Hashirama touched him Tobirama opened his eyes abruptly and made a disgusted face when the first thing he saw was his brother face a little too close and that stupid smile plastered over it.

\- "What are you doing anija?"- he let out with a tired voice, trying to put as much space as he could between them without leaving the table.

\- "You looked so cute."

Tobirama's response was a disgusted grunt while he massaged his lower back. Three hours in that position had done no good to him.

\- "You looked like you needed some love brother. Why are you sleeping here if you have a beautiful woman warming your bed?"

Tobirama gritted his teeth and diverted his face away from Hashirama's view but he still could see the red tinting his ears. It was so easy to tease him.

\- "I'm not discussing this with you." - Tobirama said in an exasperated tone and made the motion to rise and leave the table.

Hashirama grabbed him by the wrist and pushed him back to his seat. Tobirama landed on the cushion letting out an angered grunt and facing his brother seriously.

\- "Who then?"- Hashirama said firmly. He was used to Tobirama's stubbornness. Hashirama knew he needed this talk.

-" …."- Tobirama played mute and kept glaring at a random point in the background.

\- "Listen Tobirama… I know it's a little overwhelming in the beginning but it improves if you talk it out, I promise".

\- "…."

\- "Maybe she was out a long for period this time but she took care of you for a much longer time, I saw it! She was very careful and loving and-"

\- "How can you know that?" - Tobirama practically spit at him. Hashirama had heard Tobirama using this tone just to refer contemptuously to some Uchihas playing a particularly coward approach during the war. Never had he used it on him. It caused him great shock.

Tobirama saw the blank look on Hashirama's face and knew it was his opportunity to get out and so he did. Hashirama didn't stop him this time.

When Tobirama left Hashirama remained in deep reflection.

This woman was hurting Tobirama, probably unknowingly, but still… Tobirama would never speak like that if he weren't silently in pain because Tobirama always suffered silently. All the death, frustration, failures and loses the war brought to them. He shared them when they were boys, but he grew into a man that swallowed them all and used it to build a horribly cold wall. With time it became hard even for Hashirama to reach him. Sometimes he feared for him. He feared the shadows would swallow him forever.

At the beginning Hashirama though the peace they were enjoying now had been paid with the blood of his mates during the war. Now he knew better. The blood was just the entrance ticket to have a chance for peace. The true cost was being paid now with shadows and murky diplomatics arraignments and Tobirama got mingled in them quickly because, like always, he knew this truth before Hashirama and embraced the cost immediately, trying to leave Hashirama out in the light while he sacrificed his life moving the cords hidden in his shadow.

Hashirama didn't want this for his only brother left. He wanted him to enjoy the light and the love that life could provide even if it was short. When the possibility of a marriage arrangement appeared it has fallen from the sky. Hashirama was certain this would bring Tobirama the happiness he was enjoying with Mito. And then Makoto-san resulted to be Kokuyo and that wasn't even the problem. The real problem, apparently, was that they were too similar and none of them wanted to give in, was it? Maybe he should clarify the problem first.

* * *

 

It was still early. The maids indicated Tobirama was having breakfast in the common kitchen, something unusual since Tobirama was a very private person and liked to eat in his own chamber unless Hashirama requested his company. Gossip between the staff was quicker than wind. This couldn't be repeated or the council and their enemies would know something was wrong with the recently married couple.

Hashirama ordered his food to be served in his chambers and greeted Tobirama once more while he swallowed down his miso soup quickly. Apparently, he wanted to be out of there soon.

\- "You can continue your breakfast in my chambers Tobirama."- Hashirama said while grabbing him by his shoulder. A firm grip that implied a command, not a suggestion.

Tobirama was a stubborn person but knew he shouldn't play fool with Hashirama the few times he was serious. He cursed mentally and stood ready to follow Hashirama to this stupid talk.

Hashirama walked slowly, greeting everyone he encountered in the hallways like always, pretending nothing was wrong. When they arrived at the common chamber Mito was brushing her hair and Hashirama approached her. First kissing her forehead and then whispering something in her ear. Tobirama could tell it was about him since she gave him the "What did you do now?" look and finished her hair quickly to leave them alone.

The food was served recently. Steam and delicious bittersweet pork fragrance. Hashirama invited him to eat too since it was too much just for one person. They ate it quickly in silence. Once their bellies were full Hashirama continued with his soup and his interrogation.

\- "So… Are you ready to tell me what I don't know?"

\- …

*sigh* He would have to play the guessing game again with him. Why did Tobirama have to be so hard with words?

\- "You don't like something about her?"

\- "…"

\- "Perhaps some manners are not like ours?"

\- "…"

\- "Or is it something she said?"

Tobirama changed the direction he was looking. So it was something she said...

\- "Is a problem in the private department?"

Tobirama clenched his hands under the table. He thought Hashirama couldn't see but it caused wrinkles in his haori.

\- "Is it a problem in bed?"

His brow twitched. Usually it took much longer for Hashirama to deduce Tobirama's line of thinking but this time it was painfully evident Tobirama was having a lot of trouble keeping the poker face in this monologue.

\- "Is your wife denying herself to you?"

Ah...Tobirama gritted his teeth. Did he hit the point?

\- "Tobirama… I'm sure we can talk her around that. Mito could help, why-"

-"She is not denying anything!"- Tobirama bursted with a yell, leaving his place at the table to pace around the paper door of the bed chamber, facing anything but Hashirama.

\- "Hey! What is wrong with you? You are yelling at me and saying harsh things to me but you refuse to tell me what is wrong! It must be something in bed since you are super angry after I touched the topic. You are not fooling me again and I'm not dropping the subject until you answer."-

\- "Nggg! It cant't... For God's sake just leave me alone already! I have enough with her."- Tobirama hissed in a low voice the last part since he noticed the yelling could be heard from the hallway. He opened the rice paper door and entered the bedchamber. Hashirama followed and closed the door behind him.

\- "Alright… No one is hearing us here. Just spit it out quickly. I'll keep it a secret, I promise."- at the words Hashirama made a little cross over his heart. Such a childish thing for a grown man…

\- "She… she said she would comply with her duty if I asked."

\- "So… have you asked?"

\- "No!"

\- "Why?!"

\- "Nnggg"- Tobirama grabbed his forehead in frustration. This talking was proving far too difficult for him. It was humiliating.

\- "Don't you like her? I thought you liked her on your wedding night, or perhaps it was just my drunk mind?"

Hashirama was just babbling now. Tobirama was at the pinnacle of irritation and would spit it all out if it stopped his stupid brother's chatter.

\- "Stop it! Of course I liked her! Who wouldn't like her! With that firm ass and those stupid long legs and her soft hair and her smell! All I want is to fuck her senseless!"-

\- "Oi, oi! I don't need that much detail!"

\- "You asked for this!… I… I...This is all your fault."

\- "Aww… Tobirama, it's okay to feel like this, like you could explode from feeling too much. That's what love is about."-

\- "Love? Have you been listening? I don't love her. I just want to get lost in my own pool of lust. How could I love her if I have barely talked to her. I don't know her nor does she know me and on top of all- she doesn't want me!"

There. It was all. He had said it. Now he could go away to sleep in the studio for the rest of the day.

\- "How do you know that? Did she tell you that explicitly? She took care of you so diligently. How could she not like you?"

God! Was he never satisfied?

\- "She asked for time. She said she wanted to get… used to me. Besides, she is like that with everyone, I'm not especial."

\- "Used to you?"

\- "I don't know!"

\- "But wasn't that in the beginning? It 's been three months since then."

\- "There was an underling promise in her speech. Like, if I wanted to force her she would become unfriendly. I… I want you to take her away from my chambers."

\- "What?! I can't do that! People will talk!"

\- "I don't care. This is making me crazy. Do you have any idea of what she had been doing while she was away? It's highly possible she has a double life… another one…"

\- "Oh… Tobirama! Do you _do_ want to be special for her! I didn't think you would be that possessive. Is that what annoys you the most?"

\- "Stop playing fool! Just stop it! Yes! I want her mine but since it's not going to happen I want her out so I can be in my room again. Send her to her father. Say she's taking care of him in his last days. Anything will do!"

It broke his heart to see Tobirama like this. He had never seen this kind of desire in him. Maybe because in his previous encounters women have come easily and directly to him. He didn't know what to do if it was denied to him, he didn't know how to woo a woman for which looks weren't enough. He would help him. The solution was far from what he was asking for and he would need skills he didn't posses. *sigh* He will need Mito's help.

 


	10. Ch10 | Unaware

Mito had foreseen a problem in the relation of those two but she never would have guessed Tobirama would be the one hurt, and so soon.

Hashirama whispered to her something about problems with Makoto-chan and had asked for privacy but she knew better. Her husband had a tendency to exaggerate his version of the story and since this was a delicate matter she decided it was necessary to hear the problem directly from Tobirama. She heard them hidden in her own bathroom and- ohhh, she had been right about it. If Hashirama told her how desperate and needy Tobirama sounded she wouldn't have believed him and would have lowered the profile of the current predicament.

That being said she put her hands to work. She couldn't let Hashirama fix this. He was helpless and tactless with people like Makoto and Tobirama. They were just too different. She asked for her breakfast to be served with Makoto in Tobirama's chamber and went to find the big wolf in Hashirama's inner garden. He must miss his master.

 

_Tobirama's chamber (late breakfast)_

* * *

 

It wasn't strange for Makoto to have breakfast with Mito, so when she was requested the only thing that was unusual was to have it in her chambers and not in Mito's. She shrugged it off and got dressed properly. Mito gave her many silk robes intrinsically decorated to use over the normally plain clothes she usually wore. At least she respected her disdain for full kimonos. They had just too much layers for her liking.

Shibomashira came in first. He was composed in the corridor but as soon as he was allowed in the chamber he was all fluffy, waving his tail and licking her. She had missed him too.

Mito had a little belly now but you had to look in order to notice under all the layers of clothes. They greeted and ate  quickly. Makoto didn't eat since the beginning of her journeys back to Konoha.

Unfortunately, Mito had a lot to talk about and while she did listen to what she said, she limited herself to answering shortly or in monosyllables because she was really hungry. Until she started asking about Tobirama.

"So… Did Tobirama greeted you correctly last night?"

"Uhmm… That would depend on your definition of correct greetings?"

"Come on! It couldn't have been that bad!"

"It was… strange."

"How so?"

"I don't really know him. I don't know if he's behaving normally."

"Well I know him a little more. Maybe I could assist?"

*sigh* "He wasn't in the room when I arrived. I took a bath and he interrupted me. You would say it was impolite. He was staring at me like I was soiling his water, an intruder. It wasn't nice."

"What? Are you sure that was his intention?"

"Well… what else could be? I finished quickly and got into bed while he bathed. I wanted to check some important details on the map I could forget the next day since he was still awake but he was very rude and rejected my medical assistance. He said he was fine but it was clear he was mentally unstable…. Also, he was a little... aggressive."

"Aggressive? Did he…"

"He didnt hit me if that's what you mean. I'm no damsel, we had meet each other on the field. He just griped my wrist hard because he didn't want me to touch him."

"Really?"- Mito couldn't believe this woman was actually their spymaster. It was just so amusing, she couldn't hide her smirk.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure. He made it very clear. Why are you smiling? He detests me after all the time I wasted helping him. Is it because I violated his personal space? Is that irony what amuses you?"

"Hahaha, you silly girl! How can't you tell?! He doesn't hate you, quite the contrary. He is craving to touch you. Which brings another question- why haven't you let him consummate the marriage?"

"Shhh… People shouldn't know that. How do you know? Tss! Did he tell you?! And that's bullshit! You think a man with Tobirama's nature would bite his tongue about something he wants?"

"He said you asked for some time to adjust."

"I wanted to buy time. And why would he respect that?"

"Why do you need time? And of course he would respect it. You are his wife now and the spymaster. We need you in good spirits."- Mito said as she winked in the last sentence.

"…"

"Hey, why do you need time? You can count on me if you need help or… have questions."

"It’s nothing like that. I…"- Makoto lowered her voice as much as she could- "You know I'm Kokuyo… I can't afford to get… pregnant. Not now, not ever. So... I usually drink a concoction of herbs on daily basis but that old head maid didn't allowe the entrance of the package because it was made in a whorehouse and would look wrong and arise questions if it was known that some high lady in the hokage residence was drinking it."

"Ahhh… Oh, well I see… So your problem is much more pragmatic than what I thought."

"Anyway… The old head maid is right. It will arise questions since I don't control all of the staff here. I was planing to use the birds to bring me daily portions in small packages but if they lose it or get discovered and I miss a day it will be inefficient."

"Makoto wait a bit. I understand and respect what you are telling me but you have been neglecting you husband. You got lucky he was inactive the first months but now… he wants to be with you. You can't ignore him like when he was unconscious anymore."

"Ah? I'm not sure you understanded our relationship Mito. He certainly would prefer his room alone. He moved me out after the first day after all. Not that it bothered me."

*sigh* "Look Makoto-chan. Listen to me carefully, okay? Tobirama can be a little broody but under that he is a normal young man and you are a very pretty woman walking in thin robes near him, sleeping beside him, touching him- even if it was for rehabilitation. He _does_ like you. A lot. Maybe a little too much… *sigh* What I want to say is that he wants to have marital contact but doesn't want to push you because you are here mainly as an intel collector and secondary as his wife. Tobirama is a very objective person but he is losing his grip in this situation because he is fighting primitive urges and that's what causes his disturbed mind."

"….."

A long and uncomfortable silence filled the room. Mito just waited for Makoto to absorb all the information she had given and was hoping she could understand it correctly.

"So… he doesn't want me to touch him unless it's for sex?

*sigh* "It's not like that either. I mean… well… in the beginning maybe, but you will get close in time. Why did you have to paraphrase it like that? It sounds so wrong!"

"It's what you just said, sweet words won't make it better."

"God you are worse than him!"

"Even if you said so I can't believe it for certain. What someone else feels is very arbitrary. I can't risk getting pregnant or the time and energy that will cost me getting rid of it just because a conjecture…"

"It's not a conjecture, it's a fact. He wants to send you back to your father because he can't stand being near you without giving in. Besides,  I'm not telling you to… you know… penetration… There are other ways of finding pleasure and release. You should talk to him about your problem too.He will understand the limitations, but that doesn't mean no intercourse."

"So you are saying I should blowjob him to mental peace?"

"God, you are terrible!"

"I have to admit it's a good alternative but still, I'm not risking touching him in that way without confirmation. Also, how do I know he would agree and help me? Isn't it weird?"

*sigh* This woman was impossible... "As I said, Tobirama is conscious of your first mission. Also we can seed and harvest the plants in the garden and you could learn how to make the concoction, yes?"

"Mmm… I thought that too, but it would take much more time and I'm not sure if he will want to cooperate."

"What a hard head you have, hmm? I already told you. Anyway, you will begin training again with him this afternoon, won't you? I think you will notice it then."

Mito gave her another wink adorned with a smirk and excused herself to her own chamber, leaving a confused Makoto in the room. The white wolf sleeping placidly at her feet.

 

_Tobirama's chambers (afternoon)_

* * *

 

Makoto dressed in her training clothes. Black armless turtle neck shirt and cotton stirrup pants, a matching short kimono with a lime green belt, no shoes of course and a ponytail as high as her own hair's weight allowed.

She waited for him to show up while meditating. She heard steps and hushed male voices half an hour after the scheduled time. Hashirama opened the paper door abruptly. Tobirama looked distressed. The fact that Hashirama was pushing him to make him go inside didn't help. Mito must be hallucinating in order to think he liked her even a little.

Hashirama patted him with both hands on the shoulders, a little too hard while saying "get it together" and then closed the door behind Tobirama who looked like a caged cat ready to run. He never looked directly in her direction while walking to their room paper door, presumably to change into training clothes.

He was greeted by the attentive eyes of the white direwolf in the bedroom and decided not to close the door behind him, just in case…

Tobirama changed clothes quickly, too conscious of the wolf's intense eyes on him. He could smell his distress after all, and emerged from the room slowly. When he finally had the decency to look her in the eyes she raised up ceremoniously.

"You are late."

"…" - Tobirama just looked the floor, a grimace in his face as if he didn't like the floor's wood style.

"Five series of pushups before we start."

"Excuse me?"- Tobirama raised his head and said in bewilderment.

"You are under my care, medically and now in your training. I have more things to do and you know it, I won't be waiting for your whims to come true in order to begin the session."- she said softly and firm.

"This is a sparring-"

"Sparring implies equal physical condition, which is not the case."- she interrupted him by raising her hand- "This is a workout because your muscle mass is in rehabilitation."

Tobirama knew when to keep his mouth shut. She was right about his condition and wasn't rubbing it in his face on purpose,or at least her pragmatic tone didn't give that idea. Leastways with pushups he didn't have to touch her so he began.

He dressed in the clothes which he could put on the quickest, those were plain dark blue pants and long-sleeved shirt. He did the pushups with no big effort, she knew he was training on his own but only in muscle force and reflexes. His aerobic capacity should be the most compromised. He seemed to have regained the prior muscle tone and force and that made her  _very_  happy. His strong shoulders raised his body easily. In the second series his efforts pulled up his shirt a little revealing the net shirt under the coton, the latissimus dorsi and external oblique contracted deliciously. Even if he didn't like her she couldn't pass up the chance to admire such gorgeously carved anatomy. She will do her best in order to train every muscle group just right. Too much muscular hypertrophy wasn't beautiful.

"We'll begin with endurance training after the stretching."

"…"- He didn't say a thing, just noded.

Silence filled the room while they completed the katas. He was agile and precise as usual. When they finished and assumed their stance, he looked at her and assumed his own stance reluctantly. She attacked quickly and tried disabling points first: liver, neck, mandible, between the eyes. He avoided her strikes with some difficulty - he wasn't expecting that kind of an attack. In fact, he was not expecting any body contact for the first training session and was determined to keep it minimum. Sweaty bodies, grunts and whines were too much alike the dreams he did not wish to recall right now.

He gained control of the rhythm and she keep pushing him in order to see which was his current aerobic capacity. After 15 mins he already had a labored breath and was compensating agility with force, making less attacks but more powerful strokes. She didn't want to get a punch of that kind during training so she decided this was enough and used a chokehold to end the encounter, or so she would have liked. It seemed Tobirama wasn't done yet and was resolved to counter her hold. They didn't hit the floor but Tobirama didn't want to be restrained by her and they kept forcing each other in short quarters showing exquisite hand to hand technique.

She wasn't as strong as he was but she compensated that with agility. Her movements were too quick to allow him to regain enough impulse to push her down or knock her out. Her footwork was impeccable and he was being forced to recoil. He had to admit she was good. It was entertaining to finally have an equal challenge (other than Hashirama) who smelt and felt much better (even covered in sweat). Her skin was as soft as any woman's should be. Every touch felt like a pang to his gut, electricity coming down quickly to his groin. The aggression involved in close combat was the icing on the cake. He could imagine her being this rude in other activities, now he knew how she sounded while panting, how she sounded in slight pain when he reached her one time... That sound was beautiful, almost a moan. When she reached him and tried a chokehold he was so pleased to have her clinging to him. He wanted more. His counter was automatic, he wanted her on the floor under his body moaning his name without that annoying kimono, he knew what was under it.

As if she had read his mind, she striped of the black kimono revealing a tight black shirt. The sun was in the hottest point when the wind was gone and she was wearing black, her sweat was dripping from her brow to the floor, high neck and the shirt molded her figure perfectly, uncovering her shoulders and grabbing her small torso and narrow waist which lead to contrasting wide hips and a beautifully toned ass continued by strong tights. The pants left only her skin color to imagination. Everything started to happen in slow motion then. He felt his own sweat dripping from his face, the stupid heat of this particularly hot day, his face in flames, his groin throbbing, this pants tight… No! He was so good up until now! Why?!

She removed her kimono quickly, the heat was unbearable and made her movements slower. She saw him staring at her as if she were kicking a puppy when she removed the piece of cloth. He looked at her head to toe and after a couple of seconds he began pacing around the improvised dojo, his face constricted in what seemed to be anguish. He tossed aside his own long sleeve shirt, wearing only the net shirt and made the motion to leave the room towards the bedroom. Something made him stop before the door and deflected his way towards the wall. He punched it several times with both arms. That took her by surprise. She supposed this wasn't common behavior. Maybe he hit his little finger or he sprained his foot? She approached him slowly while he supported his head on the wall and whispered his name hoping she could resolve his problem, but when she spoke he grunted and struck his forehead against the wall at least three times before she tried to take him away from it. In that moment she knew she had screwed it, she made the wrong choice.

He took the arm she had used to grab him and forced her against the wall. She was now facing the wall while he used his own body as a cage, one hand restraining her arm and the other beside her head. His head got closer to hers. She could heard him inhale. Was he smelling her? She was sweaty, that wasn't pleasant.

"The practice is over."- he said, and released her.

"That's not your decision to make."- she turned to face him, he was showing just his back. "Tobirama, what's wrong? Are you injured or tired?"- she closed the gap and grabbed his shoulder to make him face her.

"Stop it! I already warned you!"- he said as he tried to free himself from her intrusive hands. He only achieved to make it worse. She used both hands to grab him by his trapezius. It send shivers down his spine. His erection, clearly visible from the front, pulsed in acknowledgment, and he let out a low pleasure groan.

"Are you in pain? Is the trapezius? Yeah... You were a little tense, that must be. I can loosen it-"

"Stop!"

He turned around and made his own chokehold on her. She lost her balance with that amount of weight, bringing them entangled to the floor. He wasn't restraining her totally, she was on her belly facing the floor. He had one of her arms at an awkward angle pressed to her back, her other arm was extended, he used his weight to pin her to the floor while using the other hand to hold her upper back pressed against the floor. His legs held her own with no great success, most of the weight was in his pelvis which… Oh...Oh! Okay… Mito was right. Maybe he did like her, but… She froze. What should she do now? Say something or try to get free from his hold? He grinded his pelvis against her ass. She could feel his warm cock pulsing against her with each thrust and he was panting and groaning audibly. She decided it was enough when he sucked her earlobe and moaned low in her ear.

She freed her legs and raised her ass to his abdomen and back kicked him right in the hip joint. He let her go and she used the opportunity to run to the bedroom where Shibomashira was. It was probably the reason why Tobirama did not enter the first time.

She just rejected his advances even when she said she would comply. What should she do now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to read yor comments and oponons ppl, please write!!


	11. Ch 11 | Pressure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previous chapter:
> 
> She just rejected his advances, even when she said she will comply… what should she do now?

 

 

Shibomashira looked at her attentive. Ears up, ready to jump at the enemy. She soothed him with a hand sign but it didn't take long before Tobirama opened the door loudly (apparently forgetting the big wolf), his face contorted in anger and ignominy.

"You will comply with the contract, now."- he said in a low groan, teeth tight and knuckles white.

"Now? I don't think it's the right moment-"

He closed the gap between them in a couple of strides causing her to stop talking. He stopped just because Shibomashira raised in an attention stance.

"Order him to get out."- Tobirama was impatient, his breathing was still labored and his ears were deep red.

"I'll do it when you calm down. You have to hear what I have to say first."- She was glad to have the wolf here, otherway she would have to fight her way towards Mito's safeplace. It was clear now she had allowed too much time to pass without an explanation and that he thought she was an obedient wife. Now she was facing a very humiliated Tobirama with a visible bulge pulsing in his pants.

"We'll speak later."- he hissed in a low, irritable tone.

"We should definitely speak more about it later, for now I'll be as brief as I can: I can´t consummate effectively the marriage now."- his eyes slitted even more. That clearly increased his annoyance, she had to add water to the fire if she wanted to avoid a physical fight-" It's not that I don't want to, you are a handsome man, but I can't afford a pregnancy and my anticonceptive method was blocked since my arrival here."- She spoke quickly and systematically. She knew she didn't have too much time before Tobirama's hormones overshadowed his survival instinct resulting in him ignoring the wolf's warning and the wolf’s claws making a new scar on his body.

"What?"- Tobirama looked at her dumb faced. At least his rage had subsided a little.

"What you heard. I can't consummate the marriage until I can find a way to have a permanent supply of herbs to make the concoction on my own."

"How? How much time will it take?"

"That depends. I have yet to plant the herbs in the yard. They have to grow to be mowed and then dehydrated in the sun. I calculate three or four months.And then-"

Tobirama groaned loudly, more high than any of the others sounds he had made. He turned around, grabbed his face with both hands and walked away to rest on the other side of the bed, hands on his knees and head down, a defeat posture. Apparently he had accepted he wouldn't have any "action" today.

It was kind of irritating. He had been stopped just by the wolf presence.  She had to admit she had lacked in communication, causing him distress… But that wasn't enough to obligate her to do something supposed to be on mutual accord. By his reaction she concluded he had accepted her plan for the inner garden (even if that took four months or more to be completed). She decided maybe she should give in a little if she wanted to keep things civilized. She was going to do what Mito suggested.

"You know… There are other ways for releasing sexual tension. After all...it wouldn't look good if you appeared the red district while you are married."

"Whose said I'll do that?"- he replied quickly with the remains of anger he had harbored until a moment.

"Well, you are a young man as any. It's clear now you aren't immune to your needs, as apparently you used to think before."- she said as she moved closer to him. She couldn't delay this anymore so as the saying goes - don't let for tomorrow what you can do today.

"I've had enough of your mind games for today."- He was still angry. As soon as he heard her moving he rose from the bed and went to the bathroom quickly slamming the door behind him.

That left her a little dumbfounded. She hadn't been playing any type of game, she was prepared to please him now (at least orally), but once again his pride got the best of him. It was okay to her. One more day without obligatory intercourse.

_Tobirama's Bathroom_

* * *

 

That woman was impossible! Was she talking about what he thought she was? And she had the nerve to look at him like always, head up, plain face and that doctor tone she used on everyone. Does she not have blood in her veins? Even he considered it a difficult topic. He had said all those things because anger and arousal blinded his usual judgment, but as soon as the anger eased he was insufferably ashamed of his own words. Her offer came out of nowhere, as if she were asking about watering the plants. Maybe he was the scandalous one and she was far more familiarized with the practice? That made him felt a little… inexperienced. He wasn't nescient to the topic but he just had practiced the most common, oral was way out his experience. Not because no one offerd herself to do it, but mostly because he never wanted any of the whores or unknown village girls  _that_ close to him. They were at war, anyone could have been an assassin or a spy. It was very common for men to fall in that particular trap with female spies  and the act kind of perturbed him before he met this ridiculous woman. Recently, he had fantasized a lot about that particular action. Now that she was willing to  _do it_  he was crushed with insecurities. He assumed she proposed this in compensation for the lack of intercourse but was still obliged by the marital contract, not be cause she wanted to taste him or touch him. Ohhhgg… His cock pulsed only at the thought. It was still hard, demanding attention. It was becoming painful and he was more aware than ever of her presence behind the door. His underwear was slightly wet with precum. If he was going to let her suck him one of these days then he should begin by losing his modesty around her, at least in his own room from this moment forward.

The boiled water of the shower was steaming, making the room humid and hot. He threw away all his remaining clothes and leaned on the handwash furniture with one hand and the other pumping his hard erection. Now in addition to all his mental images he had the feeling of her toned and squeezable ass against his groin. It had felt incredibly good. He already knew she had small perky breasts but her backside… it was a gift. A natural bulkiness and the warrior training with just the right amount of fat made her rear the most desirable part of her body which he wanted to rub himself against. He could imagine his cock scrubing between those buttocks, easily lubricated by her own juices. She would moan and bend her back lifting her ass for him like a cat so he could penetrate her on all fours. She would bite her lower lip to conceal a scream as he pushed himself inside her wet cunt as it would suck him inside unintentionally, her body reacting just by impulse and need. He fell on his knees to the floor, his head and arm supported him on the furniture door now, his free hand pumping himself frantically while his hips thrusted in the air searching release. He just wished to have that marvelous ass slapping his lower abdomen each time he thrusted into her, each time her cunt sucked his cock trying to milk him inside of her. Yess… That's the way things should be… She should be always full of him, her pussy dripping his seed combined with her juices. Ohhh... He pumped himself until it was painful, until every bit of cum was out of him.

He regained composure a moment later just to see the mess he had made. His cum laid over the furniture door he was laying on and all the things over it were scattered on the bathroom floor. He hoped the maids had not heard his show...

_Hashirama's Inner garden_

* * *

 

Tobirama wasn't going out of the bathroom anytime soon and she decided against facing him after he most surely pleased himself with the memory of recent events. That was a mental image she didn't know how to process, so she went to Mito, searching scape and council.

It was enough she had to admit she was right about Tobirama's feelings, she hoped Mito was empathetic enough so she could guess by just looking at her, but again she was wrong. Mito saw her distressed face but was too pleased to let her go without a detailed narrative of what happened between them.

"Mito, please don't make me do it."- She said, although she knew the redhead liked spicy gossip.

"I waited too long for this. You will tell me everything. Don't you want help?"

*sigh*

"I can't talk here."

"Yes, I know. We are talking in my chambers over some tea and sweets."

"Mito, this is a serious problem."

"It could be easily solved if you want."

"It's not that easy."

"We will see. Come, walk me inside."

Makoto took Mito by her arm as a male escort and she walked in sulky mood towards the main chambers silently. She began the talk as soon as she closed the paper door.

"You were right all along if that's what you want to hear to gloat over it. Also, he kinda agreed with my plan,  reluctantly…*sigh* I have to say in my favor that I was going to do  _it,_ but suddenly he didn't want to and fled towards the bathroom, probably to masturbate."

"Hey! Wait! You are going way too fast! And by the will of fire I didn't want to know that!"

"Well, me neither!"

"Okay stop yelling people will hear you. First, how did you know I was right?"- Mito said as she took a place on the large bed while nibbling on a cookie, a suggestive look in her eyes.

Makoto stared at her silently and moody from the other side of the bed- "Why are you doing this! Do you enjoy my distress?"

"Oh my, no! Hahaha! Dear, why are you so dramatic? Was it  _that_ explicit it even embarrasses you to  voice it out?"- Mito said in the most annoying aristocratic way she knew only to push her towards spilling it out.

"He rubbed himself against me while we trained! Like a dog in heat!"- Now that the adrenaline of the moment, indignation rose quickly over all the things she felt- "And then he tried to obligate me to consummate the contract right there! Does that man don't know of the word seduction?! I could talk to him just because Shibo was there imposing presence. God, now I'm really upset."

"Oh… well… He did sound a little desperate when he talked to Hashirama, hahaha…*cough* Don't look at me like that. You see, that is exactly how it is. Tobirama isn't romantic by nature like Hashirama is, neither of you are anyway… Aaand before you try to excuse yourself, Tobirama's demeanor is seen as "cool" by normal women so he never had the need to seduce someone into going to bed with him. Normally, the girls came to him after a successful campaign and he rejected almost everyone. He's a private person you see, but I think you already noted that. So in conclusion, if he looked for your touch you should feel kinda lucky?"

"What? Excuse me?! I can't believe _you_ out of everyone voiced that!I should feel lucky that someone who had barely talked to me used me for their own pleasure? Is that the kind of woman you are? Where is your self-respect?!"- Now she was pacing through the room throwing her arms in the air. Mito was impacted that a couple of words could make such a big change in the normally stern woman.

"Hey! Okay, okay! I overstepped. Please, calm down. I understand your frustration. I will rephrase it... *sigh* It’s obvious you have a communication problem-"

"It's not the only problem!"

"Shhh… Don't interrupt me Mako-chan."- suddenly a thought hit her. Why was she so annoyed now and not before? She knew she should lay with Tobirama even if she didn't like him way before they signed the marital contract. Did she have expectations related to the sexual relationship they would have? Or more possibly… Was she comparing Tobirama's treatment to someone else? A past lover?!

"Mito! Mito! Why did you stop talking if you shushed me before!"

"Ah! I'm sorry, it’s just… Can I ask you something?"

"You are already asking."

"*cough* Haha, right. It's kind of a sensitive topic but… Mako-chan, did you have to renounce a lover in order to do this pact?"

…..-"Why do you ask that?"- Makoto was facing the wall. Mito couldn't see her face when she asked, but she notecied the change in her voice. She already knew the answer.

"Did he treat you well?  Did he love you? Did youlove _him_?"

"Why do you suppose my lover was a man?"

"Ha! You don't fool me my dear. I have seen how you admire a well developed male body and I know you miss him, don't you? Did you see him on the last mission out of the village?"- Mito almost whispered the last thing. It was kind of sad to have to abandon everything just because your father ordered it. She had left her village too, but she was so young she had very little memories of that place. And even in her youth she had always been betrothed to Hashirama and she liked him since their first meeting.

"No. My relationship with him wasn't like that. We were partners before lovers. When my father ordered this alliance I cut the romantic relationship immediately. We both knew that relationship would never have a future. It wasn't difficult, at least for me. We didn't see each other often but, yes... You are right about me unconsciously comparing Tobirama's poor advances with…  _him._ "

"Well… That explains why you are so annoyed. He must have been a good lover. In contrast, Tobirama treated you like… like a thing."

"He was caring… I… I haven't thought about this in that way. It's a little confusing. I can't expect for Tobirama to be like him since I will not change my own behavior. I don't ask for flowers, gifts or even equality because I understand we are not. I just want to be treated kindly by the person who is supposed to be my life partner. I took care of him and supplied everything I thought he would need. Why can't I have that too? He did that…"- she said the last three words with a knot in her throat. She almost never cried. She wouldn't do it in front of Mito either, but now as she thinks deeply about it, it just brings pain and humiliation. She wasn't raised and educated to be the slut of some high lord. At this rate she preferred to contract a whore that looked like her and commission her to please him until drying him out if he so much needed and wanted it. She unconsciously numbed herself to Tobirama's mistreatment to save herself multiple discussions and to secure her assignment as spymaster. But how long would she be able to suppress her own pride in order to not hurt the mighty, young and handsome lord Tobirama?

"Makoto, I understand you are upset. I know you are a proud woman, that you are making a big effort avoiding confrontation with Tobirama, but he can change. It's just he doesn't understand the problem. But Tobirama is a very comprehensive individual, he's a kind and honorable man. He is just… inexperienced in this field."

"So I must overlook his mistreatment because oh, poor lord, he's so goodlooking and powerful he never needed modals so he doesn't know them?"

"Mako-chan, you are being unfair. You also avoided him."-

"I took care of him as a devoted wife would do. He was the one who pushed me away. And you are right, I didn't complain because it was convenient for me to be far from him. I don't want to bear children and being the wife of a young war lord implies that many times! But still… You know the heart of a woman Mito, and I'm one, as much as I want to deny it. I would never change my mind about pregnancy, but this could have been different if he weren't such a douche."- Mito was stunned by the amount of bile Makoto had accumulated in this shorts months. It made sense anyway. The only person she could talk her mind to freely was Mito. Tobirama was a wall with the sensibility of a stone moved principally by hormones and she had no friends here. Maybe she had no trusted friends at all… Except the ex lover she didn't see anymore. It broke her heart.

"Mako-chan..."- Hashirama interrupted Mito's introspection. He was by the second paper door in the main entrance. Mito didn't know how much time he had been listening but this wasn't good for Makoto's privacy and sanity.

Like Mito thought, as soon as she heard him she freaked out. She turned her head abruptly in his direction, her eyes opened in fear for being discovered, frightened of male retaliation. She moved back slowly towards the inner garden doors without losing eye contact with Hashirama. She looked like a frightened doe ready to run from her predator and so she did. When Hashirama took a step trying to advance towards her, she moved quickly and pressed her back against the door but she did not open it. Maybe she remembered she had nowhere to flee. She did not own her own room, everything here she had to share with Tobirama. She was miles away from her home and her father's name served her little if she was not beside the Hokage's family. The only safe place she knew was Mito's and now she did not feel safe here either. She looked at Mito pleadingly, tears looming from her turquoise eyes. When she looked at her Mito comprehended that while Makoto was objective and calculating by nature, most of the time in the court she used those traits and her stoic expression as a mask, she was still young and wasn't that different from the village maidens who tried to gain Tobirama's favor by dropping feather like touches or whispering sweet words. But overall, she feared more the repression from Hashirama. She must had been punished or humiliated several times to be so deeply and unconsciously afraid of it.

She fled quickly towards the inner garden. Mito noticed it was night already when she opened the doors. In that moment she understood why her enemies had given her that nickname Kokuyo. She dissolved between the shadows of the trees as soon as the light lost its glow in the deep night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here begins the drama! Hahaha…I'll make a clarification:
> 
> I'm sorry for making Tobirama look like an asshole, but analyzing his personality he doesn't look like a sensitive, romantic cute inside guy and he didn't need it anyway, he lived a short life after all… but! This is a fanfic, I'm trying to be as realist as I can without being too ooc (i only hope XD) since every fanfic I read about Tobirama he is secretly the best and most considerate lover while in his canon data he is stoic as hell, like very machiavellian, it just seemed wrong for me, this is how i think Tobirama would have been in his youth considering he practically was born warring and fighting. Makoto is like every woman who was obliged to choose between two choices during war: caretaker and mother or disguise her femininity and do some dirty job with her male pals, we all know it didn't go well in those times, the ones who successfully did it aren't count in history and the ones who were discovered were killed as witches, Makoto is clearly developing a mental pathology, she as all women in that era had been mistreated and diminished all her life for her sex whith the difference she had also been treated with dignity by his father and ex lover (as males figures), so once one knows it's not normal to be mistreated the normal course is questioning why the others are mistreating you, in response to her relocation and lost of her supportive loved ones she's becoming apathetic and destructive.


	12. Ch 12 | Thoughts

_Mito's bedchamber_

* * *

 

"What did he do?"

"Why don't you ask your brother?.."

*sigh* "You know he wouldn't admit he did something wrong."

"It isn't something he did just now, he's being doing it since he met her."

"He doesn't do it on purpose. His speech is a little rough but he means no harm."

"Makoto can manage his talking. She herself uses a similar approach on daily basis. The problem is he's treating her like a whore."

"What?! Isn't it a little extreme to put things like that?"

"Tobirama only looks for her company when he wants a sexual approach. They don't coexist. Besides, I heard the conversation you had with him in this room. He said it himself, he just wants to fuck her. Didn't he say that?"

Hashirama was stunned. Mito was hidden in the room on purpose while they talked?

"Why did you stay?"

"I knew you would need help in this matter. They are very different from you. Besides, you also heard Makoto now."

"I thought comprehensive male support would help her."

"Her reaction to you also surprised me. We don't know the events she had to face during the war. She's six years younger than us. I wonder where did she hide."

"I have looked after Tobirama's tantrums many times as we grew up.She can't leave the compound, she's too responsible to do so. She must be in the studio's archive where we save the older pergamins and private mail."

"The hidden trap in the library?"

"Yes… I should tell Tobirama."

"But you said he wouldn't apologize."

"We just need him to hear her so he can understand he was being a dick. He will not apologize, but he will alter his behavior."

 

_Tobirama's bedroom_

* * *

 

The room was empty when he finished his bath. He dried his hair the best he could and prepared for sleep. The big wolf was still in the room but now he rested on her side's bed foot. The beast looked at him attentive while he changed the bathrobe for his nightgown which made him be extra careful of his movements. He did it as slowly as he could, taking care to avoid any aggressive or fast moves.

When the main paper door opened soundly he was ready to admonish her about leaving the massive wolf without supervision in his room, but it was quickly forgotten when he saw Hashirama instead, and with a serious semblance, no less.

"It seems I treated this subject too lightly before."- Hashirama said with a leaving-no-questions tone. Tobirama said nothing. "I warned you about this Tobirama. Why are you so tactless sometimes? I can't understand… "- Hashirama walked the room impassive trying to use the right words in order to cause the correct impact on Tobirama.

"I gave you a nice woman and you behave like a spoiled young boy with a new pet. You try to use her for your own pleasure but neglect her wishes and needs and I can't understand why. Why are you such a dick to her? She takes care of you, she leaves her dog to guard you, she does your paperwork… God, she has even avenged what the enemy coalition did to you, and you are angry because… what?! Because she doesn't openly desire you? How could she? You are a dick 24/7! You don't even deserve her care Tobirama! Marriage works in both directions. You are asking her to fulfill her duties while you do nothing about yours." -

"What? I’m-"

"I didn't finish-" Hashirama interrupted him and raised his tone- "You are a selfish brat. Did you really think you could force yourself on her and keep things the same? What were you thinking?! You are reducing the first child of a notorious grand commander and our spymaster to whore labor. Isn't that enough to put wet rags on your boyish impulses or do you need the wolf fauces on your balls to remember it?!" - Hashirama was screaming now. He felt so angry and frustrated, he hadn’t prepared this words, they just came out as he confronted his brother. It was usually the opposite. Hashirama couldn't remember another occasion in which he was the one admonishing. It was the first time and one could tell by just looking at Tobirama's dumb face that he was also surprised.

"What? The cat got your tonge now? Say something! "

"The wolf is here to keep an eye on me, not to watch over me-"

"…...Really? Of all the things I told you _that's_ the one that got your attention first?"

"No!"- Tobirama looked conflicted, but Hashirama knew it wasn't merely because of what he told him. He was fighting off his pride in order to accept his fault first and then he could feel guilty...maybe.

"I…"

"Stop talking about you Tobirama! This stopped being about you the moment you were well enough to escape the main compound." - Tobirama looked into his eyes finally. He had avoided Hashirama's face all the time making disgusted grimaces. Now he was aghast. His mouth was gaping like a fish out of water. He didn't know what to say.

"The dog is taking care of you. In case you don't remember you were the victim of a terrorist two months ago and the only reason you are here breathing right now is because of her and her dog. You're forever in debt to her but it seems you don't know how to pay with gratitude." - It looked like Hashirama was about to leave him but the lack of verbal answer from Tobirama unnerved him more. He needed more impact.

"I can't believe you of all the soldiers in this town to be capable of such an unjust and retrograde behavior. I'm so disappointed. " - Hashirama paced around the room uneasy. He needed to give Tobirama a deadline or he would be thinking about this subject for a whole month- "You have two nights including this one in order to fix this. She can't be sleeping in the studio's archive for more than that, people will talk. And she doesn't deserve it. If someone has to be caged that should be you."- Hashirama poked Tobirama's chest painfully with his index finger when he said the last words in order to make an emphasis, hoping this was enough to get into Tobirama's hard skull and hopefully, his heart.

Hashirama left the room closing the door soundly, walking heavy steps towards his room to reunite with his beloved wife. He was emotionally drained and physically tired. He wasn't looking towards the morning. It was going to be a long day.

 

_Tobirama's Introspection_

* * *

 

Tobirama stayed still in place where Hashirama left him. Shocked and in deep contemplation about the situation. He had no one on his side now, even his brother turned his back on him. How could he not understand? Of course he didn't. He had a wife who loved and pleased him since their first glance, he had that easiness with people, something Tobirama had envied since their childhood. He just couldn't do it- smile sincerely at everyone, even to strangers. It made no sense to him and he respected their differences. He thought that made them stronger because they covered each other’s flaws... but not in this matter. Hashirama couldn't deal with his private life, his incapability to verbalise his feelings, because he supposed that was what was wrong in their relationship, wasn't it? Their relation began the wrong way with his poisoning. She offered her care for free, he didn't have to ask, he just welcomed her soft and caring touches once he was awake and when he no longer needed them he keep demanding her attention giving nothing in return but getting angry when she did for obligation. Now that he said it himself it really didn't make sense. It was unfair and now he had to go there and apologize? That will not change their damaged relationship nor will it make her change her feelings towards him. It will make coexistence more bearable at best, but will not fix this. Maybe nothing will fix this. He could't forgive that kind of disrespect.He would always bear apprehension in his heart and so will she if she's as proud as he thinks.

The benefit will be minimum in exchange for his severely damaged pride but Hashirama didn't care about it anymore. He wanted some water poured onto the fire as soon as possible.

Maybe a town girl would have been easier to marry.

 

_Studio's archive (Makoto's introspection)_

* * *

 

Old books and dust. It was a familiar smell. I spent a big part of my adolescence near them, in a library's archive near the devastated castles and abbeys on the coast. My father hid me there searching for old maps, medical records or old commander's diaries in order to know the area’s fighting styles, geography or any advantage he could take in about the zone.

I found comfort there while I developed from child to woman and met him, Kuren. He was a refugee from one of the towns that were erased of the map for existing too close to the battlefield. He got there with her older sister and a younger brother and my father took them under his wing, feeling guilty.

The older sister got married quickly to a warrior under my father's command and the two boys were trained as warriors. Kuren was the more promising one. He was a quick learner and was an avid tactical theory lector. We were the same age and when I saw them sparring in the abbey saloon I had already read a lot about the art of combat in order to know some parry stances to put to practice. It amused my father that I learned that much just by reading and he let me practice with them. Maybe he shouldn't have said yes. If he could have said no to me just one time- maybe I would have married Kuren at a young age and he would be the new commander of the coast. Instead, I excelled in dual daggers and Kuren became Kokuyo's right hand, bounding him to illicit activities for life, leaving the command of the coast to my sister's husband, one of my father's loyal subordinates, but not the most brilliant.

Life would be simpler. I would not have to carry the heavy bag of pride, I could have allowed myself to love Kuren back. Maybe I would be dead by childbirth or deadly bored in my father's house but in a better company and for certain not alone.

Maybe I could be happy like the silly town girls that didn't waste efforts trying to live a different life, an adventurous and more exciting one.

It didn't play as I thought.

With time it's clear there's no place for someone like me in this world, not yet at laest. With time, it's clear that my old nanny was right. It's always exciting when you are young, but as time charges the bill you find yourself inevitably walking towards what society says you should do. The place nature assigned you the day you were born.

I thought long and deep if I should stay here serving the alliance or if i should ask Hashirama to fake my death and serve only as Kokuyo. This accord with Tobirama didn't have a fix. I tried my best to hide my pride and bite my tongue but I'm certainly not going to sleep at peace again after an attempted sexual assault. He wouldn't have been victorious because I could defend myself, but I should never have to go through that at the hands of someone who was supposed to protect me. Maybe not love me but at least care for me and my well-being.

As I'm deep in thought I got interrupted by the archive floor cracking. Slow, heavy steps- an adult male. He's trying to open the trapdoor with some difficulty. Could it be Hashirama? How did he know she was here?

The trapdoor opens smoothly after seconds of trying, the ladder unfolds and I see feet in white socks and a blue nightgown… Tobirama's nightgown.

He doesn't have the patience to descend feet by feet, he just lands himself five steps from the floor. His nightgown is half opened on his chest. It's not strange, it's a warm night. He walks three steps before I get up showing all the hostility I can on my face. It works- he stops. The soft light of a single desk lamp isn't enough to illuminate his expression. I can only see some of the light reflected in his eyes, his expression and intentions are uncertain.

"What do you want now? You didn't have enough?"

"..."

"This place is too small for the two of us for my liking. Be brief."

"I came to apologize."- She didn't expect that, she learnt very early that Tobirama isn't one to apologize first.

"Hashirama sent you?"

"...Yes."

"..."

"But if I'm here it is because I came to the same conclusion."- Tobirama voiced slower than usual.

"I'll hear you but I do not guarantee acceptance, and do not come closer."- I couldn't hide my apprehension.

"..."- he just looked at me directly for a couple of seconds as if saying that he will stay there, like dogs do to their masters.

"I've been unfair, to you… and to my husband duties. "- he made a long pause-"I have dishonored and mistreated you and for that I deserve punishment and opprobrium."- He sighed like telling himself he could continue this without dismay- "I did it fed by frustration and lust." -he admitted- "I should have been more sincere to you and to myself, respected my feelings and needs and I'm heavily ashamed of my behaviour."- he was looking at the floor until now, he raised his head looking at me in the eyes- "I'll do my best to not fall again to that state and if I don't keep my promise you will be released from your duty as a wife here and you can serve as Kokuyo or as a lady protector in your father’s coast house, but I can't break the marital union, my brother wont let me."- His eyes were sincere and kind of desperate when he said the last part. He spoke slowly but firmly, as if he practiced it several times before coming here.

"That's your best offer?"- I know he can't give more than that, but still his practised words are like putting salt on my hurt pride. He expects me to accept this answer and go back to bed? He accepted he needs to speak his mind with me but refuses to do so now, the moment he should explain himself the most. I can't accept just this.

"..."- he grabs his forehead thinking what to say- "What do you want me to say?"- he ask exasperated after a moment, as if it's not clear enough.

"I want you to speak! You just said that's the problem! You want me to conform with that practised boy speech only? To go to bed with you as if nothing happened? Wha-"

"Alright, I get it! You want me to speak, to tell you things I have told no one? To you, some lost coast girl that comes from nowhere to invade _my_ space. Isn't it enough that I have to share my life with you _obligated_ that now I have to tell you my darkest thoughts which is the only thing that I own in this moment! Why? Why do I have to do it?!"- His words shoked me. So that's what he really thought of me… I knew he was annoyed but it seems I came to terms with this new life much faster than him.

"Then why did you need to touch this annoying coast girl, huh? Because that's what caused the trouble, not a fight for private space!"- I find myself throwing him all the bile I have. How dare he to say those words after I saved is miserable life from poison… The more I talk and share with him the more I think I should have  let him die that day. To live as a widow protected by Hashirama.

"You are impossible!"- Tobirama grunts and spins around in place covering his face with both hands- " What do you want to hear? You never want to lose, nothing is going to get you placated!"

"I want the truth! You just said I'm annoying and invasive and if you are obligated to be near me, why are you annoyed at me then? You could go to a brothel and fuck all the whores you like and want!"

"It's not the same!"

"Of course it's not the same! I'm no whore! I won't bear you grunting over me like an animal for some coins because I have _dignity_!"- I was screaming and so was he. It was so humiliating have to clarify this to someone who is supposed to take care of you and respect you. Angry tears threatened spilling.

"I know! I know… I'm not the beast you think I am. I value all the good things you have done and for that you are a desirable woman-"

"It looks like you just want to fuck me and throw me into the next room during the day."

"Silence woman! You wanted me to talk? Fine. "-He put his hands on his hips and started talking looking at the walls after a silent moment of a glance fight- "I…You are a desirable woman. I felt it, the pant of want the moment I saw you. I felt the power and sense of victory in which you carry yourself and since that moment you took it away from me. You discarded me instantly. Sonja (the maid who raised them) was right and wrong- you are a trophy wife. You are beautiful and graceful and brilliant. A proud warrior, caring and you saved me. How was I supposed to be immune to that? "- he stole a short glance in my direction, as if probing my reaction- "Then the poisoning… You think I don't know you were the one that keep me alive? Hashirama made it his personal goal to make it clear to me. I was… overwhelmed. I needed you. To hear you, to touch me, to sense you close… You did it just because you made a vow, because you were obligated. I felt… jealous of everyone, even Mito. I wanted you to do it because you wanted too. To treat me like I’m yours and for you to be only mine."- He said that to my face. I didn't know what to do so I diverted my eyes to the floor. This sincerity was a little too much to take all at once- "And then you left and what was I supposed to do? I was locked in the rooms pacing around imagining all day if you were with a lover while I missed you like a fool here. It was maddening. It make me angry with you, with me for being so stupid to fall in dependance of such a banal need and feelings…"-He fell silent suddenly. He was breathing fast and crossed some space when he was speaking. He was at arm's length now.

She didn't know what to say. He was confessing he indeed had deep feelings towards her while she was still trying to come to terms with being married to someone. She didn't harbor any good feeling towards Tobirama after all this time. She felt bitterness just at the thought of him. It melted a little with his confession. She felt horrible for not noticing before but the short moment she considered to forgive him and allow him to get closer or allow herself to maybe fall in love with him was cut by the strong smell of sake coming from him when she tried to touch him to calm him down. She recoiled when she noticed he couldn't hold still in place. He didn't look like he took two or three cups, he was utterly drunk. She pushed him back and he lost his poorly held balance and fell on his ass onto the dusty floor.

"How many bottles of sake did you swallow in order to sepult you pride and come here to tell me this?"

"What?"

"I said how many!"

"..."- he just diverted his eyes away from her.

"You drank so much you so wouldn't remember or you didn't want to tell me?"

"..."- he didn't answer. He tried his best to get on his feet with dignity.

"Go way…"- she was so angry. She almost believed he had changed a little, that he was opening up and wanted to build something but what use did it have if it can't be done sober? If he has to drown himself in sake in order to talk to her honestly? Angry tears spilled. She was furious and Tobirama didn't move more than his drunkard spinning.

"I said go away!"- she screamed at the top of her lungs while she pushed him towards the ladder. He tried to grab her hands.

"Do not dare to touch me ever again!"- she pushed him against the ladder. She couldn't see his expression, they were too far from the lamp but she heard steps upstairs. It seems someone heard her screaming. He climbed quickly, slipping two times before he closed the trapdoor soundly.


	13. Ch 13 | Back home

_Studio's archive_

* * *

 

She had fallen asleep after a pitiful session of silent crying. The faint light of the lamp shot pain through her eye sockets. She couldn't be here, not for now at least.

After a short meditation she decided to pay a visit to her sick father as an excuse to be away from Tobirama as long as she could.

The sun will rise in two hours, she needed to be quick.

Her equipment and mission clothes were in Tobirama's room but she could replace them in her house, she didn't need them that bad for this travel. She went to the armory and changed after a quick shower into generic dark clothes and light armor, hid some daggers on her and made a small pack with survivance objects. She ran across the yard silent as a shadow towards the stable. She thought she succeded when her horse was saddled and she was about to jump on him but then watching her from outside of the stable, with the saddest eyes she had seen on him, was Hashirama.

It shrinked her heart. Hashirama was a noble soul, sensitive, she had learnt. He wore his heart on his sleeve. He had treated her like a true sister. She felt she was punishing everyone for Tobirama's lacking but she wouldn't back down. She needed to be away, to put her thoughts at ease, to remember how is to be cared for and loved. She would miss Mito and Hashirama but they had no inherence on her right now.

"Will you come back… sister?"- Hashirama whispered only for her to hear.

"..." -She had to make a long silence in order to swallow the lump in her throat- "Yes."- she said in a whisper. Her eyes diverting from Hashirama´s.

"I'm so sorry. You don't deserve this and-"- Hashirama began to articulate apologies as quickly as his mouth and sadness allowed him but Makoto raised her hand immediately. That wasn't necessary.

"You have no fault in this… brother. It's not your contrite heart the one I want to hear."- she already felt the tears in her eyes. She mounted her horse before that happened.

"Take care, please. I'll be obligated to send him to follow you."- Hashirama said stopping her horse by holding the reins, his eyes showed his desperation.

"Don't!"- she raised her voice in fear just to quickly change to a haste whisper-"Don't send him. If you want me to come back as a wife, he has to come willingly. If he doesn't... then  tell everyone that I died at the hands of the same perpetrators that poisoned him while I was going to see my father on his deathbed."- She whispered mirroring the despair in Hashirama's soul. He couldn't force this matter anymore.

Hashirama just looked at her directly with pleading eyes, took her hand and squeezed reassuringly while nodding his head. A promise.

He let her go and she spurred her horse lightly. It was a long trip.

* * *

 

She felt the cold of winter going through her bones although it was still autumn. She visited several Kokuyo hideouts and asked shelter between her unknown spy net that answered to a weekly keyword. Not much people knew Kokuyo's identity so it wasn't difficult to keep her low profile and her body heat.

When she finally arrived home no one was expecting her. It had been a rainy day, sad clouds didn't improve her mood. The night had fell minutes before she unmounted her horse.

She was going to get directly to her room, without explanations, to just block herself from the world if only by the hours the night but that wouldn't have made sense, to travel all that miles from the valley to her house to just be alone. So she went through the mud of the stable to the front door and knocked, like a stranger would.

Fortunately, her mother was the one who opened it. She withdrew the best she could her wet hood plastered to her head and face and looked at her mother's shoes. She hadn't tought it before, but when her mother gave her the first perplexed look she remembered all that rumors and whispered words the kitchen maids spoke about daughters given back by their husbands because they didn't like them or weren't found worthy enough. She remembered the shame they imprinted in their words, the indignity. She wasn't in that exact position but she felt close enough to feel some of the shame the maids talked about.

She must have worn the shame on her face because her mother dropped the candle she was holding in her hand and brought her in, towards the fireplace in the heart of the house, removing her wet coat quickly and giving her the nicest hug she had received in months.

She kissed her forehead and whispered sweet nothings. It was all that was required to make her loose. She huged her mother back with all her force and shared all the tears she held. Her knees hit the floor and her mother nested her in her lap while she vented.

* * *

 

By the morning the air was chilly in her room. It was a rainy day, the drops from last night seemed to be only the start of a rainy week. She regretted leaving Shibo in the valley, but even if she didn't want to leave him with Tobirama it would have been difficult to maintain a low profile with him during the travel.

Her mother was comprehensive enough and didn't push questions on her last night. She probably will do now though.

As if summoned, a knock on the door, not asking permission, just announcing an entrance, a big tray appeared followed by her mother who locked the door behind her. This was going to be a long day.

* * *

 

"My dear, I  assumed you understood the implications that came with that marriage the moment you said you would comply to your father’s request. Your situation, it's quite... regular. Several young ladies have had to learn to love their husbands after their union and comply with marital obligations. You are lucky your husband is a young and handsome man. It could have been someone of your father’s age…"

\- "It's easy to say so when you didn't have to live that mother."

\- "I understand that you are here cause you can, yes? I'm not telling you to live submissive under the young Senju, because submissive is not even near you vocabulary. I'm just saying that it's quite a normal situation and you have my support and my home- your home to meditate about a solution but it's just temporary. You must go back to your husband sometime soon and make amends. You said you have the support of Hashirama-dono and Mito-chan, they sure will help."

-" They tried mother…I don't know if that was better. Hashirama-san saw me when I saddled my horse. He said farewell and asked me to come back or he would send Tobirama after me."

-" So?"

-"So what?"

-"I know you my child. This is a pride fight. You are going to wait until he comes searching for you here, at your terrain, so you can arrange your own terms in order to come back."

-"Maybe… I  really haven’t thought about it. I'm assuming he will not come. This is the perfect excuse to make himself a widower."

-"I don't know this young man. I understand that outcome is the one you wish, but what if it's not like that? What if he comes for you?"

-"Unlikely."

-"Ahh… Stubborn girl. You didn't think about it, did you?

-"I came here to meditate. I will resolve my problems one by one. I have other responsibilities too."

-"Are you asking me to call for Kuren?"-

-"I'm not in the mood for your teasing mother. I just want to sleep the day off in a room that doesn't stink of male odor."

-"Hahaha! That is the wish of every married woman in the beginning. I'll leave you to yourself now. And I hope one day you can recall a sense of protection, home to that smell."

-"Ugh... Mother, please."

 

_Valley | Tobirama's bathroom_

* * *

 

If this would have had happened the first month of marriage Tobirama would have probably even taken some sake to celebrate his regained freedom. Now, the situation was vastly different.

The feeling of guilt was proving difficult if not impossible to remove. He took a long shower after she threw him out, then tried to distract himself with work but the headache left by the sake didn't cooperate.

He was spinning circles around the only alternative that seemed good enough to resolve this: apologizing while being sober.

He wasn't good with women, but neither a soulless bastard. When he heard her cry a strange flashback came to his mind. He remembered when his brother Kawarama died and his mother cried for him openly his father rebuked her strongly. His words etched in his mind since then: "I made you more kids to take care of woman! Your weeping only disgraces him!".

Those words stopped his mother from crying, which wasn't scandalous anyway but it broke her to lose a child so young in such a way, not being able to provide any protection. So she wept silently, hidden from his father, just like Makoto did that night with him. To make that comparison made a bile go up his throat. If there was one thing he didn't want it was to be compared to his father. He was stern and objective but his father was just barbaric. He killed his mother with grief… He didn't want to repeat such a thing.

When the sun was setting he finally recruited the resolution he needed. He went to the kitchen for some food and then searched for her in the library, the guest room, Hashirama’s garden, the battlements, but she was nowhere. Finally, he decided to ask Mito, just to be expelled from the other side of the paper door. She said "Ask your brother." and ended the conversation.

Hashirama was in his office covered in paperwork but he seemed to be waiting for him.

"So, you finally have the decency to show your face and ask where she is? It took you less than I thought, congratulations."- he said while he kept signing a tower of papers.

"Where is she?"- he asked without preamble.

"Where you can't find her."- Hashirama answered without looking at him.

"I´m not here for games. I'm going to apologize."

"Well it seems you are a little too late for that."

"Stop being so indirect. Where did she go?"

Hashirama stopped his paperwork and looked at him directly. The sun had set and the soft light of one candle just allowed him to she Hashirama's silhouette and his eyes. He wasn't happy.

"You should learn to soften your voice. You are too harsh, no one likes that."

"Nii-san, please. I can reach her soon if she is near."

Hashirama changed his expression. It softened with a mix of pity and sympathy -"She isn't. She went back to her father’s house. You lost your chance. If you want to apologize you will have to do it under her rules now. Are you willing to do that? Or do you want to fake her death and make yourself a widower like she suggested?".

"What? Why? Is she so disgusted with me that she prefers to lose her identity?"- the idea went right to his pride. Was she so miserable already?

"She thought you wouldn't fight for this relationship to work. It seems she thought it a lie since the beginning. She expected less attention, less interaction.".

"I thought the same. I thought this would be just work."

"But? You came here cause you changed your mind, yes? You want this to work better?".

"I… I don't want to be like father."

Hashirama seemed surprised by his words. Maybe he put a really miserable face, but Hashirama was the first to contradict their father about feelings and emotions in the daily war life. He understood instantly what he meant.

"Then what are you doing here? Go get her."- Hashirama said with a big smile while he lit the wall candles- "She left before sunrise, alone and by horse. She must be close to the coast already. You'll have a whole day to think about what will you do to make amends."

"Yeah, sounds trilling... I'll leave before sunrise tomorrow. Any idea or recommendation?"

"You have to know a woman in order to please her, and I'm talking of every aspect."- Hashirama dismissed him with that phrase after a wink and a sly smile.

Tobirama rolled his eyes at him and leaft quickly tough Hashirama saw a little red on the tip of his ears. He was such a prude.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keeped publishing in fanfiction but not here, I'm sorry!!!!


	14. Fidelity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

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> I´m here again with a new chapter, a little more spicy :3! (Yes is a longer chapter)
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> I loved your reviews please keep writing them!
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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It seems I have to make a clarification for the lack of sound:
> 
> \- people are screaming just when the text is written in caps.  
> \- when I write exclamations (!¡) is to indicate the person is talking at a higher volume than normal or excited, but not screaming.

_Coast Region._

* * *

Makoto delayed her visit to her father the most she could, she didn't really know what to say to him, she didn't even know if he remembered the entire issue. Her mother said he was getting worse at an alarming speed.

She picked a good old wine for him and went to his studio, where he spent most of his time when in his lucid times. Nothing had changed since her departure, but then it hasn't been that long after all… a couple months have been like years to her.

Her father didn't know anything about the bad tone of her relationship, even when he was fine. He was surprised she was here alone and without her pristine husband. when the conversation started focusing on Tobirama it started to be too awkward to sustain. Besides, she had to lie to her father in almost all the questions he made. All of it was too strange to let it just pass, so she asked her mother, but she kind of regretted it.

She asked while taking the noon tea on the balcony facing the sunset, one of the things she missed the most. She asked why her father had this strange idea, that she was madly in love and couldn't live without being near Tobirama? It was just ridiculous.

Her mother looked the emptiness of the horizon for a long time, she insisted when the silence went too long:

\- "Mother?"

\- "... sorry, it's just I don't want you to feel responsible for this"

\- "For his state of mind, you mean?"

\- "Yes… in short words, yes"

\- "Why… why would I think that?"

\- "He woke up with that idea after fainting in his studio… a maid founded him on the floor, his cup of wine all over the carpet… he had been bemoaning for send you away for days… blaming himself for sending you there. He knew you would hate that life, that it was probably your husband would send you back, that his choice had been selfish and only to protect the family name… that he promised you another life, his mind wasn't that bad back then"

\- "Are you saying that the guilt provoked him a seizure… and now he is worse because of that?"

\- "It isn't a fact, I'm just guessing… but it was a factor. He got so sad, he got drunk often… almost daily in his studio, while he touched the map you painted for him on the wall. It broke my heart to see him going down towards that path while being unable to do something…"-

Her mother almost never cried, in fact, it has been more often for her father to do so than to her mother. But now she cried, not by anguish or anger, the tears fell down her cheeks without blinking, her stare fixed on the agonizing sun. She was defeated.

She couldn't give any comfort to her mother, she herself was emotionally wrecked, and this was a new load for her unstable mind, so she left the balcony.

She left the house and went to the ravine, she ran along it as long and far as her legs took her until she was tired and the sun was gone.

A stream went near, falling into the sea. It was small now, the stubble left after the large river got diverted to serve as a water supply for the nearest abbey. She felt just like that, but trying to be less self-centered it reminded of her father too. It was horrible to think things worse to know that all of this became worse because of her sensibilities.

She thought herself to be strong in a vast sense of the word, but after a little pressure on her weak point, she almost broke in a short time. It wasn't even on purpose… god, she felt like an asshole, incredibly childish and stupid right now.

Her self-absorption ended when she heard footsteps, heavy ones, a man with no doubt. Someone from her house or someone stupid enough to walk alone in the darkness in this property. Even when she ran away, her father's lands were vast in extension. She prepared herself to fake a lost lady and break the neck of the stupid furtive that was marauding her father's lands.

She tore one of her sleeves showing her shoulders and some cleavage in order to make his prey more easy to fall, but the invader carried an oil lamp which made her realize the time. If her mother sent him to search for her, then she spent hours running, contemplating the darkness of the forest.

\- "Well, well… look what a beauty brings me the forest in the night… are you a nymph of the old river that was here once? Or a product of my feverish mind after hours of looking for some crazy girl that runs in the darkness?"

\- "Pff, shut up, I was going back"

\- "Is that how you greet me after months, my love? I thought you would run into my arms after experiencing the touch of tight ass-Tobirama…"

\- "As if yours was so good? Learn some humility"- she said. As she started the way back to her house, he grabbed her arm, quick but gentle -as he always was- and turned her around after hanging the lamp on a low branch.

\- "Hey… I missed you"- he said as he held her chin softly to look at her face. She didn't look back though, she knew what he was doing and wasn't up for it.

\- "I would be lying if I said I didn't… but it changes nothing. You know why I left and now I realize that coming back alone was a mistake"- she freed easily from his soft grip and walked back towards the villa.

\- "That's not entirely true"- he grabbed her again but now with both hands on her shoulders. He stroked her cold skin with his calloused thumbs- "You can tell me, you know it, I told you I will be always here for you..."

\- "Stop it!"- she hissed- "What do you think I am? A broken doll? I don't need this shit or your pity, I can handle my own, I was immature and thought of myself as an exception. This just made me realize I'm not. I told you to move away from what we had… it was a childish dream"

She could see his astonished expression with the candlelight, the reflection of the fire in his honey eyes… She hurt him so many times, she thought this time he would move forward since she wouldn't be near to make it more difficult… looks like she was wrong.

\- "It hurts me more to be away from you. To hear you are with another... and that he mistreats you. These past months I lived from memories, melancholy was something I didn't know before that, you didn't? Your mother told me you were unhappy in that house, I guessed Tobirama was a fool and couldn't manage a woman like you-"

\- "She shouldn't say anything, those are my problems. We are no longer confident, do I have to reiterate this? I may be a little mistreated, but I wouldn't break my vows and shame my father by letting your soft touch linger on my mind or body… at least until he gives me back or dies"

\- "I know. You must remember that I know you better than anyone.-"

\- "The one you knew was a naive girl that believed her father lies, I'm changing into another being… One you have the luck of not knowing"

\- "Don't say that. We change yes, but our essence lingers even after death. I know your essence, it's what I'm in love with."

\- "Shh… you don't know what you are talking about. You are in love with a mental image of me you made by yourself, to cure your sadness and melancholy. I'm not that good. Let's walk home, I'm tired."

\- "As you wish, my dear, but I still deny your statement. You are better than you think you are"

The way home was silent, it was true that Kuren knew me a lot. He understood she wanted silence, that she was tired of verbal fights. It was a comforting silence. A balm to her perturbed mind… God, she had missed this, it made even more difficult to accept that she must go back to the Valley, just the idea made her heart shrink.

Tobirama drained her to the bones, and now she couldn't go to Kuren arms (as much as she wanted) to get the precious energy and nurturing she so much craved for.

Was he respecting their votes in the same way? What stopped him from getting any expensive whore to empty his mind and body? What is this feeling that rises in her throat like bile… Envy? No… it was jealousy. Amusing, after all the shit that happened, she actually made an attachment to that rude moron. Even if a little, she cared, and that made it all worse.

They left the forest. The villa was visible on the cliff. She felt the tears ready to fall and she ran to her house. She heard Kuren yelling her name and then running behind, but she couldn't explain her tears so she ran at top speed, entered her room with a window and locked anything someone could use as an entrance. There she cried alone again. How many tears will she have to spend for Tobirama and his foolish acts? She wasn't sure if he even went to visit the whores but it made her feel stupid anyway. She was trying to fulfill the oath while she wasn't sure if it meant the same for him… She almost didn't know him after all.

_Next morning- coast._

* * *

She woke up from the sunbeams hitting her face. She fell asleep on the carpet near the fire of her room. It was really late and her house was calm as usual. She asked a maid to help her with her bath, she was a new one, friends with her sister. She tried her best, but couldn't hide her nervousness completely. She grabbed her wrist- softly- she didn't want to scare her, and asked what was wrong. She just replied she had listened very brave things about her and was honored to serve and was also nervous to make a good impression. She didn't swallow that, she was hiding something.

She asked her to leave her alone while bathing. Finally alone, she could relax in her old tub, the one she used almost all her life. She let the water wash away all the shit she had experienced, scrubbing hard when she remembered something especially unpleasant. She threw more prepared water with oils and scented soaps and lingered there, a moment of catharsis for herself after all the hard things that happen and the ones that will come.

That made her realize she had spent months without taking care of herself. The foreignness of the valley didn't make her feel comfortable and so she spent months without a touch, a nice one, not a demandant one.

Here in her domain she could imagine and do as she pleased. So she remembered her favorite position with Kuren. She craved for him, a lot. Even if she couldn't be with him physically he still was in her mind when it came to flesh pleasure (she lied to him), but no one will know.

_Somewhere between the valley and coast_

* * *

Tobirama left early hopping for a travel without rain, it was a long trip to the coast after all. He reflected on bringing the dog with him, but even if he knew it would bring Makoto´s good side, the dog was determined to guard Mito. It was easy to travel without him anyway, he obeyed Makoto instantly, but him… he wasn't so sure.

He traveled at a good speed but made stops for the horse to rest. He used his time alone to ponder over what he should say upon his arrival. How could he start? An apology? He knew that any demand or imperative order will be useless with her. Also, Hashirama was very clear. He had to bring her back to the valley with him no matter how long it takes him.

He concluded that anything he planed in this travel will be useless, since the last time he sketched something to say or determined course of action he ended failing.

When he finally visualized the old cliff villa he was tired and sore for mounting. He spurred his horse in one last effort and arrived in the middle of the night when everybody was asleep except for the guards.

He went to the stables uncloaked and one of the guards on watch, the older one, instantly recognized him, while the younger one looked him suspiciously.

\- "Milord! The matriarch said you will come one of these days. I'll call the ostler to accommodate your mount"

\- "Thank you… So Lady Kato said I will come?"

\- "Yes, Milord. We have been watching since lady Makoto arrived, wild girl, isn't she?"- the guard was a man near the forties, his playful and prurient tone distasteful.

\- "I´ll honor my wife keeping our private life that way, private Sir. Now if you will excuse me, I have a horse to take care of"

\- "Y-yes Milord, I apologize"- the guard excused himself and went clumsily back onto the house, probably to announce his arrival.

After he left his horse with the old horseman, the young guard who kept silent all the time escorted him through the hall towards a small and cozy office. It was richly decorated, with beautifully embroidered pillows- a woman´s office- he thought, probably Lady Kato. The guard side eyed him with an estrange expression… Anger maybe?

\- "You are here to amend your actions with Makoto?"

Tobirama gazed at him slowly. Who did this man think he was to talk about their relationship so freely?

\- "I'm no a simple guard of this house. I'm a servant of Kokuyo, in case you're thinking I'm overstepping"

\- "So you think you can stuff your nose anywhere near my wife's matters?- he said with disdain"

\- "That's just a title, I have known her since we were children"- the guard closed the distance between them. The man was almost his same height- "you have been mistreating her and you have the courage to come here just a few days later claiming her back? You know nothing of her if you think it will work"

\- "You know anything about me or our relationship. I will give you just one warning guard- retire yourself from my presence, and don't ever talk again about my wife"

The daring tone Tobirama used made Kuren's young blood boil with jealousy. How dared him to talk him like that. He wasn't his lord or any kind of superior, furthermore, he didn't deserve Makoto. His thoughts went through his mouth without censorship.

\- "Oh, but I know her, yes... intimately so. If you cannot manage what I say you should have thought it before doing anything but pleasing her, as she deserves"

Tobirama couldn't let linger the sexual implication in his statement. Was he the former lover he once asked Makoto about?

\- "I suggest you shut your mouth about such matters, as a gentleman should"- Tobirama said harshly, his mandible tight for keeping restraint. Their foreheads almost touching, defeating.

\- "I'm not speaking a rumor. We were lovers once if that's what you want to ask and she never once complained about my ministrations… Or at least she never ran away from me"

That hit a soft spot. Tobirama grabbed him by his collar and pushed him towards the wall, lifting his weight against it.

\- "You will care your own business  _guard_. She's no longer yours, never truly was. I don't see her running away with you, do you?"- Tobirama hissed, he was tired, and this welcome was irritating him far too quickly.

Now it was Kuren turn for being touched in a soft spot.

\- "And what do you know about how she feels and thinks. She has been days here in the villa, are you sure she's yours in body and soul?"- He teased. He had no more counters against Tobirama, but he refused to keep silent against him.

Tobirama remained silent but glancing him closely, considering if he should beat apologies out of him. He knew the answer was no, but he wasn't going to accept defeat from this stranger who was showing off without Makoto here to defend her posture.

After a couple seconds of glance fight, a woman in a nightgown equally embroidered entered the office from a side door of the room. Lady Kato-he thought again- since he never really met her before. She always remained here -in the coast villa- when her husband left for battle.

\- "Am I interrupting something? I hope you are not thinking about picking a fight in my office Kuren, especially not with our recently arrived guest"

Tobirama released him offhandedly, not without giving him a glance again.

\- "You can go to your quarter's boy, thank you for escorting him"

\- "Yes, my lady, I didn't intend"- he was discontinued by a hand sign of Lady Kato indicating him to stop and leave. He made a reverence towards her and left, eyeing Tobirama in warning. This wasn't over.

When Kuren left Lady Kato began saluting him as if nothing happened.

\- "Oh my, what a poor hour have you chosen to arrive, my boy. Let me see you"

Lady Kato looked undoubtedly stressed by his arrival, she had an elegant and delicate face tough her eyes held the same harshness that Makoto's. She was a small woman so she inclined him towards her in order to examine him closely.

\- "It shames me that my arrival awoke you, my lady"

-"Mother, you should say my dear"- she interrupted- Lady Kato, as her daughters, did not come around with words.

\- "As you wish… mother"- it was actually hard for Tobirama to say the word. His mother died when he was a small boy, he hadn't spoken that word in a long, long time.

\- "You have grown to be a handsome young man. I'm so sorry for not being able to attend the wedding, but we shall speak tomorrow, you must be tired. I prepared you a guest room for you since my daughter has refused to speak any further about your marital state. But the fact that you have come all the way from the valley is an indicator?"- she gazed him with hope clear in her eyes, a sincere smile on her lips.

Tobirama was extremely taken aback by Makoto's mother forwardness, but he couldn't have paraphrased any better his actual situation, so he just nodded.

Good! Please follow the servant outside the main door, she will guide you to your bed, my boy.

He did as she said not before offering a reverence. The servant girl was outside as Lady Kato said, she was nervous and was obvious she had been awoken because of him. She walked him silently until they reached the end of the corridor, a window allowed him to see the moon's light reflected in the sea right below them.

\- "T-this is the room of Lady Makoto's sister- Lady Tsuki. She said you shouldn't be far from your wife even if…"- she eyed him guilty then the floor. It seemed everyone here knew they had a dispute.

\- "Does she sleep there?"- he said pointing towards the next door room.

\- "Yes! That's lady Makoto's room… she wasn't waiting for you"- she said the last thing mumbling.

\- "Excuse me?"

\- "I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't speak those things!"- she apologized fervently with a pronounced reverence "I´ll leave you to your rest. Please ask any servant if you need something!"

She left quickly and he entered the room. It seemed Lady Tsuki had been away a long time. The room lacked personal touch in decoration and was sparsely furnished like she left and took with her all that held a personal meaning. It was better for him that way.

He changed into night clothes not even bothering with bath and threw his body on the bed. Tiredness made it one of the best night's sleep of the month.

 _Next morning- coast_ region.

* * *

She cleaned herself slowly, wrapped her hair and body with a towel and bathrobe and began her session of creams and ointments. It wasn't long before she heard the door from her sister's room opening. She was confused at first- she thought her sister was in her husband's house- but then disgusts quickly became her expression when it was Tobirama who went through the door frame.

\- "What are  _you_  doing here?"- she put down the cream she was using and stood up swiftly, throwing some of her ointments into the bathtub, covering her legs from exposure.

\- "were you expecting someone else?"- Tobirama didn't forget his little chat with that guard last night. The sentence came out accusingly.

\- "What?"- She looked him puzzled.

If she was seeing that man then she wasn't expecting him to join her in the tub, not now at least, he reasoned.

\- "One of your guards inform took the liberty of informing me about how he actively pleased you before you were sent to the valley-" he said in mocking tone, she interrupted him-

\- "A guard what?"

\- "Are you seeing him"- he approached her cautiously.

\- "I'm not sleeping with anyone if that's what you are asking. I suppose you hadn't visited any whorehouse if you have the nerve to ask that to me"

\- "Do I impress you as a man who enjoys whoring?"- he was now at arm's length.

-"I don't know you. We barely talked about anything but work, how-" it was his turn to interrupt her now.

\- "Is it true, then? That he was your lover?. That you screamed his name?"- He grabbed her by her arms, soft but firm, his face so close she could feel his breath.

\- "Why is that important now? I had a lover before, but so did you, and I'm not asking you about them!"- She tried to put some space between, but as she recoiled he advanced, so she began pushing him with her arms.

\- "The others were meaningless to me! You keep your past lover here, swaggering in my face!"-he raised his tone. It seemed whatever Kuren said went directly to his male proud, stupid Kuren.

\- "That wasn't my intention. I didn't know you were coming and Kuren works for my mother too. He's been here since he was a child"- Her back hit the wood wall of the bathroom- "Tobirama, let me go, what do you want!"-she pushed him harder and raised her voice trying to arise suspicion from the maids or wake some sense in Tobirama.

\- "I came here to apologize again! and this is how you receive me?!"- his eyes looked desperate and angry. He rubbed his thumbs on her arms, as if trying a caress her but failed, it was too harsh. As if he had never been caressed that way. It just made her flinch from his touch.

\- "Why?"- was the only word she could form. She wanted the real reason. She wanted to know why was he struggling to keep this failed marriage up. They could keep her intel contribution without the marriage, she was loyal. Did they doubt her motives?

\- "I…"- he looked down, searching for his answer on the floor, her clothes, anything but her face.

He released her arms, caressing them in an imaginary path until he grabbed her wrists when she recoiled his touch.

It perturbed her how he looked almost spellbound when he touched her as if he had never touched a woman before... which of course he did. He took her dominant hand towards his face, caressing his face with it with an expression of longing maybe? She wasn't good reading his expressions, they were so poor. He stopped all of sudden and looked her in the eye, something dark went through them. She knew it, she had seen it before, but she didn't want to accept this as an expression Tobirama was able to make: lust.

He blocked her completely and went much closer, maintaining her hand still near his face. He smelt her with a deep inhale, enjoying her smell. It made her guts tremble, she didn't know if in a good or bad way. He was going to suck her fingers when it hit her; she had touched herself with that hand... He was smelling her! She tried again to reclaim her hand only to find a firmer grip. His expression changed, he noticed her rejection. He talked then, the lowest tone she heard him talk ever, his forehead touching hers:

\- "You touched yourself…"

\- "..."

\- "Did you think of him while doing it?"

\- "..."

He looked her directly, eye to eye. She didn't know how to respond to that, or even if she should answer. Her intimacy was her own, wasn't it? She didn't answer, just stared him, his weird colored eyes. His pupils went smaller every second she didn't answer.

\- "Did you touch yourself in my house thinking of him?"- She heard the anger in his voice, the humiliation.

\- "No" - She whispered

\- "No what"

\- "I didn't feel comfortable enough under your roof- words spilled from her mouth quick like a stream, she felt the need to clarify -like a child who's caught stealing a candy- now let me go, you can't control my thoughts!"- she pushed him for real this time, disengaging his grip and finally being able to reach the door towards her room. Although, she had to say a few words before closing the door behind her back - "You better prove you are here to apologize and for your information, it's achieved by not being an ass!"

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the last upload, it wasn't nice to read, I will check last chapters, they must have a lot of mistakes since I made them with the same tablet app xD.
> 
> Thanks to evabrennan for helping me notice it and her corrections <3!


	15. The Lady

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Tobirama get to know with his mother in law.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. It's a slow chapter but necessary. action will come on next chapter!

...

 

She slammed the door behind her and gave it her worst stare, hoping it could reach Tobirama's stupid prehistoric head.

Not for too long though.

The big window of her room was open. The cold ocean breeze hit her back and she turned to close it, cold and anger urged her, she mauled the poor old wood frame.

Not the cold air nor intruders were welcome normally in her room, even less now when she was so pissed.

The maid she identified as her sister's friend was in her room. She pretended to be busy cleaning the room, but she knew better. She was spying on her, listening.

"What are you doing here?"– she was too obfuscated, she sounded harsh even to her own ears.

"I-I'm sorry, I was adjusting your clothes to make some place for your lord husband, your mother ordered– "

"Leave." – she interrupted the servant, her stupid mumbling was giving her a headache.

"Uh? Umm, but I haven't finished and your mother…–"

"Are you deaf?" – stupid snake in the grass, did she think she was dumb enough to not see through her?

"I'm sorry, I'll note your mother of your displeasure"–

"Leave! "–

What the hell happened with her life. She was supposed to be a grown woman, plotting in the safe shadow of Kokuyo she carefully built. Instead, she was still fighting to grasp the reins of her own life, still in her parents' house.

She wanted to pet Shibomashira.

 

* * *

_Lady Kato's office_

"She threw me out, my lady. She didn't buy my excuse and saw through my intentions immediately, I'm sorry."

"Don't worry my dear, I kind of hoped for this outcome"

"You knew?"

"I know my daughter, or so I like to think. I wanted to know how bad the situation was."

"It's really bad, she doesn't even let him come near."

Sigh– "It's my fault. I let her father deal with her absurd demands as a child alone. Now she doesn't know how to be a woman."

"Don't be so hard on yourself my lady. Yukiji (her sister) doesn't have these troubles."

"Everyone has troubles. We mothers must secure we give our children tools to deal with them properly when they leave our roof. I clearly failed to give her what she needs."

"What should I do now, my lady?"

"Nothing. The rest is mine to do. They won't leave this home until they share the room willingly, at least."

 

* * *

 

_Makoto`s bathroom_

Since he was already in the bathroom he decided to take the bath anyway. She didn't say he couldn't after all.

He didn't have too much planned out when he decided he was going to chase her. He thought he could think of something on the road, but even now when he reached his destination and talked –if you can say their past interaction was "talking"– he didn't really know what to say in order to not make this worse.

Every time he opened his mouth he screwed it up. It was becoming frustrating. He wasn't a social hummingbird but was good at negotiating.

Makoto gave him no choice. It was like he had to be someone else so she could give in. Of course, he wasn't going to change, but the idea brought back the memory of the young guard –her ex-lover– and their distasteful conversation.

On top of that, he was in her territory now, a disadvantage. He had to find allies or at least information in order to make her come back willingly to the valley or this would be the first time he would fail in any negotiation. He wasn't someone who failed.

He decided to pay a visit to Lord Kato. He was the main reason he was buried neck deep in this trouble after all.

He took his time in the bathroom. It was built to work also as a sauna. In the steam lingered her shampoo odor, but he already fought with her because of her smell and he wasn't going to visit her father after touching himself shamelessly.

He finished quickly and went towards his assigned room to find a set of clothes prepared for him.

Lady Kato assumed well about his package. He didn't bring any change of clothes since he hoped this to be quick. Once again he was wrong regarding this woman.

The sleeves were a little larger than needed since they were sewed lower into the torso, designed for someone of sturdier build, probably borrowed from Lord Kato. Not that he was complaining.

He asked a maid where to find him. As Lord of the house, it wasn't a problem to locate him. He heard what he thought could be his voice when he was in the corridor near the door. He was talking to a maid.

"You must be new, I haven't seen you around here before."

"Ha! The others... they told you, didn't they? You know exactly how to make my tea."

"You aren't a talker, hmm?

"Oh no, are you crying dear? This old man said something wrong?"

Tobirama, half curious half alarmed by this monologue, inclined his head in order to see who was the maid.

To his surprise, it was Makoto kneeling beside her father, arranging the tea set to retrieve it. It clenched his heart, she came here seeking refuge but her father didn't remember her.

Makoto took away her father's hands and tucked them lovingly in his lap –" It's nothing. I'm happy to serve."– she said with a small voice. She kissed his forehead and turned, picking the set hastily, trying to hide the rest of the incoming tears.

When she turned to leave she walked a couple steps looking at the floor and almost collided with him if not for him stopping her at arm's-length.

She didn't expect someone there and lifted her gaze with surprise, which changed immediately to apprehension when she realized it was him.

He pities her, and the feeling was reflected on his face, presumably, since she changed her expression to anger, fat tears leaving her big turquoise eyes.

"Who are you, young man? Is he annoying you, dear?"

"N-no my Lord."– she made a small reverence and freed herself. She was normally quiet when walking on the wood floor but now she fled walking soundly, if not almost running.

He knew she didn't want his pity, but he was genuinely worried about her. This was the second time he saw her crying in a short period of time, she didn't look like someone who cried a lot. He decided to talk with Lord Kato first.

"My Lord, I'm Tobirama, the younger of the Senju. Do you remember me?"

Lord Kato looked at him carefully for long seconds. He looked like he was making a great effort trying to remember him.

"Ah! Of course, I remember. You were always in the first row on the battlefield! Say, how's Butsuma?"

He said that with the biggest smile on his face, presumably, he was happy for being able to remember his father's name… though he died 14 years ago. Tobirama didn't know what to say. Was Lord Kato's memory loss recent? Could he just remember events from remote past? Maybe that's why he didn't remember his own family sometimes… 14 years or more is a long time. He followed his game, he concluded it was the less problematic choice.

"He's fine, my Lord. Have seen better days though, last battle was intense."

"Haha! Butsuma is a hard nut to crack, but what are you doing here my boy? Did he send you to be a squire here?"

Squire? He thought he was still a young boy? Couldn't he see he was a grown adult? So… his memory wasn't the only thing affected by his illness.

"I'm at your disposal, my Lord."– he didn't want to talk more than he should.

"You should go with Kuren. He can show you around. He's my first squire –he clarified– he's the one who is always with my first daughter. I trust you will be good friends, haha!"

He made a bow and went out of the room as quick as he could. He could maintain the poker-face only so much. If Lord Kato only knew the outcome of his decisions…

Kuren then...It seemed Lord Kato could just remember events prior Makoto's intervention in the war. He probably knew she didn't want marriage when he sent her to the Valley, maybe the outcome caused him pain too.

It was difficult to know, he didn't know anything about Makoto. One could only assume what kind of a relationship she had with her father. It's obvious they shared great confidence and love since he gave her enough freedom to manage a dubious intel net and many other liberties no woman has ever had till now.

He had to know more if he wanted to understand that woman.

" There you are! Did you see a ghost? You are paler than usual, my boy?"– Lady Kato found him in the middle of the corridor, blank stare while he digested his encounter with Lord Kato.

"I`m sorry, I just..."– he didn't know how to tell her about his conversation with the Lord without saying something that could be interpreted as offensive.

"Ah, you have talked with my husband already. Did he remember you?"

"Yes, but he sends regards to my father, he thinks he's alive."

"Sometimes he comes back to the present though. Those days are the worst. He has fewer symptoms when he thinks he's in the past."

"Symptoms? Like he still thinks I'm a child?"

"Yes. Dementia diminishes his tremors and body pain, or at least he forgets."

"I'm sorry I didn't know–"

"You don't have to apologize for that, my dear. Nothing about his condition is your fault."– she interrupted him.

Tobirama caught the subtlety under her words. He was to blame in other areas and she knew. He stared at her calculating her opinion regarding that matter.

"Don't be afraid, we can fix it. I will help you, but we shall talk first."

He just nodded. For now, Lady Kato was his only source and he was somehow relieved she was on his side, apparently.

 

* * *

_lady Kato's office (again)_

She led him towards her office and ordered not to be bothered until she indicated so, then made herself comfortable and offered him a seat. He took it reluctantly.

"You don't have to fear second intentions here Tobirama-dono. I love my child, but I guess you have hurt each other, it couldn't be unidirectional... I had also experienced her stubbornness."

Tobirama let his guard drop a little. He knew he would have to talk in order to gain Lady Kato's aid. He hoped she would be content with only a few words. Also, she called him by his name. Maybe she noticed his discomfort when she asked him to call her mother. She stared at him and made a motion for him to speak.

"I wasn't expecting the marriage to be real."

"At first, it seems, but now you are here trying to get her back instead of a divorce. What changed?"

"My brother–"

"You must pardon me but you don't have the fame of listening to your brother Tobirama-dono. More like you make most of the decisions. I am wrong?"– she interrupted him again.

Lady Kato saw directly through him. Why did she want to talk then? If she assumed what happened...

"A divorce would shrink Konoha's stability, people see our steadiness as a projection for the future of the village."

"Hmm... that's a very good answer, but my servant saw you interrupt Makoto's bath. Is that part of your steadiness?

Tobirama's ears and neck went noticeably red with the comment. He diverted his eyes from her knowing gaze. She wanted him to admit his hormone crush?

"My dear, you are a young man. I didn't expect something different. Men can be a little hard on the edges regarding this aspect but I'm conscious that the main problem here is my child."

"She treated me well... she healed me. I was ungrateful too."

"She did what she had to. It's her duty to take care of you, as you for her. Didn't you?"

"..."

"You feel you could have done better?"

"I tried to give her the distance she asked for..."

"But?"

"..."

"You didn't want space after some time and she didn't want you."

Tobirama tore his gaze away. It infuriated him, and more so when it was told on his face. He already knew it for god's sake.

"I'm sorry, my dear. I didn't mean to rub it in your face. I just wanted to know if you are here cause you really like her or cause of your sense of duty."

"I don't know enough of her to say so."

"Well, if it bothers you so much that she doesn't like you then you should definitely like some parts of her."

"That's not enough to hold a relationship the kind the village needs."

"Then you are making this effort in part for duty."

"I came here cause I don't want to replicate my parent's relationship... I made her cry once. I don't want to repeat it and she hasn't forgiven me for that."

He looked truly contrite. Tobirama's voice inflection in his last phrase held most of the emotion Lady Kato had ever seen from him before in his adult life.

She knew him as a child as an idealist, smart brat but she could still see emotion easily through his little face. Butsuma and the war took away that capability very early from him. When she saw him again as an adolescent he had already been hardened into what he is today.

She was happy that Makoto could dig so deep into him without even trying. His mother would be happy that her children loved her enough not to do what his father did to her.

"I'm glad you keep the memory of your mother so close to your heart. It's all that's left for us women, you know? The love of our children since we aren't allowed to do much more."

"That's why Makoto didn't want this life –the one that comes with being a wife– it holds no glory, nor adventure. Maybe you can't understand it, I don't blame you."

"You were born with the upright while she wasn't, she had to fight every inch of what she has and it cost her tears and blood, hers and some of her friends. She will cling to that life until her last breath. That's why she's so stubborn and prideful. Once you have tasted the triumph and adrenaline it doesn't compare with just being the mother of someone who did great things, we are forgotten."

"..."

"You haven't thought about it from that point of view, haven't you?

"That's why I'm here...How did she get into that at all?"

"That's her decision to tell you, it's her little secret after all. I'm just sorry that I didn't stop it when it started. Don't misinterpret me, it helped a lot in the war and keeps doing so in peace, but it causes her pain. Sometimes ignorance is bliss."

"Lord Kato approved of her behavior?"

"Ha! My dear, Lord Kato was the one throwing wood to the fire when she read those martial entries, he said he saw potential... and she was his beloved daughter. You would understand if you had one of your own."

Tobirama wasn't so sure about that, and even so, the idea was stupidly far in his condition.

"But?"- now it was his turn to ask.

Sigh- "He promised her a life she couldn't have. When she came of age she asked him to disinherit her and send her to an abbey so she could keep her secret job while leaving her first daughter responsibilities behind."

"But he involved her too much in the war without the consent of the council... and then got sick."

"He was going to do so, he really meant it but–"

"He got sick."

"And he knew they wouldn't approve of his decision. Hashirama-dono has always been different, but the others... they could have hung us all."

Tobirama let the information set in his mind. It was enough for now and Lady Kato was sincere in her efforts to help to consolidate this stormy relationship.

"I'm neck deep in this too, my Lady. The moment my brother and I choose to ignore the fact that we had Kokuyo under our roof we set the rope around our necks. We need her with us, the attacks on the perimeter of Konoha haven't ended."

"I know, Kuren has told me about it."

That name again. He couldn't hide his discontent this time.

"You hold a grudge for what he said that night? He's immature and didn't measure the consequences of his words. He's been reprimanded, I assure you."

"It doesn't make the facts to be less true."

"Hmm, I didn't take you for a jealous type Tobirama-dono."

"I'm not."

"Are you sure? Then it's just because he got something you have been denied?"

Tobirama decided he had talked enough, he wasn't going to follow Lady Kato's game till the end. He left his seat, the conversation was over and he let her know by making a reverence and turning towards the door, he meant no disrespect, after all.

"Eh! You have such a short temper for a diplomat, my dear. I didn't mean to tease."

"Thank you for the information and your sincerity, my Lady."

"My husband's haori suits you. I'll send a servant to measure you to tailor some clothes for you. This is going to be a long path, I'm sure."

I only hope you are wrong my Lady."


	16. Deja vu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blood spills again, it's desition time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! again here with a new chapter, things will begin to progress a little quicker from here (yey) hope to see your thoughts and recommendations in the comments!

 

 

* * *

_The barracks_

It was still early after his chat with lady Kato. He decided to take a look at the barracks hoping he could do something with his free time. After all, he was a guest with no obligations assigned.

He could see some of their youngest sparring with blunt swords, a man in a lion helmet was correcting them.

It was different from the style he used, sword and shield instead of a two-handed sword. He got near to have a better look. Older soldiers where training unsupervised not far from the beginners.

They trained for a couple of minutes until an older soldier came to the men in the helmet and gave him a small paper, a message presumably.

The helmet looked in his direction. Tobirama looked at him through slit eyes and the man started walking towards him. He was too close when Tobirama could see his eye color and realize it was Kuren no less.

"So, whom do we thank for the honor of your presence?" - Kuren took off his helmet and also swelled up his chest and chin.

Tobirama just arched his eyebrow and raised his chin. It seemed the reprimand lady Kato mentioned was not enough to low this young brat's airs.

"Why aren't you entertaining your wife? Or is it you enjoy more watching sweating young lads?"- he talked with a wolfish grin, mocking him.

Tobirama normally wasn't short-tempered, but this brat exasperated him easily. It took a lot of his self-control not to punch him right there in front of his men. But he knew better. Those men did not belong to Kuren, but Lady Kato. If he humiliated him that will only decrease the household military authority.

"If that's your first thought, then I understand why you train weaklings."

"Excuse me?"- that erased Kuren's grin quickly. He was still a lad after all, short-tempered and self-conscious.

"You heard me, lad. Don't mind me, keep playing with your sticks"- Tobirama began to make his way towards the old soldiers.

The reprimand lady Kato gave him this early morning was still fresh in his mind, but not the way the lady pretended. Her words only intensified the idea of taking Tobirama out of this residence and Makoto's life. He swallowed too many words when Tobirama pushed him against the wall that first night. Now, every time he saw him and his blood boiled just with thinking of him sleeping with Matoko. He didn't deserve her.

"Big words for such a pretty man, so hairless and pale. You are prettier than half the women here!" - the rest of the rookie soldiers laughed in unison at Kuren's bragging. He was going to make it impossible for him every second he spent here.

Tobirama turned, his eyes daring and angry. Kuren achieved what he wanted, an excuse to hurt him physically.

"You don't have to beg so much for a duel with a real warrior, lad."- Tobirama said begrudgingly- "but I don't play with sticks. I'll bring my sword."

Kuren shortened the distance between them and talked only centimeters from his face- "First blood, is it? I´ll wait in the sparring arena."

"I won't do less than that."

 

* * *

_Sparring arena_

Tobirama went back to his borrowed room, took off the haori and picked up his only baggage, his katana. He planned and survived many battles with her until now. He will see that brat remembers the first blood he was going to get from this blade.

He tried not to be seen by Lady Kato or Makoto, he knew they would try to stop this. When he reached the arena all the soldiers, rookies and elders were there making a circle around it.

"It took you some time. Were you powdering your nose, my lord?"- More laugh.

They resemble mandrills shouting from their save place in the branch of a tall tree. Disgusting. He will shut their silly mouths immediately.

"A true warrior lets his actions talk for him, a disciplined soldier doesn't brag."- Tobirama chanted as he went to position and unsheathed his weapon.

The comment erased Kuren's facade- "You are not the only one trained and aged in battle, you fool."

"Then be silent and fight."

His words were the signal to start. Kuren fights with a longsword and a medium shield. It was a plain defensive style for a very sturdy man. They sized each other up walking in circles around the arena, pondering their opponent's possible first move.

Kuren reached first, he was younger, impatient and trusted his shield arm too much. Tobirama, of cautious nature, saw this during the first seconds of their match and was determined to use it against him. It could have been easy for him to damage his shield hand, making him drop his defense, but that would spill blood and he wanted to make a major injury.

Tobirama limited himself to block and parry Kuren's advances, collecting his mistakes in his mind's eye.

Kuren, on the other side, wasn't so inexperienced himself. He had fought all his life as well, but his temperament was different, less cunning and more guts. It was reflected in his fighting style. He threw different attacks and tried a variety of angles to see his rival openings and flaws while Tobirama just observed.

The fight was intense, aggressive and sweaty. They seized each other for several minutes but both grew impatient, they wanted to make as much physical damage as they could without spilling blood. The used contuse blows, pommel and shield hits, a knee to the gut or in articulations which they knew that didn't bleed immediately but were extremely painful after they swell.

Until Kuren noticed an opening in Tobirama's defense. It was small and difficult to notice as if he had been hurt in recent battle. He relayed too much on his left leg. When he changed his parry stance that leg was a second slower than it should be. If he succeeded in his blow, he had a high chance for a fatal wound - if the blade reached the femoral artery- that bastard will have the luck of a quick death.

Tobirama thought much more as a warrior. He had to admit this lad was actually very good in his own style, he was neat and precise. He tried to save most of his strength in order to maintain his stamina. Still, even then, -Tobirama saw his opening. Kuren was right-handed while Tobirama mas left-handed, that left an unprotected area under his elbow easy for him to reach, a wound there will be incapacitating and painful but not fatal, Tobirama decided to use that point.

 

* * *

_House main balcony_

"Did you call me mother?"- her mother was resting her weight on the balcony rail, looking toward at the training grounds with some amusement on her face. She knew her mother was going to sniff her nose in this issue with Tobirama, she was planning something. Anyway sooner or later, she will have to face him to tell him to go away or make some kind of agreement to go back to the valley with him. And her mother seemed to want her out of this place.

"Yes dear, although things have turned interesting this day in a different way than I expected."

"Is that so?"

"Come, here. Take a look yourself."

The main balcony of the house allowed a view towards the front of the household, the training grounds, the soldier's space and some of the stable that was beside the house, the back of the house was part of the cliff facing the sea.

There was a commotion around the biggest arena, at the beginning, it was difficult to see who was sparring since the soldiers were stacked up in the perimeter of the arena. She looked at her mother confused they were her father's garrison, she had nothing to do with them. Her mother rolled her eyes and insisted. She tried again, it just took a glimpse of white hair to understand why her mother was so amused. But who was he fighting? She didn't have falcon eyes, it was difficult to see from here with all those men cheering and moving, blocking her vision.

She focused trying to see who was. It could be no one… or it could be Kuren. In the back of her mind, she hoped Kuren not to be stupid enough to challenge Tobirama to fight.

Her guts clenched with anxiety, Tobirama's opponent used a shield, just like Kuren. But many of the soldiers used it, right? She still couldn't see any peculiar feature on the other man, until she saw a man on the multitude raising up his signature lion helmet in a cheering way.

"Why are you letting them?!"

"My dear, you should be flattered. Not all days you have two men sizing each other for you."

"They don't fight for me, mother. They fight for their own pride. Don't try to dress this up!"

"Sometimes the only way out is to let them, my child. Men are what they are. They always spar, as long as it stays like that I don't see the wrongness you try to suggest."

"They are not sparring, they want to hurt each other."

"They have just crossed a couple of words, my dear. Why would they want to spill blood already?"

As conjured she hears a groan and the men suddenly fall silent. She turns back towards the arena only to see Tobirama stabbing Kuren on his side with his concealed sword. She knew it!

Makoto gives her mother an "I told you" look and leaves quickly towards the arena. Her mind runs a hundred per second, trying to guess what internal organs could have been hurt and the measures she will have to take.

Because, of course, she was going to heal Kuren. Who else would? She always did it. He had been her main guinea pig, not that he complained too much. She always studied deeply the subject theoretically and on animal models. She did a good job every time.

When she reached the first floor she ran towards the arena, it was easy since at home she always wears pants and espadrilles.

Kuren was already being moved to a stretcher carefully, but Tobirama didn't let anyone touch him. He was inclined forward as if regaining breath after a long run. When the soldiers noticed her presence they made some space immediately. She wanted to go with Kuren, that was her first impulse. But it would look so wrong with all the soldiers looking, witnessing how she neglected her husband in favor of Kuren.

She watched from afar how they took Kuren towards the nursery. She was going to take care of her husband. It was the correct choice, the one she always wanted to make.

How relieved she was of her resolution when she approached Tobirama's front. He wasn't regaining his breath, he was trying to pull out the sword that Kuren had stocked on the left side of his groin. Her heart pumped hard with horror.

"Stop it! Don't push it out, you will bleed out!"- she tried to stop him taking his bloodied hands, Tobirama just looked her in the eye, half smirking, half in pain.

"I won."- he said trembling, she didn't know if it was because of the adrenaline or the pain.

"What?"

"I won… the first blood."- still trembling

"Don't be stupid, that's a horrible wound. Let me take you to the nursery."

She tried, she really tried to put his hands away from the sword, but Tobirama was gripping it from the blade, making it difficult to take them away without cutting him anymore.

He looked at her with something akin to a grin, took a deep breath and pushed the sword out with his strength.

"Don't!"- she screamed before he hit her ribs with the pommel of the sword unintentionally when he pulled the weapon. It hit the air out of her lungs but Tobirama was staggering and used her as support. The soldiers around just gazed with awkward stances.

"What are you waiting for! Bring another gurney! Now!"- if he died here things would turn horribly wrong for her family.

The soldier brought it quickly and helped her to move him in. She wanted to check his wound here but he didn't allow her to remove his clothes. The hemorrhage won't stop. She removed her short embroidered haori and used it to apply pressure. They moved quickly towards the nursery.

They moved him to the bed, then she asked just a few of them she knew to stay and help her with restraint.

"Give him a dose of poppy milk, please."- she asked the nurse of the barracks. The family doctor was checking her father, so this was on her. She never sutured any vessels before.

She washed her hands and picked the equipment. If he was still alive the artery was probably fine. She tried to remove his clothes, he got tense and removed her hands.

"I don't need to be restrained like a child. I'm familiar with the pain of flesh wounds."- he muttered, still trembling.

She gave a signal for them to leave, only the nurse stayed. The least she could do was to protect his pride.

She proceeds to disrobe him again, leaving him in his fundoshi, the white cotton of it was half red already. She remembered by a fraction of a second -like a deja vu- the first time she disrobed him. It also was because of a medical condition. She drank the beauty of his pale skin. This time she was quickly diverted towards the source of blood, she retrieved her haori and waited for the jet of blood, instead, it was a low and pulsatile flow. It was venous blood. She exhaled the air she didn't know she was holding.

She examined the incision. It was vertical and just touched some veins, high in caliber but fixable. It seems Kuren was stabbed first and he lost the direction of the thrust.

The doctor came just in time, called by one of the soldiers. He washed and stitched the main vein injured. He let her suture the skin and muscle since he had to attend to Kuren now.

She gave him another dose of milk of the poppy to work calmly. She must do her best if she wanted to let a thin scar. No matter how mad Tobirama made her sometimes, her work must always be the best… And she didn't want a thick and deep scar to compromise his movement in future battles, or so she said to herself. It wasn't related at all with preserving his fair skin and nicely shaped thighs, at all.

She continued with his hands. He had an ugly cut on them from holding the sword, she cleaned and debrided them. He was a lucky guy, he didn't damage his tendons. She wrapped them carefully.

She proceeded to wash him. The dried blood was painful to remove. The nurse (which was male) offered to do so. But she rejected him politely. It was her husband, after all, it would be weird. Besides, there was something cathartic in healing Tobirama. She felt close when she did it, it was a strange feeling, to have his life in her hands. When he was asleep he gave her the impression of being in need of nurturing, protection. Not because he is weak, not at all. She felt like he needed, cause he never had it. Diametrically different when he opened his mouth to talk shit.

She gave him a sponge bath, cleaned the dirt out of him, removed all the blood from hair to toe. She found she would actually like to wash his hair, thin and slightly long after a while without a cut, and so pleasant to the touch.

She cleaned him methodically leaving the dirtiest area (his groin) for the end. She did it without thinking too much of it. Removed his fundoshi soaked in blood and wiped all the blood. Only then -when he was already clean- she gave herself a moment to actually give his member an appreciative look. It was only fair after his numerous intromission into her baths, or that's what she repeated to herself in her head.

He was slightly erected after the sponge bath, thick, not absurdly long, but short wasn't a word she would have used to describe him.

The superficial veins under his navel showing deliciously, marking the way down almost uninterrupted if not for the few short, light hairs. She had to admit if it weren't for his temperament and her pride, she wouldn't care to suck him occasionally. The thought made her bite her lips.

The poppy milk was losing his effect on him, a light growl took her out from her daydream. She covered him quickly putting a clean cloth on top of his groin and proceed to dress his thigh. Pretended she didn't just drool looking at his cock. Such a hypocrite woman she was after all.

He stiffed when she wrapped the soft cotton under his thigh, focusing his gaze on her for the first time. He looked doped, he tried to incorporate himself only to fail when his head spun, probably.

"What did you give me?"- he spoke slowly and low. She kind of liked him like this.

"Opium, it was better and safest for you that way."- she said like it was obvious.

"You drugged me, woman!"- he sounded annoyed -tch- she didn't care, it was a medical resolution.

"I saved your ass again. You better open an account on my name."

"...you- my ass?"- his tongue was still numbed, he spoke funny.

"Yes, again. I-sa-ved-you." - she came close and spoke slowly so his numbed brain could process it.

"Now?"- he said confused

"Yeah, just now"- she replied quickly, a little exasperated.

"Will you... mount me?"- he said, his tone skeptical.

"What?!" - When had he concluded that?!

"I can't move so…"- he threw his head back exposing his neck after he said that, his hands clumsily moving over his chest, not noticing his bandage… as if touching himself. She stopped him when it was obvious he was going down.

"You misunderstood!"- as always… it seemed opium made him horny, more than normal at least. She placed his arms on his side. "Don't move!"- she barked as an order.

"It will be… difficult, I'll try."- was that a sly grin on his face? She called the nurse.

"I need a somniferous, he won't stay still and his wound could open."- she said quickly. The nurse understood her urgency and worked swiftly.

She didn't want to use the somniferous, it caused a heavy migraine and nausea when the patient awoke, but he was helpless.

The nurse couldn't manage the administration, Tobirama was wary of him so she had to give it to him. He accepted it from her but not without sucking her index finger in the process when she approached the small cup to his mouth.

She laughed awkwardly when the nurse gave her a knowing look. Inside she was mortified, disgusted and just a little aroused.


	17. Decisions, decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> finally some action! but drama intensifies...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! my beta couldn't read this chapter so it could have some mistakes... hope you can enjoy it anyway!

* * *

  


Pain awoke him. Right on his left thigh, he couldn't move his leg without pain. He let out a strangled growl, his mouth felt like sand and his head throbbed with each pump of his heart.

 

There was little light around, he couldn't catch where he was, and could barely open his eyes without feeling an acute headache.

 

He felt the soft breeze of the sea on his face -it annoyed him- making him turn his face in the opposite direction. The movement made him groan in pain again.

 

He tried opening his eyes one more time, trying to see where in hell he was. He thought he saw an oil painting. The mystique aura of the room and the difficult to move made him fix his attention in the piece. It had a woman lying on a piece of foreign furniture - a Chaise longue - of dark wood makeshift and white cushion. She was laying on her side -facing him- wearing a thin turquoise robe, her hair fell loose over half her face. He thought it was beautiful.

 

It took him a couple of minutes to get his eyes accustomed again when he noticed how the moonlight of a probably full moon illuminated her face, it was obvious then it wasn't a paint on the wall. It was Makoto, sleeping in an uncomfortable position with a troubled expression on her face. She was most likely taking care of him, again.

 

When he realized who she was it was like his other senses were activated. Even with a horrible headache and the pain on his leg, he smelled her shampoo scent on the pillow, it made him feel a strange comfort knowing she was with him. He allowed out a soft moan and tried to feel more of the softness of the sheets -tried to enjoy her bed- just to make his leg pain worse. It was his punishment for being greedy.

 

His hissing and groaning finally awoke her. She raised from the couch quickly -almost alarmed- and secured him in the bed, checking his forehead with her cold hands.

 

“You have to stay still or the stitches will get open. At least you don't have any fever”- she said in low voice, she sounded tired.

 

He tried to talk but his mouth was too dry, he just let out a pitiable sound, her hands felt so good on his skin.

 

"Your lips are chapped, here, take some water”

 

She helped him to sit, his head spun again and was unavoidable to use her to support himself, she smelled wonderful as always.

He gulped down all the water she gave him and still wanted more. He hoped she would stay there, near him, her presence made the pain more bearable. He tried to hold onto her when she made the gesture to leave, just to be reduced again by her to his initial posture on the bed.

 

“You need to rest”

 

“It's your bed- he cleared his throat, it was difficult to speak even after he took some water- you looked uncomfortable on the cushion”- his voice sounded hoarse and it was painful to swallow his own saliva.

 

“It's alright, you need space for your leg to heal. I can give you more painkillers, it will help you to sleep”

 

It wasn't what he wanted. “Stay”- he asked while grabbing again her wrist. He couldn't say “please” aloud, but he hoped it was imprinted in his expression.

 

“I can't stay in the bed, but I'll be here, just here on the sofa”

 

He let her go. He felt rejected just once again. She took her chance and seated in her original place again. It made him remember why was he in this situation, wounded in her bed so far from his own home. And Kuren’s name was all he could remember before anger took over his mind.

 

“You already checked on him? did you watch him from the couch too?”

 

“What does that have to do with you?”

 

“Everything about you is related to me too now, we are married, I don't die yet”- it hurt to talk, but he needed to vent this now before his reasoning told him to shut up and behave.

 

"I didn't mean that, and of course, I made it my personal goal to keep YOU alive in case you didn't notice”

 

"It doesn't seem so. Every time I'm around you I'm injured and close to death ”

 

“That’s hardly my fault”- she stood when she talked, she looked outraged.

 

“Is it? How do I know you didn't plan this with him in order to erase me from your life?”

 

“Now you are just being paranoid, this is the reward for my sleeplessness nights taking care of you? You were the one that challenged him anyway, how I'm guilty of that?”- she was pacing through the room like a caged lion, but still, he couldn't stop his hostile talk.

 

“You let me no option. He showed off around the house at my expense and you did nothing, even now, he tried to kill me and what punishment did you give him?”

 

She didn't reply. He assumed it was because she didn't give him any punishment and he was right.

 

“I’m not like you think I am. Kuren was rebuked by my mother- who happens to be his superior. I don't belong to this household anymore in case you don't remember, hence, I can't punish the people who work here”- a pregnant pause- she looked him like pondering if she should keep talking, she finally added- “my mother demoted and reassigned him”.

 

“So? There’s no real punishment for his treachery? Just a relocation”

 

“His position was everything he had, he doesn't hold a noble title or lands. We literally took everything he had”- it seemed that was enough to shush him. He made an effort and turned his face contrary to her sight.

 

He was still angry, in her own heart she knew he was right. Treason is punished with death, a relocation wasn't enough. But her mother couldn't make the call, Kuren was like a son and she didn't want to push the matter, she still had feelings for him after all.

 

She left the room and asked a maid to look after Tobirama’s needs for a while.

 

Her feet took her instinctively towards her father’s studio. He wasn't there, of course, it was past midnight, but the place always helped her to think clearly. She was tired and wanted so many things- to sleep in a bed; drink some wine; a cuddling time with Shibo; to take a break from all this and go towards the lair; to see Kuren…

 

None of them were things that should be on her priorities now. She was trying to be objective in this decision, leaving aside her feelings for him, but it was clearly not happening. Would have been the contrary she would have demanded Tobirama’s head immediately. She formulated several hypothetical situations in her head. What if the attempt was made against her father or Shibomashira?  Would she still doubt to demand Kuren’s life?

 

She found out the answer was no. she would have taken his life as payment on her own hands. If Kuren would have succeeded then she definitely would have to pay death with death. That made her think about Hashirama, his death would also sadden her. It surprised her that she would probably also kill Kuren for Hashirama’s life or Mito’s.

 

Then she definitely was acting wrong. She was making this personal and subjective and Kokuyo wouldn't allow that to happen. This wasn't just about her and Tobirama. Kuren wasn't the person she should allow herself to be permissive and with all the pain it will bring her, she will have to fix it.

 

She went towards the aviary, quickly before her resolution falters. She wrote a short message and sent her owl. She wasn't quiet enough it seems. Her mother had followed her.

 

“So, you finally decided to do it?”- she said with a small, grieving voice.

 

“It has to be done”- she replied quietly

 

“This will not resolve your relationship, since the beginning he wasn't the problem"

 

“I know, but I won't let this to make it worse, I shouldn't”

 

“You fool, selfish woman. His blood will be in your hands”

 

“I can't control what happens, he is an adult. He made his own choice”

 

“He made it out of love for you, something you can't feel it seems”

 

“I love my family”

 

“You love us because you must. As everything you do”- her mother said in a huff.

 

“You are talking just like Tobirama, it was you the one that said that to him?”

 

“He only sees the truth. It stuns me, how could I raise a child- a person who can't love!?”

 

“Why are you saying this now. You know how I am”

 

“Cause I thought Kuren will be able to pierce that piece of rock you call a heart. How could you?”

 

“All this is because you want me to spare him?”

 

“Life isn't just about duty! You have to fight for your wishes. I thought you had learned that from your father”

 

“Duty is all you and my father passed on me, mother. When I tried to fight a future for my own my father destroyed my hopes with the full weight of reality and you did nothing to help me, you hypocrite-”

 

“Don't you dare to speak me like that!”- she interrupted her hissing a warning.

 

“You are asking apples from an elm tree if you think I’m different”- she said as she passed her, she wasn't going to discuss anymore with her, the decision was made. Her mother looked appalled, seriously she thought she was different?

 

“The only hypocrite here is you, discoursing about duty while being unable to fulfill the very first one you were assigned but you didn't approve -she turns towards her while speaking- to honor and satisfy your husband”

 

“Ha!, speaks the one unable to give the order”

 

“I'm not the one that raises a monument of self-pride for being dutiful because that’s what duty is about! Commitment, even when you don't like it you brat!”

 

She didn't want to hear more, she turned and left while her mother was still speaking.

 

“How much blood you have on your hands because of your selfishness and arrogance!”- was the last she heard before her mother burst into silent sobs while she walked away.

 

 

* * *

She went to her room, decided. She wasn't going to let her mother fill up her mouth with her supposed lack of commitment. That was something she held high about herself. The only thing that was left for her were her values and her father’s will.

 

It didn't matter how much messages and secrets she send through her pristine prison, her own pride was the rope around her neck, loyalty was her presentation card and the rule around everyone who served Kokuyo.

 

She must leave, this place will never be her home again, her mother loved Kuren too much. She was obsessed with her supposed failure when she couldn't give birth to a male and practically adopted Kuren. Her mother favored him too much to let this matter go, maybe even more than she loved her. Her mother will let Kuren go away and she (Makoto) will sing for her new owner as she should. The song at least she could choose.

 

She sent the maid away, Tobirama succumbed to the fatigue and was sleep again. She looked him sleeping for some seconds and then went to her balcony. She grabbed the handrail and breathed deeply, filling her lungs with the ocean air she missed so much. She really didn't want to comply, she didn't want to be pushed to live like a public person. She didn't want, she didn't want, SHE DIDN'T WANT.

 

But she MUST, she took every one of those wishes and put them in a tight bun in a corner of her mind, a frustration to vent on another occasion.

 

She went back to her bed, she decided she wasn't going to sleep again on the sofa, five days had been enough.

 

She removed all her clothes and pulled the covers of the bed. The maid made the most use of the time and helped him to bathe, his hair was still wet and he smelled like her soaps. It suited him.

 

She put hands to job literally, after checking his leg dressing she opened his sleep yukata and massaged his lower belly and his right inner thigh. He didn't give signs of awakening, good.

 

She touched him through the fundoshi, his legs were parted because of his wound given her easy access. She cupped his balls and then touched his member again through the fabric. She heard him exhale audibly.

 

She decided it was enough and cut his fundoshi on the side. She touched him with only her index finger, tracing superficially his half hard cock from base to his circumcised tip. She saw him throb slightly and felt him growing harder and bigger when she took his member with her whole hand, his ball sack pulling up near the base of his cock. She had never done this before, usually, the sex was too passionate to stop and explore so slowly.

 

It was enlightening to be able to see the effects like this. She looked up at his face to see if he had awoken, his mouth was slightly open and his eyes moved a little under his eyelids, it seems he was dreaming… probably about the same.

 

She stroked him a couple times more, he was tick, and she found herself pleased with his weight in her hand. She let go his cock to massage his sac, his hard cock twitched against his lower abdomen with each beat. Between the light of the moon and the fireplace, she could she his gland shining with precum. She used it to massage the head and he inhaled sharply. She pumped him and massaged until the head of his cock was nearly touching his abs. She didn't know if he was still dreaming at this point but it didn't matter as long as he did not talk or attempted to touch her.

 

She finally decided it was enough, and got lower. She sucked the tip of his cock and he trusted slightly, his face was convulsed in a combination of pain and pleasure. His mouth open and his brow furrowed.

 

She took two-thirds of him in her mouth -he was too thick to take more- and she began. His trusting started weakly but as he got close to his pick he trusted harder, obliging her to use one hand in his hip to retain him, while the other massaged the point between his balls and anus as it cupped his balls. She knew men liked the pressure there and it made them finish quickly.

 

He breathed quickly and soundly, he let small moans when he exhaled and moved his good leg as if trying to get away although it was obvious he was enjoying it. His fingers twitched on the sheets as if trying to grab something -he was still dreaming, still sleep- as she bobbed her head, her mouth sucking his cock until it was hard to breathe.

She felt his sack tighten and changed her sucking retiring his cock from her mouth and rested it on his lower abdomen, using her mouth to keep it there while she sucked and licked under his head where the frenum meets the soft skin.

 

She felt him tremble with the orgasm, he let out a loud groan and graved the sheets at the side of his head with force while he spilled his cum on his own abdomen and chest. The balls of his feet buried in the mattress, his spine flexed and his hips high.

 

She couldn't see his face but heard his labored breath, she was sure they were open now. She keeps licking his oversensitive cock and squeezing his balls until he spurted all that he had. His hips giving small and slow trust. She heard him clearing his throat and saying “what?”

 

She finally let his softening cock to face him, her hands supporting her over him besides his torso. She took an appreciative look while letting him look at her naked. He wore a combination of confusion and lustful look. It seems he couldn't decide if this was real or not. She was supported on her four limbs over him, exposed at the night air.

 

She looked at him, his semen spilled all over his chiseled chest, thin sweat covering him, his smell all over her room and his taste in her mouth. He looked positively fuckable. She noted then she was wet, the air of the night making obvious her moist. Her body was ready to get filled by him. Not her mind tough.

 

She decided it was enough and got off him breaking the spell of the moment. She took a towel for herself and threw one in the bed for him, then went to clean herself in the bathroom.

 

She didn't want to answer his questions so, after she was clean again she went to sleep in her old sister’s room.

 

She finally resolved she was fighting against something so much big than her. She let her father catch her in a net the moment she accepted to honor and obey him. She just has been fighting all this time against the bars of her cage. Hitting the metal, making a disturbance in the owner’s room but since the beginning, she was never going to be free again. She was now at the counter looking pretty.

 

A comfy cage of gold and fur, but still a cage.


End file.
